Am I being unreasonable... to think life insurance might be pointless?

[WOBNIARM]

My partner suffers from mental health difficulties (exhibiting symptoms of post traumatic stress disorder and multiple personality disorder [now called dissociative identity disorder]) and physical health difficulties where they require the support of a wheelchair.
Unfortunately, despite repeatedly trying to get any diagnosis for the last three years my partner is without a diagnosis for any of these health problems as of yet, so I have to be there supporting them every step of the way.
Even though we are both unemployed, I have no issue supporting my partner with their difficulties with our joined Universal Credit income but recently I noticed within the banking app on my phone there is a new option for life insurance.

I'd just like to put a disclaimer here, I have no intention of killing off my partner.

So I looked into the life insurance just to get a bit of an understanding and this is what I found.

1. Guaranteed 60+ Life Insurance = No good to me, I'm not 60+.
2. Life Insurance = Pays out if I die or am diagnosed as terminally ill.
3. Life Insurance + Cancer, Heart Attack & Stroke = Pays out same as life insurance, but includes if I am diagnosed with cancer, a heart attack or a stroke, even if I recover. Naturally my brain goes towards option 3, it seems like a better option if I were to get life insurance at all as that'd still allow me 3/4 chances to continue to support my partner.

Having said that, am I being unreasonable to think that it might be pointless to get life insurance on myself when my partner would be unable to look after herself if I died or unable to support me if I needed her to?

@PinkPlantCase

Have you made a will OP? I think that would be the place to try and put things in place to support your partner with decision making if you were you pass away. You can nominate an executor to manage your estate and potential look at putting life insurance money into a trust that someone else manages for you DP? That obviously depends on the extent of their mental health issues.

I’d say life insurance and critical illness cover are great to have if you can afford it. I don’t think the PP that mentioned mortgages meant to be rude though, the value of a life insurance policy is so often linked to the amount people borrow for a mortgage and it’s generally a requirement of taking out a mortgage so the two really are very closely linked. Most people set things up so the mortgage is fully paid off by the policy in the event of their death.

Without a mortgage you’ll have to think carefully about what you’d want the value of the policy to be and this will inform what you pay monthly.

Thank you for your response. I haven't made a will, yet. I've heard that it costs money and that I'd need a solicitor to check it over, but I don't really know all that much about that process. A nominated executor does sound intriguing though. Does that have to be someone in authority or can it be someone I know? I hope I didn't come across that I thought that the poster that mentioned mortgages was being rude, because at no point did that even go through my head, it's all very complicated and I appreciate every support, so your view on this affecting the value of the insurance policy is something that has value to myself. Thank you.

@Willowkins

I didn't understand life insurance either but my DH insisted we get it with our huge mortgage. So we did and forgot about it. He died 2 years ago and it means I have enough to give the kids a good start when they set up by themselves. Thinking about it, we only paid in for 10 years - you just never know what's round the corner.

Thank you for your response. Your DH sounds like they were very smart, I'm sorry to hear of your loss, but I'm glad that your DH and yourself made the decision to support your children with their future. If you ever need to talk, just like anyone else here, my messages are always an option.

@Sundayspilot

If you are concerned about your partner’s ability to manage a large sum of money if you weren’t around, you can set up a specialist trust as part of your estate. Our son is disabled and this is what we’ve done so his benefits are less impacted and he won’t fall prey to opportunists. It cost some money in legal fees but was so worth it for peace of mind. Local mental health or disability advocacy groups should be able to give you more info about who to contact and how to do this. It’s worth investigating.

Thanks for your response. Would the Citizens Advice Bureau, for example, have the information about who to contact that deals with that, or is there a different kind of organisation/group that you would suggest? I don't know much about the kind of support that would be available so I'm willing to look into every option that I find out about, it's all very much appreciated.

Sounds like you need to have Power of Attorney, there are two kinds (health and welfare , financial) for your partner with a second choice person in case you are not around. Could be a good friend or relation or even a lawyer.

OP, as your partner is disabled, would you be able to apply for council housing or housing association.
that might give you more security of tenure, and be more affordable.
also have you thought about having power of attorney in place for each of you.
have you sought out all the possible support for your/partner's situation eg a community occupational therapist to assess your housing for any adaptions or equipment that might be of assistance.

We’re looking into getting income protection cover rather than life insurance. The latter just seems like such a con with so many exclusions.

Have you ever worked and had a pension? If you die, what is in your pension account might be paid out to your partner.

@Mosaic123

Sounds like you need to have Power of Attorney, there are two kinds (health and welfare , financial) for your partner with a second choice person in case you are not around. Could be a good friend or relation or even a lawyer.

Thanks for your response. I will look into your suggestion of Power of Attorney and a second choice person. It'd be great to end up finding someone who actually wants the same things we do, to support and improve in the event I can't.

@alexdgr8

OP, as your partner is disabled, would you be able to apply for council housing or housing association. that might give you more security of tenure, and be more affordable. also have you thought about having power of attorney in place for each of you. have you sought out all the possible support for your/partner's situation eg a community occupational therapist to assess your housing for any adaptions or equipment that might be of assistance.

Thanks for your response. Right now my partner and I are privately renting a house together so in order for council housing or a housing association to consider us, we would need to unintentionally homeless. Even then, I think if we did find ourselves involved with either council housing or a housing association, we'd still potentially be in the same position we are now as they could still kick someone out for not being able to pay the bills for example, etc. As for a power of attorney, as the poster before you noted it too, I have taken it on board as a huge suggestion of help and will be looking into it thoroughly as an option. In terms of possible support, most organisations that we are aware of that would help in terms of support for my partner's situation, won't offer any support without my partner having a diagnosis for her difficulties, to the point that I've twice had to purchase a second hand wheelchair both times from charity shops just so she can be mobile. Naturally a diagnosis would help solve so many issues that are faced in terms of support, but all we can do is keep pushing and pushing and pushing until eventually hopefully we get somewhere. Here's hoping!

