Hello,
I would like to ask you for your input to see if I'm being unreasonable.
I have started a new job six weeks ago. So far everything is going fine and I had positive feedback that I'm doing really well.
I also have a 1 year old that goes to a childminder while I'm working. I've mentioned it to our director before that I have a young child and to another female coworker who also has 2 children.
I hadn't mentioned it to my teamleader yet as there just was no reason to do so so far.
Yesterday in the morning, after starting work, I received a call from my childminder to please pick my child up as he had runny poos. They also said he couldn't return for the next 48 hours.
I called my team leader ( we work from home all the time and only have seen each other on video so far, not in person). I said: "I don't think I have mentioned it to you before, but I have a young son, and he's unwell at the childminder and I need to pick him up.
He then said: "Really? No you haven't mentioned it to me. But you don't look a day over 18".
I just jokingly replied: "I always say "I'm 18 and a few years".
I'm actually 34 and I definitely don't think I look young, but it's probably the camera smoothing things out. There's a good mix of people of all different ages at my company. People in their twenties, thirties, fourties and even older people.
I then drove off to pick up my son. When I was back I realized I couldn't work while looking after a child at the same time.
I then called him again to tell him that I'm going to ask HR if I could take the next 2 1/2 days as a holiday.
I had my crying child in my arms and he heard him crying as well. He showed no concern at all for my son, but asked me: "How old is your child?". I then responded 1 and then he asked me "And how old are you?"
I then was kind of pissed off and just replied "Didn't you know that you should never ask a woman for her age".
He then said: "No, I'm allowed to ask these questions. My oldest daughter is in her mid thirties, she's got 2 young children, and my youngest daughter is 25 and I think you are around my youngest daughter's age"
I then just didn't answer his question and moved on to something different.
I'm not ashamed about my age and being "older", but AIBU to be seriously weirded out by his assumptions about my age?
Even if I was 25, would it be that unusual to have a 1 year old child? I'm sure there's plenty of women who start their families in their early/mid-twenties. My mum for instance started when she was 23 and completed her family by the age of 30.
I got a really strange vibe from this conversation. On top of that, I'm about 7 weeks pregnant at the moment and I now dread telling my new employer about my pregnancy. I fell pregnant in the month I started my new job.
My plan was to keep it a secret as long as possible and only tell them when I have to. As I work from home they wouldn't see my growing bump.
AIBU to find this whole questioning about my age really weird or is this just my hormonal pregnancy brain making things up?
When I mentioned my son to our director and my other colleague ( both are women), none of them questioned me about my age.
By the way, before anyone accuses me, this is not a post to humble brag about how young l look. I'm seriously bewildered by his comments and would like to know other's people's opinions.
I asked my partner and he also thought his comments were really weird.