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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not emotional that my DD is leaving Primary?

83 replies

PollyBlue6 · 20/07/2021 18:57

All of the moms I've spoke to are saying how upset and emotional they are due to their children leaving Primary school.
Saying they are dreading the day etc.

I think I'm broken because I'm just, not.
There's been numerous problems with the last year, not actually covid related, and DD has took a dislike to school.
Shes SO looking forward to High school and most of her friends are moving to the same school.

Any other parents felt like this? I'm not sure if it's because I have another DD there and pregnant with DC3 or what.

It just makes me feel abit odd when we are talking about it. I seem like the only one that feels the way I do!

OP posts:
DramaAlpaca · 20/07/2021 19:37

I wasn't in the least bit emotional about any of my children leaving primary school.

billy1966 · 20/07/2021 19:37

I definitely have felt a bit emotional thanking my children's teachers.

They were truly fantastic and were kindness itself to every single child.

We were mostly massively lucky.

Iknowtheanswer · 20/07/2021 19:39

I loved our primary school, am still very involved in various ways, but I just couldn't join in the emotional wailing when my dcs left. I thought I would be upset, but I just wasn't - they were ready to move on.

Punkienightlantern · 20/07/2021 19:40

I might cry. It’s unlikely but if I do they will be tears of pure unadulterated fucking joy.

CagneyNYPD · 20/07/2021 19:40

My DD leaves her lovely primary school next year. I'm actually looking forward to it. Watching her grow into a great young person at secondary school. My ds is 13 and is having a great time (despite Covid).

I vividly remember my last day at primary school over 35 years ago. I went into the cloakroom to get my things and saw a load of girls from my class crying. I thought that they were making a fuss and it hadn't occurred to me to be upset.

Even now, I'm not an overly emotional person. I get emotional over people being treated badly, animals being hurt etc. I just don't get emotional over life's natural changes and progressions.

CaffeineAndNicotine · 20/07/2021 19:42

Oh god I thought I was the only one. Tbf we dot really know anyone at dd school due to moving and then covid. Obviously she has friends but has maintained other outside of school friendships from her first school without my input so I know she will still see the ones she wants to anyway. The parents WhatsApp is all of the wanging on about how sad blah blah and I am just HmmConfused but again, it could be that I know ZERO parents and only met a few if the kids briefly (again, dd just meets up with them in town or at the park locally so no input needed from me) Last child too. Juat glad I have no more school runs to do. She is going into secondary with her outside of school best friends so September will be good for her too and she is more than ready.

FakeColinCaterpillar · 20/07/2021 19:43

DD left last year, I was thrilled. It was a terrible primary and they had been especially terrible during lockdown. They barely even acknowledged the kids were leaving, I had a phone call from her teacher (who had been absent most of the year anyway) who literally couldn’t be bothered and didn’t even want to speak to DD.
We would have moved but was in a good catchment area for her great secondary.

CaffeineAndNicotine · 20/07/2021 19:43

Oh and now I just need to figure out how to leave the parents WhatsApp group. Just leave? Not like I know anyone anyway or should I announce?! Or say bye nice never meeting you you bunch of stuck up cows Grin (they are. I did try pre covid honestly!)

lifeinlimbo2020 · 20/07/2021 19:47

I wasn't emotional when either of my DS left primary school. In fact with my youngest it was a relief as the school had gone in to free fall decline. So much easier and nicer being at secondary school, mind you, we're lucky it's the best one around 👍

cariadlet · 20/07/2021 19:47

I'm a teacher and the end of year assembly, with year 6s sharing their memories, always seems to be a very emotional experience for lots of people. There are lots of tearful children and even some of the younger ones stay crying although they don't quite know why.

When my own dd was in year 6, I felt absolutely nothing. She'd had a great time at primary school and I'd loved having her at the school where I teach and watching her grow up but I felt completely unemotional about her leaving.

Mind you, she was completely dry eyed too. Maybe we are both as stony hearted as each other. Or maybe we were just more focused on the excitement of starting secondary school.

TillyTopper · 20/07/2021 19:48

YANBU I used to like each milestone - leaving nursery, moving to reception, on to "big school", GCSEs, A Levels. It's something to celebrate not starting crying over imo.

Helenluvsrob · 20/07/2021 19:49

Nah was great that they were growing up
Especially the youngest 😂

thanksamillion · 20/07/2021 19:50

My youngest of 3 has just left and I am not sad at all. She's enjoyed school generally but has outgrown it over this year and once secondary allocation was done friendships have got pretty tribal and petty. She's going to a different shool to most where I'm sure she'll thrive. I haven't done a school run for a year because she's been going independently. She's ready for the next step and so am I. No tears here!

