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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Anyone else find it much harder to stay slim past their 20s?

64 replies

Thechainsmokers12 · 20/07/2021 20:56

I control the amount of calories I eat every day but I’ve gained over a stone since I was in my mid 20s, I’m wobbly, flabby and just look bigger all over even though I do plenty of exercise and haven’t changed my diet, I don’t drink either.
My diet is too high in sugar, but I don’t eat whatever I want, I calorie count yet still feel gross. I rarely have cheat days either. Heat makes me bloat too which doesn’t help. Anyone else feel their metabolism has slowed and have any tips?

OP posts:
Lavender24 · 20/07/2021 23:16

I noticed my metabolism slowed when I hit about 28 (now 30). I've always gained weight quickly but could lose it quickly too. Now I struggle to lose even a couple of pounds. Managed to lose 5lbs this year and would like to lose another 4. I'm still a size 8 but my belly is awful, so disproportionate. I'm very active and actually have abs of steel under the fat 😂

IShouldBeSoLurky · 20/07/2021 23:24

I’m 48 and in the best shape I’ve ever been. At my lightest three years ago I weighed about 2kg less than I do now: now I weigh about 9st3 at 5’8. I exercise hard every day including lifting weights and I can eat what I want. Turns out that’s two big meals a day with lots of protein but also probably more cake, alcohol etc than is ideal. It’s lovely feeling proud of my body and relaxed about what I eat though. I haven’t had children, which probably helps.

minipie · 20/07/2021 23:43

Yes early 30s for me (pre kids)

Turned out I have PCOS and hypothroid

Worth getting checked for these OP (esp thyroid)

Strokethefurrywall · 20/07/2021 23:43

I’ve only recently noticed a shift in speed of weight gain, in that I can very easily put on a few pounds rather than it being a much slower gain a few years back but I put this down to metabolism slowing.
That being said, I’m as slim as I was at 21 (have a top shop denim mini skirt that i bought when I was 22 and I still wear).
At the moment I’m getting in shape for carnival so am on keto, but generally eat a wfpb diet.
Processed carbs and sugar will be your greatest enemies as you get older (generally speaking), and I don’t really eat them.
Once you kill the sugar demon you’ll find that you won’t miss it. Lots of people ask me how I can live with donuts/chocolate/cheese/ice cream etc, and if I feel deprived. But it’s not that I deny myself them, I just don’t fancy eating them. And I used to be a sugar fiend.

minipie · 20/07/2021 23:44

If you do have either then sugar and high GI carbs are the worst for you

Mominatrix · 20/07/2021 23:51

I passed the 50 mark last year and still am a size 6 (5 foot 2, so proportionately slim, not skinny). I have never counted calories or dieted, so it can be done.

Genetics play a large part (everyone on my family is easily slim), but also diet and excel use. When I say diet, I mean how you eat. I grew up eating majority of home cooked, from scratch food of my parents’ East Asian culture (mostly veg, rice, loads of fermented foods, and more fish than meat) with a minority of typical American junk, probably 20% or less. I continue this way of eating today, but eat a larger variety of cuisines than I grew up with. Sugary treats exist in my diet, but they are home made so I know what is in them. My gut microbiome is very healthy with all of the fermented foods I grew up eating, and continue to eat daily (kimchi, miso, yoghurt, cheese).

I have also loved exercise and switched from swimming to running when I hit uni. I still am running, but added weights about 15 years ago. If anything, running does not affect my body (just makes me have a larger appetite), but weights really make a noticeable difference. We lose muscle mass steadily after our 20s, and muscle mass is directly linked to metabolism, so weight training is essential to keeping weight off as we get older.

If I were in your shoes, I’d start an exercise programme focusing on weights with some cardio. Diet wise, I’d focus on whole foods and adding gut friendly things (whole grain, fermented food). Ease up on calorie counting, and make your own sweet treats. Also, accept that change won’t be dramatic, but slow changes are usually permanent ones.

Ijustknowitstimetogo · 20/07/2021 23:55

20s no. 40s yes.

