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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I’m I turning into a tin hatter or…

131 replies

Keeva2017 · 19/07/2021 03:32

Do you get adverts linked to conversations you’ve had?

So I have asked people IRL but can’t get a straight answer, same deal with google really.

We all know that if we search for something then we get adverts for said thing on social media. But I swear a few times this week I have had scarily specific adverts for things I know I haven’t search for. But have spoken about IRL or on watsapp.

Examples;
Went old fashioned shopping for kids trainers, didnt pre research or price check after. Suddenly getting adverts for the exact trainers.

Tonight had a convo about (forgive me I’m the mum beautiful but minging under 5’s) not sticking your finger up your bum. Que advert for a finger puppet where it says finger access is in the bum (this sounds weird but it looks legit, please don’t judge me or my children).

Daughter talking about rapunzal and me and partner wondering where the new obsession came from. Que advert for Rapunzal Lego.

At work Friday me asking about Mermaids Purse charity - Amazon toy advert for a mermaids purse.

ALL of these - Amazon?

AIBU and a conspiracy nut or is my phone and possible Amazon listening to me?

OP posts:
AllisoninWunderland · 19/07/2021 07:52

Oh and while you’re at it put a tiny piece of masking tape over your cameras too.

AllisoninWunderland · 19/07/2021 07:55

Sorry for multiple threads.

You can also turn off tracking on your phone. It’s also under settings/privacy.

AdaThorne · 19/07/2021 07:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MolG5276bvfg · 19/07/2021 08:00

Happens to my dh all the time. Convinced his phone is listening to our conversations.

Febo24 · 19/07/2021 08:00

I think it's a mix. I think you get ads for stuff you are talking/ searching for and I think it anticipates you as well. There are probably 100s of ads that you see that you don't Register because you're not thinking about it, but the one thing makes a connection and it spooks you.

If I turn the mic off, does that impact the phone?

thisplaceisweird · 19/07/2021 08:01

It's actually much cleverer than that.

Based on your locations they know who you hang out with. And they know what the people you hang out with have bought or searched for recently, and they know where your interests connect, e.g. little girls toys.

Febo24 · 19/07/2021 08:01

I got a sexual health ad the other day though, perhaps it's my stbxh algorithm?? Grin

thisplaceisweird · 19/07/2021 08:06

Do you have an Alexa at home? Every time you ask her for something it uses that information go build a picture of who you are and then predict what you might like, this along with data on where you've been (which is accurate enough to know wjst shops you've visited) as well as anything you watch on YouTube, look at or click on the internet (even how long you spend looking at a specific area of a webpage) and anything you like or save or follow on social media.

That builds a very complex and detailed picture of you. They match that up with people in your network (e.g people who are with you frequently) or they match with people just like you and it's easy to predict relevant things to advertise

Original poster
Keeva2017 · 19/07/2021 08:10

Slightly embarrassed that I didn’t have to share the fingers in bum story 😆. Ah well. At least I’m not way of the mark with this. It really does worry me considering the big companies denial. Not that these massive corporations are known for their 100% honesty but the invasion of privacy is massive.

Yes we do have an Alexa but it’s with dp’s account so not sure how that would be the culprit plus some of these conversations happened at work.

So so weird for those of you that have seen adverts for things you were thinking about (off I pop to make a hat out of foil).

OP posts:
junebirthdaygirl · 19/07/2021 08:10

My dh rarely drinks but with the heat he started having a few beers every evening. I mentioned something about it and his reply was ..don't worry l am not an alcoholic or anything. Immediately an ad popped up on my phone for an alcoholic treatment centre. I had never seen a similar ad. It was spooky..
Also my ds was buying a new suit for interviews. I stood with him at the window of the shop just for a moment discussing the ones on display. I went off to other shops then while he purchased. All evening l got ads for menswear/ shirts etc. Too close for comfort!

Original poster
Keeva2017 · 19/07/2021 08:12

@Terhou sorry in my defence I think it was about 3am I posted this but correction taken.

OP posts:
Cakeofdoom · 19/07/2021 08:14

My DH had a fairly serious but specific illness a few years ago, had only discussed it with medics and myself. A day after surgery his travel insurers emailed and said they were aware of a change in his circumstances and needed to review his policy and mentioned the illness. This is just one instance of hundreds of others where phones collect listened to data and send it back to god knows who

RealBecca · 19/07/2021 08:17

Yes, you can turn off your mic amd turn off tatgetted ads in amazon and Google. You can also adjust your cookies to functional only- sometimes you have to select another tab called Legitimate Interest to turn off optional cookies. Still doesnt solve it.

