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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Was this sexist?

16 replies

WasThisSexist · 21/07/2021 19:30

Working with a senior male colleague today, on Zoom. We have a limited amount of time to interview a client and gain specific information. We both need airtime to get the right insights. The output of our work will be 75% my responsibility and 25% his due to our different specialisms. I’d be happy with roughly 50/50 air time but he consistently dominates and on this occasion allows me about 15 minutes at the end to speak. I’m sick of this pattern but have to defer due to his seniority.

In addition to this, we took a brief comfort break and I arrived back seconds after him and the (male) client. Before I switch my camera back on I hear him joking with the client that the reason I’m not back as soon as them is because women take longer to go to the toilet. I then have to come back online and am allowed my allotted 15 mins of talking time. I’m lucky if he doesn’t interrupt ‘my’ time as well.

My AIBU is: would you have found the toilet remark sexist and undermining in front of the client?

YABU: No, it was no big deal
YANBU: Yep, everyday sexism in action

NB There is a much bigger backdrop here because I am currently working my notice period due to the culture of this firm. I have been a consistently high performer but am sick of the bullying culture, some of which has been overtly gendered. I’m currently having counselling to help rebuild my self esteem before going to a new job after the summer. So my reactions to lower level stuff might be heightened because I am way past the point of no return here.

OP posts:
WasThisSexist · 21/07/2021 19:32

Ugh, how do I enable voting?!

OP posts:
KaptainKaveman · 21/07/2021 19:35

He sounds like an utter twat. Good luck in your new job!

ItsVousNotMoi · 21/07/2021 19:36

Yep. Sexist pigs. Lucky you are leaving🙂

RobynNora · 21/07/2021 19:37

Yup sexist. Sorry you have to deal with that.

WasThisSexist · 21/07/2021 19:49

Wow, feeling better already...!

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Whiskycav · 21/07/2021 19:53

Yeah sexist. Trying to bond with the other man by making crap jokes about women.

The interrupting is shit as well. Though some people just interrupt everyone. But there's plenty if men who only interrupt women.

All tossers.

Undersnatch · 21/07/2021 21:39

Total bullshit, sorry you had to deal with it Sad

Thelnebriati · 21/07/2021 22:02

YANBU and until men start calling these types of comments out there'll be no end to it.

BigasdaB · 21/07/2021 22:04

Eugh, sexist bullshit that gets put down to ‘banter’

Dutch1e · 21/07/2021 22:09

Definitely everyday sexism. And I'd restart my 15 mins every time the little fucker interrupted.

RobynNora · 21/07/2021 22:14

I don’t know how to use quotes here but that quote from @Dutch1e made me chortle so loudly I nearly woke my baby! Hell yes yeah!

Sparklfairy · 21/07/2021 22:14

That would frustrate me no end as I wouldn't be able to 'banter' back due to his seniority Angry

"Well of course women take longer, because we bother to wash our hands."

I'm so glad I'm self employed. I'd never last long in a job like that.

Dutch1e · 21/07/2021 22:23

@RobynNora

I don’t know how to use quotes here but that quote from *@Dutch1e* made me chortle so loudly I nearly woke my baby! Hell yes yeah!
Sorry to the bubs 😁
WasThisSexist · 21/07/2021 22:52

Ugh, thank god for this thread! Thank you all for confirming I’m not overthinking it and for giving me some laughs.

@Sparklfairy you’ll be pleased to know that I did ‘banter’ back a bit. Switched my camera back on and announced that I would gloss over the inappropriate comment I’d just overheard and move onto what we were all there for... I am in my notice period, after all!

OP posts:
Sparklfairy · 21/07/2021 23:55

@WasThisSexist I'm glad you managed to get that little gem in Grin

WasThisSexist · 22/07/2021 15:29

FFS, more of the same bullshit from the same man today. Counting the hours til I am gone... and reminding myself that there are better places to work where women actually get to speak!

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