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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

‘Let’s try and keep in touch’

70 replies

Theeamonandruthshow · 20/07/2021 22:43

If someone ended their WhatsApp chat like this to you, what would you think?
What does this sentence mean to you?

OP posts:
Freddiefox · 20/07/2021 23:11

Hi, are you the person who over thinks text messages from a friend from a while ago? If so, please stop.
It won’t help you. It will
Make you feel worse

Imcatmum · 20/07/2021 23:11

If it's a friend, they like you but are shit at staying in touch so are half acknowledging that and it more means 'i wish we would stay in touch more but it's such a hassle doing messages and phone'.

If it's a love interest, it's not good news.

UmbilicusProfundus · 20/07/2021 23:12

For goodness sake just tell the whole story OP if you want any helpful answers.

Original poster
Theeamonandruthshow · 20/07/2021 23:18

@Freddiefox No, I’m not that type of person at all

OP posts:
MrsToothyBitch · 20/07/2021 23:18

Yes, really, sorry. Unless in a situation like @3scape mentioned. I always feel it's something that gets said to round out a goodbye without sounding final. If an effort was honestly going to be made, you wouldn't give a platitude.

I'm honestly sorry to have sounded so harsh initially OP. I do hope you're ok.

OhtheVulgarity · 20/07/2021 23:23

@Freddiefox

Hi, are you the person who over thinks text messages from a friend from a while ago? If so, please stop. It won’t help you. It will Make you feel worse
Oh, lord, I forgot that poster!
Original poster
Theeamonandruthshow · 20/07/2021 23:24

@MrsToothyBitch No, that’s okay, I thought similar too, think it’s confirmed it

OP posts:
Original poster
Theeamonandruthshow · 20/07/2021 23:32

It was my sister.

OP posts:
ChockaChick · 20/07/2021 23:32

Assuming this isn’t a potential love interest (in which case it sounds bleak to be frank), I honestly don’t see anything wrong with it at all. I read it as the person genuinely wanting to keep up a connection whilst acknowledging that life can get busy and that this may well require effort from one/both of you at times. If it were somebody you’d met on a short course say.

Gibbonsgibbonsgibbons · 20/07/2021 23:35

If it was from my mother it was a passive aggressive dig at the fact she would like to have more opportunities to crush my soul Grin

Planty13 · 20/07/2021 23:35

Let’s try? They aren’t interested at all. Let’s keep in touch? Still not interested but trying to be gentle

Original poster
Theeamonandruthshow · 20/07/2021 23:36

@ChockaChick Hoping you’re right

OP posts:
TreeSmuggler · 20/07/2021 23:38

If I got this message I'd see it as a bit of a neg honestly. Even if you didn't really want to see someone again, but wanted to be polite, you could still say "let's keep in touch". So adding "try" is saying I don't even respect you enough to be polite.

Your sister... Hmm more details needed. Are you close, did you just get back in touch after a while?

Fl0w3ry · 20/07/2021 23:40

To me it sounds like you have drifted apart and your sister is implying it's your fault. But at the same time she isn't that bothered about the drifting apart.

BackforGood · 20/07/2021 23:41

For goodness sake just tell the whole story OP if you want any helpful answers.

This.
Tell us what the back story is, and people might be able to help / advise.

Being all secretive means anyone who replies is either wildly guessing, or projecting from their own situation.

Just tell us.

Cowbells · 20/07/2021 23:45

I think of it as a bit of a get out clause. Not 'I never want to see you again' but more 'I mean to get in touch with you but kids/work/DH/life keep taking my attention and energy and so I often forget or put it off. Sorry.'

Moonlaserbearwolf · 20/07/2021 23:50

Unless you tell us a bit of back story between you and your sister OP, none of us can advise you properly.

2018SoFarSoGreat · 20/07/2021 23:53

hmm I read this very differently. To me, it sounds like someone who wants more out of your relationship. more frequent contact, more conversation. Not less. I'd only say it if things had been strained, and we were making some headway though. Not out of the blue.

HeartvsBrain · 20/07/2021 23:57

@choca beat me to it. I would say this if I was moving or going to be away somewhere for quite a long time. Because I am so used to people in the past (including me), saying "we will/must" keep in touch, and really meaning it, but then life comes along and gets in the way. Suddenly weeks, then months, then years have raced by, and you no longer know where that person is, or how to find them (of course that is udually a lot easier with social media). As it is your sister I imagine that she is well aware of that fact, and so just wanted to add the "try", maybe to even "try" to ward off a jinx, by saying "we will keep in touch". In case it seems unlikely that family would lose touch with each other, my brother has lived in lots of places around the World, and whilst my parents were alive I always knew where he was, since they died over six years ago, I have no idea where he is. It happens, if you and your sister love each other, or even just like each other, then make the effort to keep in touch - it has never been easier.

NothingEverChangesButTheShoes · 21/07/2021 00:09

From my experience, it could either mean they want to stay in touch but have a hevtic life with work and children, or could mean they have no intention to stay in touch. The use of the word why makes me suspicious. I would need more context.

At least it wasn't 'All the best.' That means, 'Fuck off and never contact me again.' Especially from an ex or date.

Coyoacan · 21/07/2021 00:12

To me it means ' we've not been keeping intouch/up todate, let's try harder'

That is what I would understand. I wouldn't overthink it, your sister probably isn't so subtle as some of the interpretations here imply.

covilha · 21/07/2021 00:28

When I read it I thought it was from a sibling: someone you ought to be in touch with more often than you are. I think your sister's text is her way of acknowledging neither of you are great at staying in touch and also not blaming either herself or you for previous lack of communication. The gist of her message is she would like you both to stay in touch, but due to previous experience is aware this may not happen: in which care, no blame

ohthatbloodycat · 21/07/2021 00:34

It's insincere.

melj1213 · 21/07/2021 00:38

It's meaning depends entirely in the context so YABU to not give any real context to work with

Bargebill19 · 21/07/2021 00:43

Ah from a sister. That would say to me that she blames you for not keeping in touch, but doesn’t acknowledge that communication is a two way street.
I wouldn’t exactly rush to keep in contact bar a couple xmas cards.

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