Dating whilst living in a housing association flat

[FirstStarToTheRight]

I have just come out of a situation dating someone who has a high earning highfalutin job… the flat is quite new and quite nice, it happens to be in a central area, so I think she assumed I must be quite minted when she saw it… then as we were getting to know each other, she got on her soap box about her disapproval of people who live in council housing .

I was quite taken aback. So I explained the flat she was currently in with me that she happened to be enjoying also happened to be housing association… from there she began to comment on the appearance of my neighbours and that a lot of them happened to be ethnic minorities (very nice neighbours though in my experience).

It wasn’t very long after that she dropped me like a hot potato.

Now I am seeing someone new again, we are getting on so well, however she’s very middleclass, and she also happens to assume I’m rather minted to live so centrally.

I want to mention how I came by this flat but feel rather nervous now, I don’t want the same thing to happen again, neither do I want anyone to assume I’m minted or I’ve not been clear about my circumstances from day one… is this unreasonable?

You're well out of it, what a revolting person. Nobody has ever asked me if I own this place, a period property in an upscale town, because I obviously don't

I'd use this as a good test to weed out the dickheads. A secure HA tenancy in a decent property/ area is something to treasure, not look down on.

Can you buy it from the ha cheap? If so do so as you will get loads back?

@Christmasfairy2020

Can you buy it from the ha cheap? If so do so as you will get loads back?

It’s not on the right to buy scheme, and even if it were, I couldn’t afford to buy it.

I think you are fine renting for now.

Do you have a decent job with career progression (not asking for details) ? That's more important than where you live. At least you are not still at home with mum and dad.

I'd definitely change the 'catch' if I were you. Throw these kind of people back in the sea! Are you normally attracted to middle class women OP?

@bebarkered

I'd definitely change the 'catch' if I were you. Throw these kind of people back in the sea! Are you normally attracted to middle class women OP?

Always. I don’t know why.

I've said yabu not in holding back because you want to - its up to you- but because of what others may think. If anything this is a good way to drop the awful ignorant types quickly before you waste time. FWIW some of us couldn't care less where you're from or what you do if we like you :)

@Newmumatlast

I've said yabu not in holding back because you want to - its up to you- but because of what others may think. If anything this is a good way to drop the awful ignorant types quickly before you waste time. FWIW some of us couldn't care less where you're from or what you do if we like you :)

That’s just what I needed to be reminded of, thank you.

I have recently bought an expensive house and my experience is the opposite.

People assume becoase I am a single female that I have either recently divorced a rich man or mummy and daddy bought it.

The estate agent who showed me the house even made it clear she thought I couldn’t afford it.

It’s a sexist world. People assume that because you are a man you must have a great job that pays for the fancy flat, but few people assume that I, as a woman, have a big job and can buy my own house🙁.

The right person will come along for you who isn’t just dating you for he money they assume your have.

Tell right away. That way you won't waste any time dating snobs and racists.

I’d say right away, to weed out the gold diggers. I inherited my house from my mum, and I was shocked at first when I saw men’s eyes light up if it came up that I don’t have a mortgage.

Plenty of middle class women and men live in rented accommodation. For all we know, the op may be categorised as middle class. It takes time to buy a property nowadays.

You've just been unlucky with your previous girlfriend. There are plenty more fish in the sea.

I want to mention how I came by this flat but feel rather nervous now, I don’t want the same thing to happen again, neither do I want anyone to assume I’m minted or I’ve not been clear about my circumstances from day one… is this unreasonable?

Well, I'd say it's certainly a way of getting rid of those who really prioritise money/status over all else.

@Ideasplease322

I have recently bought an expensive house and my experience is the opposite.

People assume becoase I am a single female that I have either recently divorced a rich man or mummy and daddy bought it.

The estate agent who showed me the house even made it clear she thought I couldn’t afford it.

It’s a sexist world. People assume that because you are a man you must have a great job that pays for the fancy flat, but few people assume that I, as a woman, have a big job and can buy my own house🙁.

The right person will come along for you who isn’t just dating you for he money they assume your have.

It’s a sad that it wasn’t just the men who made these sexist assumptions.

I’m a woman myself by the way.

Ops sorry - I made a stupid assumption there OP. And there is me bitching about everyone else.

Sorry

Op, I'm sorry but I thought you were a man. How silly.