Please bare with me while I write this.
Been married for 4 years, together for 6.
I have 2 dc from previous and he has 2 also. We have one ds together so 5 kids in total.
Dh has been through hell in his life and continues to do so. As a child, he found out his dad wasn't his actual birth dad. He his minimal contact with his birth dad as his dad just isn't bothered.
The man who brought him up and who dh considers to be dad committed suicide 10 years ago. I never met him but dh thought the world of him. However, with the stories I've heard, he was not a nice man and caused nothing but confusion and control for my dh. He was also violent towards his mum. Dh siblings all washed their hands with him but Dh continued to have a relationship with him up until his death.
All this resulted in a gambling addiction for Dh. He was terrible before I met him. But now he still gambles every day. We are relatively comfortable but financially and he doesn't put us at risk with it but he cannot go a day without doing it. He promises me every single day he will stop but he doesnt.
A few years ago, Dh was also diagnosed with a rare type of arthritis. He's still in his 30's and suffers a great deal.
Writing this now I feel terrible.
But I've had enough. He gets so stressed and is constantly going on at me. He shows me zero love and affection. Like I said already, gambles every single day and promises he will stop every single day. I feel
Like an absolute mug.
He doesn't help with childcare, always snaps at the kids. I do everything for my step children but I feel he doesn't treat my children fairly at all.
He works hard, is self employed which brings added stress. Constant stress. Nothing is ever just normal. There's always something.
He won't look after himself. He's a good looking guy and not over weight but he eats all the wrong foods which don't help with his arthritis at all. He starts and stops his meds constantly as he feels they don't work but he doesn't give them a chance. I've bought him all sorts of remedies to try help with the pain but he uses it once, says it doesn't work and that's it. He just expects me to feel sorry for him all the time but he does absolutely nothing to help himself.
I've told him he needs counselling for his childhood. He does. 100000000% but he refuses to go.
I just feel so unloved and taken for an absolute mug.
But if I leave....I'm scared he will do exactly what his father did as he just won't cope on his own.
Advice please? I'm at such a low point. Yesterday morning he told me he promised he would stop gambling. Last night, he came in from work and said he would have one last go (this is a daily thing) and then delete the app. He hasn't deleted the app and I'm waiting for him to just to do it again.
Like I say, financially we are fine. He doesn't go over board but I'm so fed up of false promises