Aibu to want to spend time with my 16year old

[staceyflack]

And... how do I make it less of an issue between us. I'd like her to want to spend time with me, and I'd like to feel less sad / needy... 🙄

Another feeling your pain - my DD sees my role / sole purpose as personal chauffeur and ATM.

She will (at a push) watch a film / series with me - we have just started Outer Banks on Netflix.
Recently I introduced her to the Twilight films and she begrudgingly said they were ok but then I heard her rave about them to her friends!

A strange thing she likes is going for a drive - she can choose the music (up to a point - I have no patience to lots of swearing etc and she has converted me to early Kanye West a bit!) She will happily chat in the car (not at home?!) and with the air con on it's great!

yes i agree with Super above.
sorry you've had a hard time recently.
but you must know that it is unreasonable and not really healthy to try to make your teenage children into companions for you.
they are at a completely different stage of life, and it's natural that they want to get away from you.
they are forming their identities by mixing with friends, meeting new people and finding their tribe.
its like when the pilgrim fathers went to the new world.
you represent the folks back in the old country. they will always be connected of course, but right now they want and need to forge their way ahead.
i think you need to find more adult company, maybe support groups, or interest activities, now that things are opening up again; and of course there's plenty online.
what about trying to learn a language, or study art history, or a favourite band, or quizzes; anything that might engross you, and hopefully give you joy.
i wish you all the best.

I feel your pain too. My 17 yr old son has always been cuddly and loving.

Now I can barely get 2 words out of him and he doesn’t want to do anything with me at all. Breaks my heart, but I also know this is a normal part of becoming independent.

Agree with PP's, you really need to be into what they are (you may even get a little reciprocal interest eventually!)

For DS(17) it's politics (so I know far more about that than I ever realised I didn't IYSWIM?!), driving (you do need nerves of steel for this one) and far more trips to KFC / McDonalds / Burger King than I would happily admit to in real life.

DH struggles far more as the parent to a teen and consequently has much less of a relationship with DS - in fairness I was not a natural mother to a young child so it's swings and roundabouts really

We did a garden renovation project together through lockdown last year

I’d agree with being interested in the same stuff. I had DD quite young so not such a generation gap and I naturally like a lot of what she does so for all she’s out there in the big wide world we still bond over things like Love Island and fit footballers (sending each other tiktoks via WhatsApp) 😂

It will come back. My mum often thought the same (she told me later!), all of her girls drifted off, now we are late twenties and thirties and she cannot get shot of us 🤣