Have any of you done elaborate things with money, cards etc to avoid buying takeaways/treats, or other spending issues?

[me4real]

I have very bad impulse control and developed a serious justeat/deliveroo habit that had a financial impact that wasn't good.

So I deleted my accounts on those (not for the first time lol) and am also doing stuff like I set up different bank accounts I can't easily access etc.

We're not talking sendiing over massive amounts of money, I just can't be trusted with any much.

I know this is a first world problem but it was probably not good for my health. I'm not overweight at the moment but hope to lose a few lbs- and not be as broke.

I've even found ways around it, like the bank lets you/me go into being overdrawn as long as you go back into the black by the end of the day- so that's my diet-screwing treats or takeaway sorted.

Anyone else do exotic things to try and stop their spending on something?

Did it work?

I know people that take cash out at the start of the week / month as their disposable income and then hand a card over to a family member, but this may be harder in a Covid world!

Can you get someone trusted to hold you accountable?

I know for a fact that my spending would be worse if DH didn’t deal with our finances - we are saving like mad, so on payday we transfer money into our joint account and both leave ourselves with enough for cars/phones and leisure - but once it’s gone, that’s it. I’d never take from the joint account for a personal expense

I have bipolar and when I went manic, I ended up in London spending the rent money. Thats when we made the decision for DP to hold the cards and always to have £20 in cash in the flat incase I need something, but not enough for me to do alot of damage to our finances.

I can still access money and in today's world, if I went on a shopping spree I could still do it, via Amazon or another shopping site, so it only limits the damage as it is far easier to return things on Amazon.

I wouldn’t say I’d call it elaborate but since we moved 23 miles from the nearest civilization and where no one will deliver to us (food would be cold after that journey) we don’t spend anything on food eaten outside the house unless we are on a road trip or we go to a restaurant in the nearest large town 75 miles away for a special occasion such as a birthday. Delete any ordering apps and remove the phone numbers from your contacts. Just imagine they are not there anymore. Imagine they no longer deliver to your area at all.

Sounds to me like you have a spending addiction - a very real condition. You would perhaps benefit from accessing therapy to understand why and to treat it. A relative has this it's slowly being more recognised.

Monzo card with an autoload from your wages of what you're happy to spend each month. Everything else direct debit from your bank account. Give the bank account logins to other people, split between two people who don't know each other. Destroy the bank card. Now you only have what's on your Monzo to spend each month. It's not impossible to get more money but it's really hard.

@Sobeyondthehills sorry to hear about how your bipolar has affected your spending.

In case nobody has ever mentioned it to you, in financial services this would class you as a "vulnerable customer". Vulnerable people should be treated well irrespective of if the tell the bank up front or not, but you can ask your bank and credit card providers to flag it on your accounts. Doing so increases their burden of care to you and can (depending on provider) mean that they flag weird spending patterns faster/challenge spending etc

You obviously have a system that works for you now, but just thought it might be helpful to you/others to know it's available. Michael Lewis does great stuff campaigning on theses types of issues (the intersection of mental health and money management) but the regulator (FCA) is getting increasingly active around customer vulnerability, which can only be a good thing.

I transfer a certain amount on Monzo each week, it covers food, entertainment, transport etc...
At the end of the week, everything that remains goes to a pot for a new bathroom (was for holiday pre-covid but looks like I'm more likely to take a shower in my flat than visiting Russia anytime soon).

I use an app called Revolut that has "Savings Vaults". I open loads for speific things like groceries, takeaways, holidays, petrol etc and on payday transfer my budget into each. It's worked really well. It's almost become a little addictive sticking to the various budgets and having money left over by payday which is nice.

I don't think this is a finance issue, really -- it sounds like a relationship to food and eating thing that is merely expressed with spending because you don't have the louxury of being able to afford to eat the way you are.

You can continue to try to introduce transaction-based/financial friction into the process of acquiring food, but that won't change your eating habits if you suddenly won the lottery or whatever. It's not the real problem, it just looks like it is.
The real problem is, I assume, that you use food -- takeaway deliveries and ad hoc "treats" as an emotional crutch and/or reward system. So a lot of the time you believe the thought that "I shouldn't eat x" and "It's bad if i eat y" and then after a whole day opf thinking those really negative, constraining thoughts, you think "oh well i've suffered all day denying myself so i can have a treat" or "i'm feeling really stressed out and deprived and i hate my body and i'm really diheartened about everything in my life i can't control, so i might as well just have the takeaway and make myself feel better".

I would advise going here: www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/Resources/Looking-After-Yourself and looking at some of the worksheets/programs to help you change your thinking around these issue. Particularly useful, I would hazard, are the "disorderd eating" and "self-compassion" modules. These are all evidence-based programmes for behaviour change and better mood, and I know a lot of people who have had great success with them.
Financial friction mechanisms might offer an ADDITIONAL obstacle, but it won't solve your deeper problem.

@Badgertadger

Thank you, my bank is aware now, but yes it is very useful information for people who might not be aware.

@LemonLemonLemon Yep a friend is looking after a card etc, but I keep cheating. I ask him to send money over for what I need plus a bit for a takeaway too.

@Sobeyondthehills I have bipolar but also something like ADHD too so some of the impulse control stuff is more persistent, though less intense. I find that if you buy something it's easier to cancel it or whatever nowadays than it might've been in the past, if you say you bouught it as a result of a disability. Companies are more woke/aware/conscious that they could easily look bad on social media for something than they were in the past.

@Graphista I wouldn't say I have a spending addiction as such- am sending some money to a savings account regularly now. It's more that I have compulsions around food and alcohol. But am thinking I must be able to get some strategies to work, and maybe practical would be some of the easiest- limit how easy it is to buy stuff etc. I've had a lot of therapy in general and had hypnotherapy for food, but wasn't impressed with that. Am on the list for a CBT group for food issues.

@Badgertadger @FastFood @Zealois Oooh, I'll look into those, thanks.

@suspiria777 Fab, will look. I think part of it is like I get cravings that are hard to resist. When I wasn't cheating and gettiing my friend to send money over, or doing the daily 'overdraft tenner' thing, I somehow managed for a few days/week to think that I couldn't get the takeaways etc. If it was no longer an option, the craving passed more quickly if you see what I mean, because I just thought 'oh well, I can't do that' and did something else/ate something healthier instead. I wouldn't 100% deprive myself of treats of course, but would like to have a takeaway once a week rather than three times a week or something.

That sounds really hard. I have ocd myself so my spending on cleaning products is INSANE! But it's tied into the ocd. Eg today 10 x disinfectant in grocery delivery.

They were impossible to get hold of during lockdown/the supermarket panic and that made things really hard for me ocd wise so I'm kinda paranoid if stocks get low now.

I wish I wasn't like it cos it'd save me a fortune!!

So I totally sympathise.

Oh no 😪. Sorry to hear that, that must be really anxiety provoking 😪 You probably have better cholesterol etc than me. But maybe a bit more dermatitis. X