To want a PA?

[MargeGoesBowling]

I’m busy, much like everyone else. I don’t have a particularly unusual amount on my plate, but I constantly seem to spend my evenings and weekends doing life admin. Friends and family seem to experience this too.

I work full time. We’re ib in the middle of buying a house/organising movers/dealing with solicitors/life assurance etc. Also in the middle of another legal issue dealing with a legacy problem linked to a previous inheritance. DH is looking after that one, but still needs me to speak to the solicitor (we need to show we’ve both had legal advice), search for and provide documents that only I have access to (personal bank statements going back a number of years), my car insurance is due for renewal so trying to get quotes but everyone insists on a phone call during office hours rather than just letting me do it all online at the weekend, our dog is very ill so there’s regular vet appointments (shared between me and DH), also trying to organise home help for my parent but proving problematic. Then the usual life stuff- shopping, cleaning, trying to book doctors appointments, needing to get the oven cleaned etc.

I outsource what I can- shopping online, had a cleaner up until Covid, DH does his fair share (he has a similar list as the one I’ve given above, and he also works full time and household tasks are 50/50) but it’s just constant.

I’m not saying “oooh, I’m soooo much busier than everyone else”, I’m just saying I would happily pay for someone to take on some of this shit for me, especially the stuff that involves endless phone calls during the day. Or even just the small things like someone to buy birthday cards and gifts for my nieces and nephews and actually post them on time would be very handsomely rewarded. Or someone who will come to my house and just take over the phone when I’m on hold so I can get something else done while I’m waiting?

And this is lighthearted, before the barrage of “you have as many hours in the day as Beyoncé” posts start. Yes, I have the time, I just don’t want to spend it doing shitty, boring life admin. I’m competent, I’m organised, I’m just bored of constantly having to deal with STUFF.

Am I being unreasonable to think that a lot of people would pay to have a PA in the same way as they’d pay for a cleaner or takeaway?

I keep saying this to DP, we need a lot of minor pieces of work done around the house and trying to arrange them all is a part time job in itself and tradespeople seem to only do phone rather than email which limits when you can contact them. I wish I had a PA to sort it all for me!

Ad-hoc private PAs have been around for decades. You can employ one from full time to a few hours (booking appointments, dealing with builders, sorting your photos, organising your holidays).

Nothing wrong with that!
No shame on being busy, or just wanting to delegate. If you can afford it, nothing wrong in employing any help you might need and spend your days suntanning or at the gym if you want to.

Women (mainly women) need to learn there's nothing wrong with employing the help you need and delegate.

I’m a virtual PA and a lot of people think my job is as a PA for those rubbing businesses etc but the majority of work comes from families who just need all their life admin sorting. Absolutely promise you there are people to do it!

@FrankButchersDickieBow

Well it's completely up to you. But you are making tasks that take a little amount of time, sound like insurmountable chores.

technically washing my cars, my windows, my rubbish bins, mowing my lawn... are all small tasks.

I am not doing any of them, and people make a living out of people like me. Win win.

This is exactly the service I do for people - Lifestyle Management. For example gift buying- they send me a list of dates, names, addresses etc and Budget and I source, wrap and send gifts with cards.

Also book, travel, research stuff, get quotes, input the online shop and so much more. You can purchase packages of hours or a certain service depending on your needs. Just takes some of the stress out of people’s lives. 😊

YANBU - just expect to pay £20 an hour plus for a PA/ admin manager

I have a PA and he books my flights, argues with British Gas from 3500 miles away and generally tells me what to do. It IS bliss.

@FrankButchersDickieBow

Well it's completely up to you. But you are making tasks that take a little amount of time, sound like insurmountable chores.

I don’t think I’ve made any of these out to be “insurmountable”. Also, dealing with house purchases and legal/medical stuff takes a lot of time. That’s just fact. It’s the small amounts of times taken frequently that bother me. I wouldn’t mind dedicating a day to say, the legal issue, and getting it sorted. But it’s the fact that it means maybe 2 calls for 10 mins each on Monday, 40 mins spent looking for documents Monday night, 5 mins for a phone call on Tuesday morning, then nothing for two weeks, then a 40 minute phone call and the need to spend an hour on hold to the bank because the document that the solicitor now wants isn’t available via online banking any more and I need to get the bank to issue it.

And back into the cycle of calls taken on stolen breaks from work and evenings spent emailing.

It’s all that shit.

Same with the home help. I spend 40 minutes talking to my parent and we agree XYZ, then it’s 30 minutes trying to get through to the GP. A day’s wait for them to eventually ring me back to say that yes, they have the referral ready and will post it ASAP. Then three days later I’m back again and oh yes, it definitely went this morning. Same thing a week later. At which stage my parent has completely forgotten that we had the discussion and now we’re back to square one in agreeing to get support in. And that means that the 3 hours I’ve spent talking to four different home help agencies to get one that I think will suit the best is all in vein.

Repeat by 50 kazillion.

My job is one of those ones where you have to be super organised and have your shit together, and I do and am like that by nature, but it’s the inability to just get shit done in a timely and joined-up way that drives me mad.

Anyway @FrankButchersDickieBow, you’re obviously a much more organised and capable person then me so well done you. Gold star for you. It’s under this biscuit.

@teass and the rest! I was employed with pension on £30 an hour as a PA to a HNW family with the option of accommodation. Self employed VA’s surely charge more!