Oh, and when you check on google if something is open and you see the graph showing how busy it the venue is compared to normal and how l9ng people normally spend here.... that's also based on phone tracking.

FightingtheFoo · 19/07/2021 08:41

I went into a chemist, picked up a toy (they have a toy aisle) showed it to my husband and put it back. I'm not sure I ever said the name of that toy. Later that day I got an advert on my phone for that chemist WITH THE TOY IN THE PICTURE.

KingdomScrolls · 19/07/2021 08:46

DH and I tested this, we do not have a dog have no reason to talk about them etc. Sat and had a few minutes conversation about wanting a dog with our phones close by to see what would happen, from that day for at least a week we were both getting ads for dogs' trust, dog food, dog training books, puppy pads etc. They definitely listen

GrumpyTerrier · 19/07/2021 08:46

Your phone knows where you’ve been, who you’ve sat near, what they’ve been looking at on the internet. It knows all the other things you’ve looked at

Yep. I was sceptical but it has happened too many times now.

So many people freaking out about vaccines being used to harvest our data when our phones already track us, ID us, know what we do, where we go, who we talk to, what we are interested in, what we buy, how often we exercise, what our health issues are, what we study, what we plan, where we travel, our incomes, our expenditures, where we live....

Iggly · 19/07/2021 08:50

@Ratalie

I don't believe it's happening, no. It would be illegal in most countries, has been denied by the big tech companies, and analyzing that amount of data would be a really inefficient way of tracking peoples interests (compared to simply tracking your browsing history).

There have been occasions where something seemed so coincidental that I thought there was something to it, but its also happened when I've thought (but not spoken) about something. I suspect there's a lot of confirmation bias at play.

Well I’m sorry but what has our government done to try and tackle big tech? Big tech tend to go ahead and do things, and it’s only after the fact that they stop if people kick off about it.
Iggly · 19/07/2021 08:52

@Keeva2017

Slightly embarrassed that I didn’t have to share the fingers in bum story 😆. Ah well. At least I’m not way of the mark with this. It really does worry me considering the big companies denial. Not that these massive corporations are known for their 100% honesty but the invasion of privacy is massive.

Yes we do have an Alexa but it’s with dp’s account so not sure how that would be the culprit plus some of these conversations happened at work.

So so weird for those of you that have seen adverts for things you were thinking about (off I pop to make a hat out of foil).

Devices are traceable by location - so any device in the vicinity can be crossed checked. They’ll probably know enough to work out where you live and who you live with etc.
QueenAdreena · 19/07/2021 08:52

Was the finger in bum thing a worm puppet? I saw that this morning, definitely haven’t been talking to anyone about putting anything in their bum.

Iwantamarshmallowman · 19/07/2021 09:03

This happens to me all the time. I'm convinced my phone is spying on me.

Iggly · 19/07/2021 09:05

There’s a story in the guardian about using software to take over mobile phones - and it’s almost undetectable. So the tech is there!

the80sweregreat · 19/07/2021 09:09

Phones are definitely listening in to everything.

Highfive2021 · 19/07/2021 09:16

Yep - when we moved into our house the old doors had the glass handles that look like paperweights, my phone then suggested the very same things on eBay, so random.

WTFisNext · 19/07/2021 09:33

If you have a smart device (TV, phone, speaker, tablet etc) then part of the T&Cs is that they're automatically set to track everything. They don't hide that this happens, they clearly lay it out for you when you click "Agree". Same with internet cookies.

The first thing I do when we get any device is to turn off all audio tracking, sometimes other tracking gets turned off too but that's device and purpose dependent (for example I'm happy for GPS tracking on my phone because I use it for tracking my running...that's my choice not theirs).

As for thinking of things and them appearing as ads...this is precisely why the big companies data mine. We give them so much information that they can with reasonable accuracy predict your trends ahead of you anticipating them.

This is the specific reason that people are concerned with the idea of data being opened up on the NHS. It's undoubtable that allowing universal access to data trends on health can lead to better anticipated health service planning overall...however it's more likely that the data will be used to marginalise and restrict access to healthcare (complete derail but the healthcare bill being proposed is fucking terrifying from this perspective).

Iggly · 19/07/2021 09:42

@the80sweregreat

Phones are definitely listening in to everything.
Every now and then, a little green circle flicks on the screen of my iPhone - turns out it’s the microphone and an app is using it - but I don’t know which one! This is when it’s just sat on the side.

I’m seriously debating turning my phone off every now and then.