to ask if you regret getting a phone for your child?

[Spearshake]

My son will be starting secondary school in September and is desperate for his own phone. When we ask him why he needs a phone, he says it would be to keep in touch with us, in case he needs a lift from school, but the reality is that he wants to WhatsApp his friends, which I totally get. I'm just worried that it's going to be free rein for him to be on his phone the whole time. It's already a struggle to limit his screen time on tablets/computers so do I want to add another element to this?? A lot of people I speak to say they regret getting a phone for their child and/or wish they'd established some ground rules earlier. Any pearls of wisdom?

I got my DS a phone on his 11th birthday in March. The novelty of texting friends wore off after a month or two and now he literally only uses it to play on a game every so often. I like the fact he has it for secondary school because he’ll be getting a bus home and I want him to have a method of contact should anything happen.

Should also add that I think a secondary school child without a phone will be a rarity, the majority have one by that stage.

I've no regrets about getting my DC phones.

But I established ground rules - I can spot check true phone at any time. No phones overnight etc.

I feel bad admitting this, but nothing stops my teen DDs smart mouth quicker than me taking her phone out of her hand. She will immediately apologise in order to get her phone back, and won't be rude again for at least 24 hours.

DS lost his phone in the first term of secondary school and we refused to replace it until he got a nee one for Christmas- he lost so many things we were getting quite exasperated. Because he wasn't able to WhatsApp his primary friends he missed out on lots of socialising and he lost some friendships as a result. And he's still losing things so he didn't learn any lesson.

So I would say get him a phone, but lay down ground rules now and tell him they'll be in place until he's finished his GCSEs.

I've not regretted getting any of my DC a phone when they went to High School, especially in the last year.

With covid and SI they have been able to contact us when we have had to be collected early from school.

Their school also allows use of their phones in classrooms with teachers permission when looking up further information.

Never regretted it
It means I know where ds2 is, he can call me with any issues, let me know he's home safe etc

He uses it for a family WhatsApp group (me, exh, grandparents) it's great, he shares pics and random internet stuff