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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to report this to the police?

36 replies

iortn · 21/07/2021 16:16

my son finished school today, he's 15. When he got back he had a cut on his face and on his lip, his t-shirt was also very dirty. I asked him what happened and he said he was walking with his friend and 2 boys (one in his year and one in year 12, they're brothers) were being inappropriate and whistling at his friend, DS asked them to stop as it was making his friend uncomfortable, the boys then shouted something like ‘come here and fight us then’ DS told them he didn't want a fight but The older one went over and dragged him by his t-shirt and they punched him a few times and pushed him to the floor and told him he deserved it for his attitude towards them. It doesn't sound like DS has done anything to them though! DP (not his father) has told me not to report it to the police and to leave it but I'm not sure if I should or not!

WIBU?

OP posts:
Ahwelltoobad · 21/07/2021 16:18

I understand he may not want you to, but I think you should.

DancesWithTortoises · 21/07/2021 16:20

Another vote for police.

iknowimcoming · 21/07/2021 16:22

I'd call the school and tell them too

PumpkinPie2016 · 21/07/2021 16:24

Definitely report to the police!

I hope your ds is okFlowers

Frazzledd · 21/07/2021 16:24

Sorry this happened OP- how does your son feel? What does he want to do about it?

Hankunamatata · 21/07/2021 16:25

Get onto to the school. Get son to write down exactly what happened. And I'd ring non emergency police number and report IF ds wants to do that

DoubleTweenQueen · 21/07/2021 16:33

@iortn Definitely school, but would be surprised if they were interested as off school grounds?
I would get out of hours police advice, at least.

Disgusting - comments, followed by assault when called out. Wonder if their parents would be bothered to know? Hmm

warmandtoasty2day · 21/07/2021 16:38

Ignore 'd'p for being a wimp he can jog on. This is about your son, go to the police and name these little shits.
I would also inform school too, not on their grounds but to give them a heads up that there has been a problem with these kids, so they can keep a check on it during school time.

vivainsomnia · 21/07/2021 16:41

Be prepared that these boys account of the story might be different, especially if your DS doesn't want the police involved. Are there any witnesses?

OneTC · 21/07/2021 16:43

Do what your kid wants. He's the one who has to live with it day to day

I would pursue it with the school personally

Biancadelrioisback · 21/07/2021 16:44

The only thing that would give me pause for thought would be the repercussions for your DS as they boys will know who reported them and their paths will cross again next year when school starts and they may possibly live locally? You could end up with teenagers targeting your house with pranks or damage and without evidence it's them you wouldn't really be able to do anything...

That said, I detest that sort of behaviour and I do believe they should face repercussions. Your DS should NOT be beaten up for defending his friend...or for any reason!

Original poster
iortn · 21/07/2021 17:04

DS doesn't know if he wants to report it as he thinks they'll make up a lie so he wouldn't be believed. The girl was there and she told them to leave him alone but they obviously ignored her.

OP posts:
MotionActivatedDog · 21/07/2021 17:10

Report to school and police. It’s assault.

Original poster
iortn · 21/07/2021 17:14

I would've reported it to the school any other time but today was the last day of term.

OP posts:
Cottonheadedninymuggins · 21/07/2021 17:22

Year 12 is 16-17, (as is 15 tbf) old enough to know better and deserves the sharp shock of a police officer visiting him and his little brother at the very least!

Pretzelcoatl · 21/07/2021 17:44

Your DS should ultimately be the one to decide how things proceed. I can remember being that age and the retaliation that came from reporting things sometimes. He’ll have to live with the consequences, and he will be a better judge of the nature of the guy(s) who hit him and what they, or others, will subsequently do.

MadMadMadamMim · 21/07/2021 17:47

Police.

Tell your DS that thugs like this lad rely on getting away with shit like this because they think people won't want to report it.

Tell him that the police calling round to say there has been a complaint about him might at least make him think twice the next time he thinks he'll punch someone younger and get away with it.

squiglet111 · 21/07/2021 17:49

So the boy was sexually harrassing your son's friend and your son told them to leave her alone and the boy ended up hurting your ds? If this is the case you should report to the school the sexual harrassment and what happened to your son for stepping in. The school need to sort this out as Ofsted wouldn't be impressed about this incident. School need to be teaching boys not to be sexist etc so the school need to deal with it.

0None0 · 21/07/2021 17:51

@OneTC

Do what your kid wants. He's the one who has to live with it day to day

I would pursue it with the school personally

Why. It’s nothing what do ever to do with the school.

Another vote for the police, if your ds is telling the full truth, definitely

0None0 · 21/07/2021 17:51

@squiglet111

So the boy was sexually harrassing your son's friend and your son told them to leave her alone and the boy ended up hurting your ds? If this is the case you should report to the school the sexual harrassment and what happened to your son for stepping in. The school need to sort this out as Ofsted wouldn't be impressed about this incident. School need to be teaching boys not to be sexist etc so the school need to deal with it.
Excuse me, schools are NOT law enforcement agencies.

Police matter

squiglet111 · 21/07/2021 17:57

Yes definitely. But the school should know to be able to deal with the students from their school.

Being a teacher I know that schools should take this seriously.....

Bananarice · 22/07/2021 05:03

I would follow my ds lead, after I explained everything to him.

itsgettingwierd · 22/07/2021 05:10

@iortn

I would've reported it to the school any other time but today was the last day of term.
Most schools don't finish until Friday as these last 2 are insets.

Even so someone should pick up an email etc.

hawkehurstgang · 22/07/2021 05:50

I would report to the school and to the police and really press them, sexual harrassment and assault are no minor issues and these kids need to learn that now. You will be setting a fantastic example to your son and his friend as well.

Tossblanket · 22/07/2021 06:42

Feel free to report anything but little if any time will be given to it.

Imagine police attended every playground scuffle.

It's a school matter and a teaching your son boxing matter.