My cousins has 3 young children. 2 girls aged 11 and 8 and a boy aged 4. I have always been involved in their lives since they were babies. 3 years ago I spent nearly £300 in vehicle hire and drove over 800 miles in 4 days to move them to a home closer to us.
I have always got on with them and the kids until recently. Recently the middle daughter has been treating me so poorly I don’t want to go and see them.
It started around a year ago when the daughter was 7. She would call me names in front of people and in front of her friends she would slap me very hard and just laugh. Her friends would be shocked. I would always tell her that’s not nice and ask her not to do it again but without fail it continued. She will grab my belly and say I am fat. She will pretend to sniff me and then pretend to heave insinuating I smell. She would take my drinks and my food without asking. She mimicked the way I walk because of my disability. She does all of this constantly and usually in front of an audience.
This year she has broken several of my belongings. One night I stayed round and woke up to find my new iPad broken on the side and after a few days she admitted she dropped it. The mothers response was “you might as well take me to court as I can’t afford to pay for it”. The child was never asked to apologise. She broke a riding crop out of my car and claimed it snapped when she hit the ground but later admitted she had unwound it and snapped it. She broke my iPhone costing me close to £1000 by holding down all of the buttons and forcing a hard reset. It is now in a constant reset loop and the motherboard has fried. She never apologised for any of the above and neither did the parents. I had told her repeatedly to not touch my phone but she never listened. The phone was on charge in the room I was in so I was able to keep an eye on it, yet the moment I went to the toilet she grabbed it. I have always had money go missing from my phone case and it cannot possibly have been anyone other than her although I wished it was.
Recently things have become worse. She is beyond defiant. If you tell her no for something she says “I am” snd she will do it anyways. Her parents can tell her no and she will still do it. If she is asked to go to bed she just shakes her head and will continue to stay up until she wants to go to bed. Her parents never follow through with what they say. If she is told to go to bed and the parents get resistance they just leave it. Sometimes she says I’m not going to bed until mum goes to bed and the mother then goes to bed at 8pm. The mother is not allowed out unless the child goes with her. She never asks for anything and instead just takes what she wants. When she is told not to do something she will run to her mother and say something completely different to what has been said. If you watch her do something she will lie and say it didn’t happen and I am just accusing her. I am unsure if the mother is saying things to her to warrant this?
Yesterday it erupted. After an entire day of smirking at me whilst making comments, I had enough. I was in the garden after she had burst her brothers paddling pool. I was attempting to repair it when she walked out and snatched it from my hand. The looks and smirks she gives me when she does these things is ridiculous. I then went in and asked her mother to have a word with her. I returned to repair the paddling pool when the daughter run back out and said “mum told me told me to say sorry” and because I didn’t respond instantly she said it over and over whilst smirking at me. I responded with ok but Instead of having to apologise don’t do it. She instantly run back to the mother and said “ugh SHE said SHE doesn’t care”. She then looked back at me a grinned. I told the mother I am going home and I will not stand for this behaviour. The mother threw things on the floor and stormed off shouting “I can’t believe a 30 year old grown woman is arguing with a child”.
This made me feel like rubbish. I constantly take their children out and if I didn’t they would not go out. I spend money on the children whenever I see them. I spend my time with the children and when I do I am always positive and encouraging towards them. I have repeatedly asked the mother to correct the child’s behaviour and it never happens. The mother then turns it onto me rather than correcting the child’s behaviour. I think this is where the child gets it from.
I have been close with my cousin since I was a child and I feel gutted that this is happening. Whenever I say to him about what’s going on his response is “I’m not getting involved”. Now this is happened with the daughter and wife every time I go round I don’t want to be there.
What can I do? Is this just how children are these days? Please any suggestions would be amazing.