Colleague Humming

[MrsWarleggan]

Posted here for traffic.

I can't handle it any longer! My colleague is a constant hummer. Unless she's talking and as soon as she stops talking, it's starts again immediately.

Often no tune, or noticeable song. Just humming.

I have done the right thing and spoken to my manager who has in turn spoken to her and she just said it's an anxiety thing and that she's always done it and she won't stop. My manager has offered support for her anxiety through work with different coping methods, but colleague said she doesn't think it's an issue and has refused.

It's like sensory torture. I'm currently sitting on my own outside at lunch and am in tears. I can't go back in the office. I've tried blocking it out but I can't. It's almost getting to the point that I want to leave my job.

AIBU?

I just re read my post and it says i only did 5 years and changed jobs, it was actually 5 days...............................

@CremeEggThief

YABU. That's her coping strategy obviously. You need to work on finding your coping strategies to deal with it as your reaction is out of proportion.

Totally disagree. My dad does it and my mum despairs as they are together all the time. He now has Alzheimers so will never get better.

There's no love involved with a colleague so it's normal to be less tolerant. She won't change her behaviour as she chooses not to. Why should that be tolerated while other people suffer?

Sounds horrendous. Your manager needs to challenge this far more robustly.

Please educate yourself.

Give over!

@MrsWarleggan
Have you seen those Flair Audio earbuds advertised?
They are neat little things that sit just inside the ear and don't stop noise but they block triggering frequencies.
Loads of great reviews from people with aversions to noise etc.

Can you just Chuck at stapler at her?

Of course that was LH and I really for you. I have a hatred for certain sounds and bumming is one.

Can you put head phones in OP or WFH?

Oooerrr I meant HUMMING.

I had a colleague who hummed or whispered during meetings and just for a couple of hours and I would be ready to murder her so I can imagine how upset you are.

The business needs to sort it out as it is really affecting you. Her anxiety and need to hum does not trump your need for her to stop. I would tell them straight that it stops or I look for another job.

@CremeEggThief

YABU. That's her coping strategy obviously. You need to work on finding your coping strategies to deal with it as your reaction is out of proportion.

Suggest you get a trombone as a coping strategy OP. Could become quite a chilled office, your other colleague could accompany on the drums. As long as you call it your 'coping strategy' you will be fine.

The employer has a duty to make reasonable adjustments to account for disabilities etc. Is this humming part of a disability? Does the employer know about that? What would a reasonable adjustment for the humming employee look like?

Now how does that adjustment look for all other employees? What is the impact on them? Should they just "put up and shut up" or is the anxiety that the humming induces now something that itself needs to have a reasonable adjustment made for it?

There is balance somewhere, but it should never ever involve multiple members of staff having to "shut up" because one person needs a reasonable adjustment.

This isn't normal shared office noise, this sounds like a massive issue for a number of people.

Completely agree you have to be very clear with your manager that it has become intolerable and something must be done. It's a tricky situation as the woman likely doesn't even know when she's doing it and probably couldn't stop if she wanted to. However that's not your problem and they'll have to find a solution which works. Even having to listen to music all the time would drive me nuts.

Never experienced this but I assume it is highly annoying. I cannot STAND the sound of people chewing chewing gum, it absolutely goes through me and makes me angry (my mum in particular is a loud, sloppy chewer and I have to ask her politely not to have chewing gum when she's with me). It's mortifying.
Only thing I can suggest OP is keep getting onto the manager, or get earphones.

Misophonia is REAL!
I feel for you, OP. I work with:
Mr Running Commentary - nobody cares; shut up
Mr Oof/Argh - every time he moves in his seat
Mr Whistling Twat - no, you can't whistle, it sounds crap and several of us would like to stab you with a pen
Mr Slurpy Crunch Crunch - eat your bloody breakfast AT HOME instead of in the office
Mr Drone - the most boring voice ever, loud
I could go on....sometimes I have to just go for a walk. Earbuds help. WFH has brought considerable relief. I do have ASD so I don't necessarily process repetitive sounds in the same way as others, but sometimes it's just that they're inconsiderate.