To be upset with mil regarding dds birthday?

[Jinnybean]

It’s my dds 5th birthday today. Mil doesn’t really bother with the Dc tbh, we’ve seen her once this year. She lives 5 mins away and drives past our house to work.

Instead of dropping a card round and coming to see dd she’s posted it. She couldn’t even get her something little or anything.

I know I’m probably being ridiculous and selfish. :(

She’s all over her “work family” on social media. They all call her mother at work lol, they post about how amazing she is. She posts about how much she adores her two grandchildren aswell. Her other one lives 4 hours away, she travelled to see them last month.

My mil never bothered with us or dc either.. She posted ds a first birthday card.. I sent it back recorded delivery..
Ds is nearly 7 and she saw him 3 times in his first few months and not since... Her loss..

Don’t buy into the whole ‘give her a chance, she could be just etc.” My own grandmother did the same, blatantly obvious from a young age she just tolerated my and my sister, favoured the other GC. My mother stopped chasing her to see us and we also stopped bothering when old enough as we knew. Leave her carry on, your child will soon notice and realise granny is crap. And that’s also
A good learning curve to have as a child I think. You’re child isn’t missing out on anything as they’ve never had it.
Stop contacting her to visit etc and see if she makes an effort, if not Forget it. My grandmother did the same, drove past us to visit other GC without stopping in and posting cards. Once she has the cheek to say no one was in, I was stood behind the front door as she posted my birthday card and never knocked

My ex MIL was similar. Doted on her daughter's two kids though and couldn't do enough for them but was almost bored by the time our two came along. The rare times we did see her she would spend the whole time talking about herself and ignore the kids.

Luckily my parents have been wonderful grandparents but what makes me sad is that my parents are a good 15 years older than ex MIL so it's very likely they won't be around for as long to watch them grow up, whereas MIL will but doesn't care. I find it very unfair when I think about it.

My ex MIL was a young grandma too so maybe that is a factor.

I don’t yabu as it’s upsetting but it’s still early in the day maybe she will drop something round yet..

Jesus what is it with these grandparents not a week goes by without me seeing my granddaughters nothing not even boris will ever stop that .your grandchildren are an extension of your children I just dont get it .you must be so hurt
And I hate folk who put crap on fb
And dont actually care .

How will she get the mug? Does DH go round on his own? If so maybe change that to a group arrangement.

She sounds awful so I would not waste anymore time on her. Friends are the family that we choose. Find an elderly neighbour or friend who would be honoured to be your daughter's adopted grandmother and invest time in them. Best option for you both.

It’s just so upsetting, when her friends grandparents are at the school gates she always says she wishes nanny would take her. My dad is disabled and in a wheelchair after a stroke and even he sent a card and abit of money and Has already rang to say happy birthday.