It's the little and often and bittiness of it all. For example I still haven't sent nursery photos of DC to the grandparents.. the amount of effort is ridiculous.. Order photos of DC by phone. Pay for photos online. Pick up photos. Cut up photos. Stuff into 3 envelopes. Purchase 2 cards for the envelopes to go in the post. Decide which photos to give to which relatives (stuck on this step due to my mum arguing the toss ) .. Write addresses on envelopes. Write cards. Final step, take to Post Office which means driving for 10m, queuing for 30 minutes, driving 10m home again.

Where to find these magical people?!!

I apologise if I came across harsh!! I don't want a biscuit as I've not long had my evening meal, but thank you.

I am going through a fairly similar situation to you funnily enough.

Me and dh work full time, ill parents - one with incurable cancer. We are buying and selling a house so understand chasing solicitors. Also daughter with mental health and anxiety issues - have you tried to get a decent child counsellor in this current climate?

It sounds like you're stressed and a PA is a good idea for someone who needs assistance with tasks.

I don't know why you are being so defensive. Just hire someone!

You have the biscuit back.

YANBU but they'd need you to pass security anyway so maybe not? This will pass and then you won't need one anyway if this is a short-term thing? A third party couldn't agree to, for example, my car insurance renewal?

They'd be constantly asking questions so you'd be busy anyway?!

You can hire online ones.

@Yesitsbess

I do this for my customers, as well as housekeeping/cleaning, I do gardening, and one off or general administration, organising messy houses, entertaining visiting MIL's with local tours and naice coffee shops, you name it! One of my customers refers to me as her 'hired wife'

What you do is exactly what I’m planning on evolving into over the next year or so! Currently cleaning, have a background in PA/admin/finance … an excellent plate spinner and preventer of dropped ball situations (pre-covid).

Is if there is a modern and socially acceptable alternative to the expression Girl Friday?

Dreadful typos!

[quote 21Bee]@teass and the rest! I was employed with pension on £30 an hour as a PA to a HNW family with the option of accommodation. Self employed VA’s surely charge more![/quote]
Yes I did think that £20 an hour was perhaps a bit low - it was what I was on about 10 years ago now!

I would have thought the issue here is the length of time for the PA to get up to speed on the intricacies of the situation and for all those involved to accept the authority of the PA

@Coffemakesmehappy

It's a surprisingly natural evolution from cleaning weirdly! I've seen the state of your bathrooms, bring on the paperwork...

@Yesitsbess

I do this for my customers, as well as housekeeping/cleaning, I do gardening, and one off or general administration, organising messy houses, entertaining visiting MIL's with local tours and naice coffee shops, you name it! One of my customers refers to me as her 'hired wife'

Do you live in london? I need someone exactly like you!!

I have my own business
My PA works on both my business and personal stuff

[quote Yesitsbess]@Coffemakesmehappy

It's a surprisingly natural evolution from cleaning weirdly! I've seen the state of your bathrooms, bring on the paperwork...[/quote]
You’re making me miss my cleaner.

She didn’t just clean, she also tidied. She charged by the hour so I’d always factor in time for her to just make my house beautiful. She would tidy and organise and just generally make life easier. Things that I wouldn’t even think of for a cleaner to do like refilling the teabag jar, emptying the dryer lint drawer. Later, it extended to her also becoming our dog walker (her suggestion as I had told her I was looking for one- she’s super fit and loved walking so said it was the easiest money ever).
All completely above-board and for a decent hourly rate. It worked so well for all of us.

I definitely think she’s someone I’d happily hand my car insurance details and credit card over to and let her just sort it.

She moved back to her home country, permanently, when Covid hit and I was so sad to see her go.

Definitely get a cleaner back. I know how devastating it is to lose a great one, and the admin involved in finding a new one starts to feel like yet another insurmountable task.... but force yourself if you can because a) that will free up a lot of time and b) that will make your environment so much nicer (DH, bless him, keeps coming in after the cleaners and saying, "I don't know what they actually do but it's just so much nicer in here" (they don't do bathrooms or bedding but focus on dusting, cleaning, vacuuming, polishing, tidying etc).

Also, now wondering if I can use my virtual PA, who I pay for but via my business, for family gifts. This would LITERALLY change my life. But technically, that's not a business expense and also I'm not sure how she'd take that -she's definitely a PA for businesses not families. But god, it would be a lifesaver.

@IHopeYouStepOnALegoPiece

I’m a virtual PA and a lot of people think my job is as a PA for those rubbing businesses etc but the majority of work comes from families who just need all their life admin sorting. Absolutely promise you there are people to do it!

I’m so pleased I’ve found this thread as I’m desperate for a life PA!

I feel the same as you OP. My admin list is never done, it’s bitty and boring, lots of it needs to be done during working hours which means I spend at least a half hour per day of my working day making personal calls, leaving messages, calling back, etc etc. I hate it.

@IHopeYouStepOnALegoPiece do angels like you manage people’s health appointments, pay bills, deal with the sort of personal/ potentially sensitive stuff which might need sign off from me?

Puppysharness I (and can only speak for myself obviously) will deal with anything you’re comfortable with me dealing with. I deal with bills, sensitive medical info, booking appointments, signing up to new utility companies/finding the best deals, calling or emailing companies for various reasons (billing problems, item problems, queries), banking, shopping, returns, deliveries, posting items.

Most people, certainly after a short while, are happy to just give me all the info I need and just let me crack on but others either deal with that themselves or for example, log me into a system then let me book appointments (rather then give me log in info)

I’ll do whatever the client is comfortable with.

In my contract I have a privacy clause that states I will never share or use any sensitive information I have been given