Child maintainance

WonkyWardrobe · 2021-07-18T21:40:18+00:00

Not so much an aibu, but a question about child maintainance. I've finally plucked up the courage to raise the question of child maintainance from exP, who doesn't dispute the amount however wants me to go through CMS despite the charge so he can find out how much I earn. Will CMS tell him this? I don't particularly have an issue with it, or have anything to hide but it just feels like another way for him to try exert dominance over me as he's said he looks forward to finding out and "it had better not be wrong". Will CMS require any other info from me that they will pass on to him?

Getawaywithit · 18/07/2021 22:42

No. He won’t find out how much you earn. Don’t worry. He’s an idiot if he wants to pay more - more money than sense, clearly.

Amiaeful86 · 18/07/2021 22:43

As someone who has just been through CMS they CMS don’t even ask how much you earn or even if you are working as it’s not even considered in the calculation so let him pay the fee as he won’t get any of your details from it

Original poster

WonkyWardrobe · 18/07/2021 22:44

This is what I've pointed out to him, I've also estimated his income on the lower end on the calculator, so if he does earn more (and Its likely he does) he's shot himself in the foot again.

OP posts:

DeflatedGinDrinker · 18/07/2021 23:27

No of course they don't tell him

LaurieFairyCake · 18/07/2021 23:33

They won't tell him

And you're really going to enjoy this

0DETTE · 18/07/2021 23:40

CMS won’t even ask you how much you earn or how much you have in the bank. It’s all about HIS income.

They will even check with you if it’s ok for them to tell him your name ( if you’ve changed it ) or give him your bank details.

CMS will check with HMRC to see what his income is - it’s not based on how much you estimate that he earns. So don’t worry if you’ve got that wrong.

There won’t be any charge if he pays up every month . They write to you both and tell you how much he has to pay.

Original poster

WonkyWardrobe · 18/07/2021 23:49

Oh thats nice to know

It's clearly getting to him as he's now trying to up contact time with DD and has decided he would like her 7 days a week if she's too much for me and I can't afford her. He's also got concerns about me looking after her that he didn't have when I picked her up at lunch time

OP posts:

0DETTE · 18/07/2021 23:54

Ah so he’s done the calculation on the CMS website and discovered it’s based on the number of nights he has her!

MummytoCSJH · 19/07/2021 00:04

They don't even ask, it's nothing to do with your income only his!

QueenBee52 · 19/07/2021 00:06

@WonkyWardrobe

Oh thats nice to know

It's clearly getting to him as he's now trying to up contact time with DD and has decided he would like her 7 days a week if she's too much for me and I can't afford her. He's also got concerns about me looking after her that he didn't have when I picked her up at lunch time

he's trying to gain 50/50 where he pays nothing..

beware 🌸

QueenBee52 · 19/07/2021 00:07

or an attempt at full custody in the future and you pay him cms 🌸

Original poster

WonkyWardrobe · 19/07/2021 00:09

The amount of maintainance is actually a pittance and he can well afford it (he gets his wage topped up by his employer in cash, its a a bit dodgy, so he earns a lot more than here know about ). He already has DD 3 nights some weeks (it's probably closer to 2 to 3 nights a week) and he had been offered extra nights to make it truly 50/50 if he wanted that, but it doesn't fit in with his work and I don't want to be put out to facilitate him earning extra cash in hand. Mention maintainance and he's turned into superdad and wants DD full time, he's also become quite the detective as apparently "I know what you get up to". Not sure what I get up to but hey ho.

OP posts:

QueenBee52 · 19/07/2021 00:11

If he's paid cash in hand.. this will affect the assessment .. your Child will lose out 🌸

Original poster

WonkyWardrobe · 19/07/2021 00:11

He would struggle to do 50/50, and certainly couldn't manage to have DD full time. He has another daughter with court ordered shared custody and he couldn't manage that when we were together and certainly can't now.

OP posts:

Original poster

WonkyWardrobe · 19/07/2021 00:14

@QueenBee52

If he's paid cash in hand.. this will affect the assessment .. your Child will lose out 🌸

I'm torn on this, I guess I could report hid employer to HMRC but what he gets paid legitimately would possibly leaving him struggling financially if his cash stopped. And then DD misses out with her dad because he doesn't have the extra money. However, if everything was paid legitimately, I would be entitled to considerably more, but his employer wouldn't pay him the full amount through "the books" if that makes sense? I'm a bit torn on how to deal with that bit.

OP posts:

QueenBee52 · 19/07/2021 00:38

I'm torn on this, I guess I could report hid employer to HMRC but what he gets paid legitimately would possibly leaving him struggling financially if his cash stopped. And then DD misses out with her dad because he doesn't have the extra money. However, if everything was paid legitimately, I would be entitled to considerably more, but his employer wouldn't pay him the full amount through "the books" if that makes sense? I'm a bit torn on how to deal with that bit.

I understand ..

you're very generous 🌸