Severe guilt over dc and TV

[Littlepool]

DC 4 had Covid 2 weeks ago and passed it onto DH and I last week. We have both been pretty sick with it, especially the last 3 days. Neither of us have any family close by to help look after DC so we've had to resort to letting DC sit and watch the TV for most of the day while DH and I take it in turns to lay on the sofa and one in the bed trying to recover.

I know we really have no other choice but it's killing me to know that DC has barely had any engagement from either of us the past couple of days and I feel like a horrible parent. I seem to be feeling slightly better tonight so I'm hoping tomorrow will be a better day for DC. The fatigue is like nothing I have ever experienced!

Aibu to ask how other families coped in similar situations? How did you manage the guilt?

I hope you feel better soon, sounds awful! However, you’re being a huge drama llama about the TV. Your child will be fine. The great thing about guilt is you can choose not to feel guilty. You’re sick, your child is safe and loved and supervised; you’re doing what you can.

Stop being so hard on yourself you nutter! You are ill! You are obviously a very conscientious parent and your child will be absolutely fine watching tv for a week while you recover.

I put huge efforts into my girls at that age day trips worthy activities etc. Asked them now teens what they remembered the other day. Blank looks.

A bit of telly won't hurt her / him whilst you all recover. You need to cut yourself some slack and concentrate on getting well lovie. Children understand more than we realise. Get well soon.

You are being utterly ridiculous!

When my parents caught a stomach bug from us, I remember my parents putting on a VHS tape to keep us entertained whilst they rested. Didn't do us any harm for a few days, and it won't do your child any harm either.

You might feel like a horrible parent, but you're obviously not. I'm sure DC was still fed, washed, dressed, watered etc? Sometimes, you just have to do what you can manage. It's for a limited time, try not to make yourself feel worse then you already do.

It’s fine, it is a season, it isn’t their life.

Remember there are some children who live their whole childhood like that and how fortunate your child is that this is not the norm for them. Sorry if that sounds harsh, it isn’t meant harshly. I’m sure you are doing the best you are capable of for your child at this time.

I was laughing with my DH the other day, saying remember back in 2019 when I actually worried about how much screen time the kids had?! You need to do what you need to survive. You're not going to be like this forever.

God don't worry about it. I had to work with no childcare when DD was little and she watched about 3 hours a day everyday for over a year. She is 16 now and absolutely normal and very intelligent.

than

They will be fine! You need to rest and get better.
When we had covid we literally did as little as we could get away with, granted DD was 4 months old so didn't really know the difference.

A lot of the concerns about children watching TV are around developmental delay which doesn't happen in a few days - it's usually longer term and a case of extended lack of engagement from parent/carer rather than a few days of tele. Stop worrying! X

Thanks for the reassurance. It's definitely helped. I probably do need to chill a bit more. I've been trying to ram as many activities in to our weeks as possible due to being locked up for so long the past year so watching DC sit there in front of a screen again instead of enjoying the summer brought back that horrible helpless feeling from the first lockdown. I just hope she can understand it's temporary and won't last forever this time.

I cannot believe you have not had energy to play battleships or bake!!? Make paper mache? Or finger painting? Put up some dens at least!!!

OP you are allowed to get sick and your DC have probably enjoy some time relaxing and being at home with you and your DH! Don't feel guilty

Hope you feel better soon x

She’s probably enjoying it mine quite lazy at that age and would always opt to stay at home and watch tv given the option! They now active sporty teens. Please don’t feel bad you really don’t need to.

She's probably enjoying the down time in this heat.

It's all about balance, what do you think the rest of us do with no support full stop!!
My dc watched too much TV but I also know they did loads more actives, days out than many many peers

I just had a similar week! I hope you feel much better soon.

We don't ever have any help either, our families live abroad and have met DC twice thanks to covid. This is the first time we have both been sick at the same time so we've never really had this issue before.

I don't really have an issue with watching TV it's the fact that's all she has done for the past 3 days. I feel almost neglectful in a way. Although she is clean, fed and watered so her basic needs are being met.

You’re not well! It’s not as if you just can’t be bothered to do anything else.

She probably thinks it’s great, everyone loves slobbing out occasionally. Yes it would be neglectful if it was long term, but it isn’t, it’s a short term solution to a difficult situation. The fact that you’re so worried about it makes it clear you’re a good mum.

It’s totally fine if it’s because you’re ill for a few weeks! We all had Covid in Jan and had to do exactly this because of no family support abs self isolating.

Now I’ve got an ear infection and I’m not up to much interaction again. As long as you’re in the room and they’re safe it is fine. I’m not on my phone while DS watches TV, so we watch it together or I watch him play, but I can do that lying on the sofa. Relax.

When we all had covid we had a 4yo and 1yo and it was utterly horrendous trying to home school while feeling like shit and making sure the 1yo didn’t hurt herself. Tv was critical. I feel no guilt for that. There aren’t many circumstances where you can’t get any help at all when you’re ill and have to watch small children.

My mum was very unwell when I was 2/3 (hepatitis amongst other things). I have no recollection of this, no idea what I did when she had to rest all day, and just remember her being a very involved mother all my childhood! Don’t worry!