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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be looking forward to moving back to the UK but to have no clue where to move to?

63 replies

BellaAnna · 22/07/2021 02:57

Hi all!

We are a British family, with two kids, we have lived abroad in Asia for almost ten years, and it looks like we’ll be moving back home to the UK next summer (2022). After having not been home for 2 years thanks to COVID, we’re looking forward to it so much!

But.

I’m from the Home Counties originally, and we lived in the Midlands for almost ten years before moving abroad. I don’t feel any strong pull to go back to either of those areas, and I’m so lost as to where to focus my search for a new home! It’s likely that we’ll be able to work remotely, so we could live literally anywhere in the UK, which is great in terms of property prices, but having that much choice is absolutely paralyzing to me. We don’t have any family ties to any particular area, and our friends are spread over the southern half of the UK... where do I start?!

I’ve never been a parent in the UK, and although I have a 9 and a 6 year old now, it’s been 30 years since I was at school. I’ve no idea where to start with choosing schools, and access to good quality education would be a real priority for us ... my kids are currently at an academically rigorous international school where they’re pushed harder than they would be back home (I think), and they’re performing 1-2 years ahead of age expectations. We’d hate to lose that advantage...

I’m looking for a city or area in England from the Midlands to the south coast where there are great schools (grammar schools if possible), good public transport for my future teenagers to be able to get out and about easily without me having to drive them everywhere, access to nature and green space/countryside walks for dogs (we’re living in a huge city right now and I hate it so much... oh for the green fields of home), and property prices that aren’t so crazy that we’d have to live in a shoebox.

Does such a place exist?

I have to rule out the Home Counties / Surrey / anywhere commutable for London because of house prices I think. Right? What about Bristol or surrounding areas? Exeter? Somerset?

Anyone made a similar move home after a long time abroad and has any tips?

OP posts:
SqueakyPeaks · 22/07/2021 03:02

Oh I'd suggest Stroud. The Cotswolds is a gorgeous area and there are some great schools in the region.

DaisyKate265 · 22/07/2021 03:03

In and around South Birmingham

DaisyKate265 · 22/07/2021 03:05

Worcester
Leamington

fourminutestosavetheworld · 22/07/2021 03:15

If grammar schools are important to you then that narrows your search considerably. List and map of grammar LEAs here. Once you've ruled out those too far North due to proximity to your friends and family, and those in the South East due to house prices, there aren't very many places left. Presumably you could further narrow based on geography - proximity to city, proximity to coast etc as per your own preferences.

fourminutestosavetheworld · 22/07/2021 03:18

Sorry I don't think my link has worked, hoping the map loads.

to be looking forward to moving back to the UK but to have no clue where to move to?
Mrstherockjohnson · 22/07/2021 04:20

Cheltenham or Stroud

ragged · 22/07/2021 04:52

What is your budget for buying property, OP, and how big a property do you want -- would a 3 bed semi be plenty big enough?

MyOtherProfile · 22/07/2021 05:02

@ragged

What is your budget for buying property, OP, and how big a property do you want -- would a 3 bed semi be plenty big enough?
This. Is there really nobody you would like to live within coffee and catch up distance of? I lived abroad for more than 10 years and moved back to an area I didn't know - it was tough but having kids really helped make friends and break the ice. I struggled not having anyone at all I knew in the area though.
Oblomov21 · 22/07/2021 05:05

I agree, deciding on school first, finding good schools, will limit. There aren't that many grammars. And they are fiercely competitive.

CrumpetyTea · 22/07/2021 05:06

You do need to think about whether you are always going to be able to work remotely- there seems to be a lot of threads around where people thoughts this and now having to go into the office.
I can see the pull of grammar schools but a lot of grammar school ares are hugely competitive and parents tutor extensively (even on top of private primary schools) to get their children in)- so you may need to consider whether you would want to do this

ragged · 22/07/2021 05:08

there's work, too, not all areas have all kinds of same employment opportunities.

I thought Cotswolds were expensive place to live, for property,

-- not true?

ivykaty44 · 22/07/2021 05:37

Leaning was suggested up thread, nice place to live but it’s not a city

Oxford maybe
Bath, nice places surrounding countryside

Are you definitely after a city?