@WASHI

We’re looking into getting income protection cover rather than life insurance. The latter just seems like such a con with so many exclusions.

Thank you for your response. There's clearly a lot more options than just what this provider of insurance pointed out through the app. I'll definitely need to still do a lot more research into this. Thank you for this knowledge.

@FarFromTheMaddingITCrowd

Have you ever worked and had a pension? If you die, what is in your pension account might be paid out to your partner.

Thanks for your response. I should have been clearer. I'm sorry, I'm not used to this. I'm 27 and my partner is 23. Getting a suitable job hasn't really been easy as I've needed to be around my partner 24/7 for the last three years to support them. As such, we've never been involved with pensions. If I start working a job where I can still give my partner a high level of support, I'll be sure to come and ask for your advice regarding pensions, as I don't have much knowledge on that. Thank you, that is much appreciated.

Thanks for the offer WOBNIARM

MrW was smart and I miss him every day

@Willowkins

Thanks for the offer WOBNIARM MrW _was_ smart and I miss him every day

❤❤❤

so does your partner get disability benefits, if so you can apply for carer's allowance.
this is not really dependent on the diagnosis, more on describing how the disability restricts everyday life.
if you have not applied for this, it would be wise to get some help filling in the forms, from support groups, eg mind, or welfare advice, CAB.
re social housing, again you could enquire on the basis of the disability. and you would have more security in there. sure you could be evicted for non payment of rent, but presumably you get housing benefit. in private rented you can pay the rent religiously and still be evicted for no good reason at all, just the landlord wants you out.

Could anyone recommend their life insurance provider, particularly ones who paid out?

@tallduckandhandsome

Could anyone recommend their life insurance provider, particularly ones who paid out?

Our was with Aviva. They were very efficient. Upon my husbands death I rang them. They just needed a copy of the death certificate and within 7 days of receipt of it I received the payout.

DH & I both have life insurance. I got mine because I know he's financially not as responsible as me - I'm super careful, he's not negligent, just a little bit careless occasionally, & I suspect he wouldn't make the best choices for a while if I die first. I made him get life insurance as I pointed out to him that I literally couldn't afford to bury him otherwise. We rent.

I don’t know if there’s much point in life insurance in your position. It’s usually to pay the mortgage off and replace a lost income.

In your shoes I would use the money you would pay in premiums to buy in care and support for your partner now, and free yourself up to find paid employment. The outcome would be better all round.

For context, my DH is insured to the hilt because he earns the big bucks, so in the case of his death the mortgage would be cleared and I’d have a lump sum.

I have a small, old policy because I have bipolar and a history of suicide attempts so no new insurer will touch me.

Thanks @Proudboomer

To be blunt, life assurance is only pointless if you're planning to end your own life (because the terms usually exclude payouts in that situation). For everyone else, if you have at least one dependent, it's worth taking out.

I have quite a substantial policy that is split between my family, so I know if I die first, they'll have enough cash to not worry about the bills and take some time to mourn me. At least, they better bloody well damn mourn me after I've been this considerate. I note it's a one-way thing - no one else has taken out a policy.

@aspadeaspade

To be blunt, life assurance is only pointless if you're planning to end your own life (because the terms usually exclude payouts in that situation). For everyone else, if you have at least one dependent, it's worth taking out.

I have quite a substantial policy that is split between my family, so I know if I die first, they'll have enough cash to not worry about the bills and take some time to mourn me. At least, they better bloody well damn mourn me after I've been this considerate. I note it's a one-way thing - no one else has taken out a policy.

My policy includes suicide (after a year of being on the plan)

I received a life-limiting diagnosis when I was too young to have yet needed to think about critical illness or life insurance. Or private medical insurance.

My diagnosis means I can't get any of those types of insurance. So my usual advice to people is to get these things whilst you're still comfortable that you don't need them! Because by the time you truly realise the difference they make, it's too late.

Life insurance isn't free, with average luck you will pay more into it than you get out. If this weren't true the insurance companies would be out of business.

Even if the odds were fair, you paid in exactly what you'll get back with average luck, consider the utility of money. The alternative things you could have spent the premium money on are likely to do more good than the things a large lump sum would be spent on.

If you (or your dependent) live on a benefits-level income, I doubt it would be worth it. Wouldn't the money you gain result in benefits being lower than they otherwise would be? It might be a much worse deal in that circumstance than it would be for someone protecting a higher standard of living.

Life insurance is a good idea for people with middling spending habits that are funded by work. It's less appropriate for the rich who live off their assets, or the poor who live off benefits.

It’s worth bearing in mind that if your DP received a lump sum her benefits would be affected if over the threashold. Paying into a very low cost plan to cover funeral expenses might be useful but at 27 you could also just slowly save that with a fair degree of confidence.

At the risk of sounding nosey and it most definitely not being part of your question, why is your DP not getting psychiatric help and a clear diagnosis? Are her physical disabilities separate or part of a complex psychological illness? She’s far too young to be left to get on with it and it really doesn’t sound fair to you. Perhaps asking on another board for advice on this might be helpful. Apologies if you’ve already done so.

By the way, you write brilliantly and have a measured and mature attitude which could very possibly lead you into a career whereby owning a property would be achievable. Don’t let your past define your future.x