LaProcureure · 21/07/2021 00:08

I hit 35 and thought shit, that’s it, I’ll never be thin again. It seems so hard to lose weight and I just yo-yoed between the same few pounds, well over where I wanted to be. And I thought I did “plenty of exercise” - which amounted to running 5k a week and 10k steps a day. But the reality is that that is just nowhere near enough exercise. Not quite realising it was the key, I joined a running club and massively upped my mileage- I run between 30 - 35k in the average week now. But I’m back to the weight I was in my mid-20s, my waist has returned and I’m eating more than ever! If you commit to it, exercise is a really useful tool in the battle against the bulge, but you have to do a lot of it. For me it’s worth it.

Nsky · 21/07/2021 00:25

Nearly same weight as 26, 10st 6, it’s the changing shape the last few tears that brings me down at 59.
It’s the tum

stopgap · 21/07/2021 01:21

I’m 44, 5’7, and weigh a hair under 9 stone. I was 8 stone until I hit 35. So yes, I’ve gained weight, but look better for it. This is my sweet spot, though, and hope I don’t gain much more as I age.

I eat very healthily and work out five days a week.

ZaraW · 21/07/2021 06:20

@NoMoreCovidPlease

Sugar is your enemy. And it's slowly becoming clear that so are carbs Sad
Complex carbs are healthy and stop you feeling hungry. Simple carbs are not good.
Mummadeze · 21/07/2021 06:27

47 and keep putting on weight. Can’t lose it no matter how much I try. Finding it very tough.

OneHundredTrees · 21/07/2021 07:09

No, I'm a lot slimmer now than I was in my 20s after changing my diet and lifestyle.

I've read that it's a myth that your metabolism 'slows down' as you age - it's actually that as you get older (but I mean 70s/80s not 40s/50s!) you are less active and this will result in burning less calories.

As PP have said, it's your high sugar diet that's caused the weight gain.

To blame metabolism is an excuse (I've been there!).

OneHundredTrees · 21/07/2021 07:13

@Mominatrix

I passed the 50 mark last year and still am a size 6 (5 foot 2, so proportionately slim, not skinny). I have never counted calories or dieted, so it can be done.

Genetics play a large part (everyone on my family is easily slim), but also diet and excel use. When I say diet, I mean how you eat. I grew up eating majority of home cooked, from scratch food of my parents’ East Asian culture (mostly veg, rice, loads of fermented foods, and more fish than meat) with a minority of typical American junk, probably 20% or less. I continue this way of eating today, but eat a larger variety of cuisines than I grew up with. Sugary treats exist in my diet, but they are home made so I know what is in them. My gut microbiome is very healthy with all of the fermented foods I grew up eating, and continue to eat daily (kimchi, miso, yoghurt, cheese).

I have also loved exercise and switched from swimming to running when I hit uni. I still am running, but added weights about 15 years ago. If anything, running does not affect my body (just makes me have a larger appetite), but weights really make a noticeable difference. We lose muscle mass steadily after our 20s, and muscle mass is directly linked to metabolism, so weight training is essential to keeping weight off as we get older.

If I were in your shoes, I’d start an exercise programme focusing on weights with some cardio. Diet wise, I’d focus on whole foods and adding gut friendly things (whole grain, fermented food). Ease up on calorie counting, and make your own sweet treats. Also, accept that change won’t be dramatic, but slow changes are usually permanent ones.

Fantastic advice, I'd echo this 100% to how I keep slim. More people need to be aware of their gut microbiome.
FuzzyPuffling · 21/07/2021 08:13

Ha ha ha...wait til you're post menopause!

Marmitemarinaded · 21/07/2021 08:14

No, I’m 40 and honestly don’t notice any difference in metabolism
I’m underweight and always have been though

Mind you I have an under active thyroid and that’s often touted as reason for why someone is many stone overweight. When in reality - if you’re on levo correctly - then this is no reason whatsoever you should be overweight

Excuses

name6785 · 21/07/2021 08:18

Ha ha ha...wait til you're post menopause!

I always find this interesting. The medical community seems adamant that menopause has no effect, whenever I've seen programmes on the like or staying healthy in middle age they will say it's a myth, my mum will swear down the opposite, I don't understand why it's so controversial and difficult to get an answer (other than the fact it's women's health and therefore not important....)

fellrunner85 · 21/07/2021 08:23

I thought I did “plenty of exercise” - which amounted to running 5k a week and 10k steps a day. But the reality is that that is just nowhere near enough exercise

This! This with bells on. I was overweight throughout my 20s, even though I was convinced I ate "normally" and did "plenty" of exercise.