HelenHywater · 22/07/2021 05:38

Your future teenagers would thank you for living in a city - think London, Brighton, Bristol, Liverpool, Leeds etc (I'm hazy on Northern Cities).

I'd base your search on where you need to be to work. Where do you have families or friends who you might want to visit/be close?

But I'd go for a city over rural living with teens any day.

katscamel · 22/07/2021 05:41

Can't really recommend anywhere....parts of Kent are still affordable though and have grammar schools (that aren't highly competitive and where parents dont pay for extra tuition).
As someone who recently moved back, good luck. It can actually be far more difficult to get used to UK life than you'd think.

Imapotato · 22/07/2021 07:36

Exeter is nice and has some grammar schools. Bristol would be a great city, but house prices are pretty high, not London high, but high for the south west. Southampton might fit. Big enough city, but by the cost and the new forest.

pisspants · 22/07/2021 07:49

What's your budget op and what is the minimum you are looking for in a house? Is difficult without knowing that but Salisbury could meet a lot of your requirements- it's a nice safe little city with quite a bit going on but is still viable if need to get to London. It has grammars and good primary schooling too and house prices are quite good as well.

Izzwizzo · 22/07/2021 07:55

@pisspants

What's your budget op and what is the minimum you are looking for in a house? Is difficult without knowing that but Salisbury could meet a lot of your requirements- it's a nice safe little city with quite a bit going on but is still viable if need to get to London. It has grammars and good primary schooling too and house prices are quite good as well.
I was just about to suggest Salisbury as well. Small city with good primary and secondary schools including grammar schools. Close to larger places such as Bath, Bournemouth and Southampton with good bus routes to these places. Huge amount of green space and little villages nearby if you want to be more rural. Train station with direct trains to London and the New Forest and Coast are also close. House prices are pretty reasonable too Smile
Ekofisk · 22/07/2021 08:08

Winchester is always a popular suggestion because the state schools are all very good, you can get the train into London, it’s a lovely small city etc. Downside is house prices.

ShanghaiDiva · 22/07/2021 08:17

Exeter.
Colyton grammar has an excellent reputation and the private schools in Exeter eg Maynard (girls only) and Exeter school (coed) have excellent reputations and are, I believe, cheaper than private schools in south east.
Exeter has the advantage of being close to the beach and countryside (Dartmoor) and decent train and bus connections.

Sparklingbrook · 22/07/2021 08:18

Worcester
Cheltenham
Bath

ShanghaiDiva · 22/07/2021 08:23

I moved back to the uk last year after 25 years overseas and faced a similar dilemma. Feel free to message me.

Adreinnesarmy · 22/07/2021 08:25

We lived in the Middle East for four years and found it easier to “sell” the idea of leaving the lifestyle and their friends to our young children with the promise of a coastal move and regular holidays. We looked all over the South Coast and eventually chose Folkestone as it was really vibrant with loads for families to do, great links to family and work opportunities / social life in London (less than an hour), beautiful period housing stock (at affordable prices compared to London / Brighton) and the icing on the cake was the ease of access to the Channel Tunnel which meant that pre covid we could have regular weekends / mini breaks in all over Europe. Been here three years now and can honestly say it is the best move we have ever made and we are so thrilled we stuck our pin in this part of the map.

Adreinnesarmy · 22/07/2021 08:31

Also all of ours got into the local grammars easily and we are really happy with them after most of their education being in International Pre Preps/Prep. One benefit of being so close to the sea is that half the catchment for them is in the Channel (!) so the competition isn’t as anywhere near as fierce as some of the other areas we looked at. Plus coastal living means they have access to sailing, rowing, paddleboarding which was another plus point for our children.

LizardCreature · 22/07/2021 08:32

God, does the south and particularly the south coast really need any more people in it?
This is an island nation. There are beaches and sea all over the place, the vast majority much nicer than what you'll find in the south. If location is no object I really dont know why you would move to the most crowded and expensive part of the country.

KarmaStar · 22/07/2021 08:34

Bournemouth,you've got the sea,beaches,city,the new forest .
Bath is stunning.