DisorganisedOrganiser · 20/07/2021 19:53

I will be devastated next year when my child leaves primary. The primary school has been incredible and just all you could wish for. She has an amazing group of friends and teachers. She will go to secondary which is very strict, in isolation if she as much as looks the wrong way and will be intentionally split up from all her lovely friends. I will be the one trying not to openly sob on the last day. Secondary will be such a hideous shock.

CaffeineAndNicotine · 20/07/2021 19:53

No more star of the week, weekly spellings, reading records, ridiculous assemblies where you see your child for 2 mins out of an hour long other peoples children fest, no more battling traffic, no more school gate angst and having to make polite chit chat (or not in my case, see above), no more stupid dressing up days. I could go on. Bliss.

CaffeineAndNicotine · 20/07/2021 19:54

@DisorganisedOrganiser

I will be devastated next year when my child leaves primary. The primary school has been incredible and just all you could wish for. She has an amazing group of friends and teachers. She will go to secondary which is very strict, in isolation if she as much as looks the wrong way and will be intentionally split up from all her lovely friends. I will be the one trying not to openly sob on the last day. Secondary will be such a hideous shock.
So why send her there? Choose somewhere else, even if it means travel?
DisorganisedOrganiser · 20/07/2021 19:55

I love the assemblies! Even if you don’t see your own child much you see friends’ children.

TheMoth · 20/07/2021 19:56

I felt nothing either. Like motherunner, it's just part of the cycle. I was relieved not to feel guilty anymore- always something I couldn't get to go and watch.

As a teacher though, having a kid who thinks they're grown up but about to have a rude awakening in high school breaks my heart a little. They have to get a bit hard to survive our local school. His primary class were unusually lovely; he's not really met many proper nasty kids.

DisorganisedOrganiser · 20/07/2021 19:58

Caffeine, it’s our catchment school and she goes to the feeder primary. The next nearest choice is apparently just as strict so pointless. The next nearest one has a kind reputation but is over subscribed and we will be too far away although might put it down. Unwilling to do single sex and can’t afford private. Realistically it is the local secondary or nothing. TheMoth has put it better than me. It’s knowing that they will all be absolutely crushed at a huge impersonal secondary going from a primary where the head knows all the children by name and many of the siblings and parents too.

theneverendinglaundry · 20/07/2021 19:59

@Longdistance

Wasn’t emotional. Dd hasn’t been happy there for a while. As she said ‘I look school and learning new things, but don’t like the kids’. Tbh, their have been incidents when they’ve been awful to her, especially the girls. Dd is going to a high school where none of them are going, so she’ll have a fresh start.
My DD has had a similar experience. She can't wait to leave, and none of the awful girls will be going to the same school.

I am also feeling quite detached but will celebrate her getting through it all and staying strong!

Todaytomorrowyesterday · 20/07/2021 20:04

My youngest is about to leave…I’m done.

No more school runs random outfits etc school playground politics! (Though I will miss a couple of us parents who don’t play into all that)

I think it’s less emotional this time around as Covid has meant for the last 18mths no one is really around on the school run, all the end of term ‘lasts’ we haven’t been able to do! Maybe just maybe I’ll shed a tear on Friday….

theneverendinglaundry · 20/07/2021 20:05

@CaffeineAndNicotine

Oh and now I just need to figure out how to leave the parents WhatsApp group. Just leave? Not like I know anyone anyway or should I announce?! Or say bye nice never meeting you you bunch of stuck up cows Grin (they are. I did try pre covid honestly!)
😂 I was wondering the same thing.

Mind you all the parents that are in my group are nice, and none of the parents of the horrible cliquey kids are on there. Funny that.

JustCallMeBubblesDahling · 20/07/2021 20:05

No more star of the week, weekly spellings, reading records, ridiculous assemblies where you see your child for 2 mins out of an hour long other peoples children fest, no more battling traffic, no more school gate angst and having to make polite chit chat (or not in my case, see above), no more stupid dressing up days. I could go on. Bliss.

I was feeling like that up until today (youngest DCs last day), now I feel strangely sad that it’s all over after 20 years of doing it and I’ll never do any of that again!

I am delighted to finally be rid of white bloody polo shirts though. Have already gathered them up and ceremoniously chucked them in the bin.

Cherryana · 20/07/2021 20:06

Well for me, its made me reflect on the passing of time and what has happened since he started primary. But its also a happy time because its time for him to move on - its part of growing up.

Original poster
PollyBlue6 · 20/07/2021 20:10

Well this has made me feel so much better.
Thank you Grin

I think it helps that she isn't that bothered. It might all change when she actually leaves and walks out so we shall see.

OP posts: