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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Just been pinged. Should I tell the parents of DD's friend?

19 replies

cheeseismydownfall · 22/07/2021 19:41

Took DD and a friend to the theatre on Tuesday night. I've just been pinged and the Exposure Date is Tuesday - I'm 99% certain the contact would be from there; it was busy, and I didn't do anything else at all that day.

DD and her friend are in primary school so obviously the friend doesn't have a phone with the app on herself.

Should I tell her parents that I/we have been exposed? My initial thought was yes, obviously, but then I questioned myself about burdening them with that information on the last day of term, given that having the app in the first place is entirely discretionary and if I hadn't have had it we would all be none the wiser.

I don't know the friend's parents well and don't know if they have anyone vulnerable in their family (although they didn't question the trip at all, or ask about precautions etc so I assume not). I also don't know if they are going on holiday next week.

Would you want to know?

YABU - Don't spoil the beginning of their school holiday by giving them this to worry about

YANBU - The parents should be told so that they can make their own decision about what to do

OP posts:
RuggerHug · 22/07/2021 19:49

Tell them. What they do with that information is up to them.

itsgettingwierd · 22/07/2021 19:58

It's an app ping.

Isolation is advisory only.

Tell them you've been pinged from Tuesday contact. Guide them towards the information and let them decide what to do.

HasaDigaEebowai · 22/07/2021 19:59

Yes of course you do

FuckingHateRats · 22/07/2021 19:59

Tell them and let them decide for themselves.

MrsTulipTattsyrup · 22/07/2021 20:00

Of course you tell them. You can’t dictate what they do with that knowledge, but you don’t have the right to keep them in the dark. They might be planning seeing a vulnerable family member at the weekend, and they need to be in a position of information.

FionnulaTheCooler · 22/07/2021 20:01

What was the distancing like in the theatre, were individual "bubbles" spaced out, or was every seat taken so you'd have been right next to someone for the whole show?

Wynston · 22/07/2021 20:01

If it were me I would like to know.

Dementedswan · 22/07/2021 20:01

I'd tell them and let them decide what to do. The ping could have come from someone sat next to you or just in the same venue but nowhere near. I would want to be informed, even if its just so I could be extra vigilant for any symptoms and to do regular lifts to protect vulnerable family members.

Crowtooyo · 22/07/2021 20:01

Definitely tell them.

Nuggetnugget · 22/07/2021 20:02

You are being kind in your thought process but I would tell them

DufferMum · 22/07/2021 20:05

Forget it, I would.. then turn off that bloody App.

chunderwunder · 22/07/2021 20:11

I think it's useful to put the other child's parent in your place in a thought experiment.

Either they'd have the app and been pinged on which case you're effectively keeping information they'd presumably like to know from them.

Or they wouldn't have the app in which case they're free to take your information and choose to change nothing about their plans.

So tell them. Literally no bad outcome for you.

Original poster
cheeseismydownfall · 22/07/2021 20:18

@FionnulaTheCooler

What was the distancing like in the theatre, were individual "bubbles" spaced out, or was every seat taken so you'd have been right next to someone for the whole show?
Nope, no distancing. Probably about two thirds capacity and about half the audience was wearing masks.

I did feel a bit uncomfortable, it was the first time in 18 months I have been anywhere with people gathering like that.

Anyway, thank you all for the advice, I will let them know. I stupidly feel really guilty about it because it was my suggestion that we take her (we had a spare ticket).

OP posts:
omgthepain · 22/07/2021 20:19

Yes tell them and let them make the decision

TSSDNCOP · 22/07/2021 20:24

app or T&t?

App, tell them and do nothing else. You could've been on the other side of the theatre.

T&t you're all SI. Bad luck.

crosstalk · 22/07/2021 20:26

Tell them and flow test. Then you can also tell the the result,

Original poster
cheeseismydownfall · 22/07/2021 20:32

@TSSDNCOP

app or T&t?

App, tell them and do nothing else. You could've been on the other side of the theatre.

T&t you're all SI. Bad luck.

App.

I will start testing daily but as contact was less than 48 hours ago I doubt I would get a positive result for a few days even if I have been infected.

OP posts:
sparepantsandtoothbrush · 22/07/2021 20:52

Are you isolating your DD? I think I'd be inclined to tell them

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 22/07/2021 20:53

You've got to tell them and it's upto them what they do with that. They might be planning to see a vulnerable person etc

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