How long should I be single for?

[StartingAgain33]

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How long should I be single for?1
Today 20:50StartingAgain33

I know this is a bit of a silly question and it's down to me but would like opinions on what has worked for you.

Aware of the biological clock, I have spent the past two years of so dating around in the hope of finding someone to settle down with. Instead of found mostly avoidant men, some of whom I've ended things with quickly as I've seen they're not capable of the relationship I want, and a couple I've stayed with longer because it wasn't clear from the beginning (one was also a narcissist, which I'm just learning about now).

I know I became closed off from my feelings in the last relationship and ignored gut hunches something was wrong. A poster said that this meant I was codependent and I think there is some truth (I have a history of putting others needs before my own, although I have been much better in the past couple of years!)

The thing is I don't feel i can take too much of a break because of my biological clock. Even though I am feeling tired of men and like I need to find myself - the latest one I broke up with two weeks ago after nine months and we had planned a future together so it's really knocked me for six.

So I'm both panicking about getting too old to meet someone to have kids with, convincing myself no one will want me at this age, but also aware I need to heal.

What would you do?

In case it's useful, I look a lot younger than I am and dating has never been an issue. Plus I froze 28 eggs at 35 so have a good chance one will work out later if needed.

Yabu - 3 months
Yanbu - 6 months minimum

How old are you? Your name suggests you are 33 but you say you froze eggs at 35, so you cannot be 33.

Oh sorry. I'm 36, 37 next month.

Yes, I started this account when I was panicking at 33! So it's been a long time.... (although I mostly dated around casually that year as had just had a big breakup)

Woah. These things don’t work out down to specific timings. Take as much time off the scene as you need whether that be 3 days or 3 years.

You look younger and frozen your eggs, so you are in a good 'hedged' position.

You know yourself whether you need a break. I understand about the bio clock. If you feel exhausted, then take a 3 month break and re-assess then whether you need another 3 month extension.

It does not sound like you are picking the wrong guys. Quite the opposite, you are focused on culling the timewasters. You simply have not met the right man. As it is a numbers game, the more men you meet, statistically, the more likely you will find your soulmate.

I suggest that you continue to meet new people but giving yourself a break. Think of it as making new friends and expanding your social circle, rather than finding a life partner. When I was approaching my mid-30s and a little despondent about not meeting Mr Right, I resigned myself to being single. Instead of thinking of every new man as a potential partner, I focused on being myself without any expectations of a relationship which felt liberating. Funnily enough and probably pure coincidence, my colleague shortly after made an introduction to a bloke who is now my dh.

I don't think this has anything to do with you. It could be tomorrow or it could be 6 months or more. Have faith that the probabilities are in your favour even if you take your foot off the pedal for a bit.