I asked partner not to eat a snack

[Ilovesleeeeep]

DD 2yrs is a picky eater and very often doesn't eat much at mealtimes, however tonight she was at the table eating well and tucking into her veg.
Partner comes in from work sees her eating as the table is right next to the door and goes straight to the kitchen and comes out with a big bag of crisps (dd's favourite food) I say to him please don't let her see those as she will want them and she's nearly finished eating her veg, he completely ignores me and sits down opens them and of course she jumps down from the table and goes to him for crisps.
I'll admit I was annoyed so I snapped could you not have just waited until she was done as it was obvious she was going to want them, he flew off the handle threw a few f's at me and stomped out of the house.

I know if we discuss this later he will say he's an adult he can eat when he likes and she is a child and should do as she's told and eat her dinner and not expect the crisps but she's 2 and doesn't listen to reason at the best of times!

Maybe I'm completely wrong though, was I being unreasonable to ask him to wait 5 mins until she finished? FWIW the first time I said something I asked nicely!

Ughh. I'm guessing he's not responsible for her eating and vegetable intake and that's up to you?

Manchild needs to come home and have his snack.

Don't back down when he comes back tell him you think he is selfish, rude and childish and he can stay out of your sight until he apologises.

What a vile man.

As a mum your job is to protect your child, from immediate issues like swearing or verbal abuse, but just as importantly as you've rightly brought up, non-immediate threats like bad eating habits.

Don't surround her with bad influences.

Please keep that man child away from her.

This sound exactly the type of thing my partner would do. Selfish and child like. That would have really annoyed me too especially as my children are fussy eaters. Before now he’s walked in whilst they are eating and shown them the treats he has bought them, obviously they then want them straight away. Tell him to F off and don’t start trying to accommodate him, he’s a selfish twat and you don’t deserve to be screamed at. I am actually angry on your behalf! 😆

You weren't being unreasonable; he was a dick. Is he usually such a hindrance?

@mynameiscalypso exactly my thinking! I am guilty of wanting a snack when I dont want her to see me eating it so I snaffle something quickly in the kitchen, i wouldn't dream of walking in with it while she's eating a meal!
@scrollingleaves I completely understand he prob was starving after coming in from work but for the sake of literally 5 mins he could have eaten whatever he wanted or eaten in the kitchen. He is the first to complain about her eating and should be on board with whatever it takes for her to eat a healthy meal.

@girlmom21

He's a twat for:

• not thinking sensibly
• ignoring you
• swearing at you
• swearing in front of your child
• storming out

This ^

Ugh he sounds like a twat. What are his redeeming qualities?

Someone telling you to fuck off in front of your child is really grim.

“scrollingleaves I completely understand he prob was starving after coming in from work but for the sake of literally 5 mins he could have eaten whatever he wanted or eaten in the kitchen. He is the first to complain about her eating and should be on board with whatever it takes for her to eat a healthy meal.“

Of course he could have waited or hidden
It. It was utterly not only thoughtless but passive aggressive to eat in front of dd and to to ignore your request.

I was sort of trying to look for a reason why he behaved so nastily with all that swearing - was it ‘hangriness’ or a permanently deeply unpleasant character?

YADNBU

Just to add to what everyone else had said "he's an adult he can eat when he likes and she is a child and should do as she's told” is not a reason. It's a controlling power play. Much like the rest of his behaviour.

My partner has always done this and I've always hated it. He drinks Pepsi and eats crisps at inappropriate times and dd wondered why she couldn't have them right before bed. She is 10 now and just rolls her eyes at him and his bad habits haven't rubbed off. I wish I'd managed to stop it when she was younger.

YANBU, My DH has tried similar when our toddler was eating his tea, but when him not to, he did the hide in the other room and eat them thing.
He annoys me in other ways though, like I’ll be cooking tea and he’ll eat 2 bags of crisps beforehand or try and give the toddler chocolate before bed. I made him do bed time for that, and he’s never done that again!