Then I started running proper distances, eating better, and gave up alcohol. Now I feel so much better, physically and mentally, and I maintain a size 8-10 no bother.

IME most people who complain of putting on weight in their 30s don't do anywhere near enough exercise, think it's normal to eat takeaways/eat big meals out regularly, and drink a fair amount of wine. At least thats the case in my friendship group, and I can completely sympathise as I used to be the same.

We're fed this lie that it's normal to have huge milky coffees and cake when you're out shopping; that it's normal to "treat yourself" with wine-o-clock, and that it's normal to dial up a Just Eat if you don't want to cook. And it's so hard to break out of that culture.

Auntienumber8 · 21/07/2021 08:24

I found it easy till I hit menopause aged 50. Now to maintain, not lose I need to eat a lot less. My waist has thickened a little that was the body shape change.

AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair · 21/07/2021 08:28

I'm not sure what your question is or how the voting works but lucky you if you've only just realized that most people as they get older find it more difficult to maintain a healthy weight Smile

Wait until you hit your 40s and 50s

In your case though I do think that not having children should make it way easier to lose weight. When you're cooking for a family and having time taken up by children it's much harder to put your own meals and exercise first

Dragonn · 21/07/2021 08:29

I've only just found it harder at 43 but it's pounds not stones. And I am spongy. I expect to put a bit of weight on as I get older but I don't expect to put masses on unless I make bad choices. I know genetics could play a part etc but I do think for many people and me included it is expectations based on our western 21st century life style. I think I will stay slim if I eat a salad and go for a walk or hit the gym a few times a week. But this isn't the case.

We need to be exercising. Not token exercise, but real exercise. Often. I dont think 3 times a week at the gym cuts it. Especially, if like me you are sat down all day. And we should be eating healthy, natural foods. Cake, biscuits, chocolate, processed food, alcohol really should be the exception. Weekly treat days are too often. It's hard to escape when it's shoved in your face constantly and food is a hobby. Our society has set us up for failure tbh!

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 21/07/2021 08:33

You simply cannot eat the calories you used to. I used to eat a whole large dominos pizza by myself with a bottle of wine in my twenties and ate loads of sugar, cakes, treats etc, and stayed under 10 st and size 10. My metabolism has simply slowed, I just dont need the calories now despite exercising more. It is taking a huge mental shift for me to accept eating far far less, but I'm getting there.

Set yourself a 2 year goal and know that a short term diet will not work OP, you need to accept simply eating less, for ever.

I find it helps me to start by replacing some of the worst offenders with lower calorie options - things like prawns are great for being lower calorie. I eat a lot less bread now and just have to really watch the portion sizes.

Deux · 21/07/2021 09:02

Our metabolism definitely changes over time. My understanding is that it’s at its peak up to age 25 as that’s when our bodies stop the ‘growing phase’ and we don’t create any more bone. After that we’re in the ‘aging phase’.

There are lots of online basal metabolic rate calculators. For me, it’s a mere 1400 calories per day and that could easily be gone with a few slices of toast and butter and coffee and cake at Costa.

We start losing muscle mass slowly in our 20s as well and muscle is metabolically active meaning that it requires calories to maintain it whereas fat doesn’t burn any calories.

And then add in hormones, not forgetting birth control. Women actually produce more testosterone in their ovaries than they do oestrogen. Menopause means that all disappears too and contributes to weight gain round the middle and more rapid muscle loss.

ZaraW · 21/07/2021 10:07

Jillian Michaels talks about this on her You Tube Channel. After menopause you need to exercise more intensely and for longer and cut calories by up to 25%.

Demortuisnilnisibonum · 21/07/2021 10:13

Restrict carbs, eat way more veg and fruit and aim for a minimum of 8000 steps a day. Not wishing to sound smug, but I’m early 50s and the same size as I was at 20. Boobs slightly smaller, waist slightly bigger, but no major difference. I have cake and ice cream as treats, but not every day & I make sure the rest of my food is really healthy - no ready meals, takeaways no more than once every couple of months. I eat loads of stir fries and salads with grains. Don’t sit down very often, either!

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