NC.
I had a very good friend when I was living in Manchester. Very forthright and "no filter", very direct and honest.
I left Manchester to go and live with my German DP in Germany and things went downhill. I'll spare you the details but it became abusive and I was very isolated. I missed Manchester a lot and although I went back to visit in the first year, in the last three years it became harder to go back just because I was so sad to see what I was missing.
I kept in touch with some of my Manchester friends but not this one. The reason was it was harder to pretend everything was okay with her. She asked very probing questions and was direct in the first year about telling me to get out of it and come home. Gradually I let contact with her fade because it was too hard to hear and accept and I knew she wouldnt drop it.
Inevitably now four years after o first moved away I have come to terms with the fact that I need to come home. I'm going to manchester tomorrow and I dont know whether I should text her or leave it. Part of me knows she will be happy to hear from me and see me but part of me wonders whether she will find it insulting and galling.
I have missed her over these years but if the right thing to do is to just leave her be then I will do that. I hurt her, I know that.
What should I do? YANBU = text her, YABU = leave her alone.