That, really. I am head of a small, high pressure department. I appointed a deputy three years ago, pre Covid. They pushed for a high salary, which I concurred because they are very good at their job. A few months went by, all good. At that stage they have a second child, and push for another big pay rise. Again, I recommend it, as I don’t want to lose them, they are very good at their job. Immediately they book a huge chunk of time off as parental leave and holiday, I think OK, new baby. This is early 2019. Then the unplanned absences start, and they go on and on, to the point the deputy has never worked a full five day week, which they are paid a huge whack for. Pre Covid, every week there’s something with child care etc so they have to be off. None of the other working parents seems to need to do this. Then comes Covid. We are key workers so they are supposed to be in during the pandemic. Again, they’ve never put in a full week in the entire time. No-one in their family has had Covid, it’s always childcare issues. They have a partner who works full time. They have no family to help nearby.
I have been supportive because I felt it was the right thing to do. But: it is putting a huge burden on me and at least one other person in our small team who have to fill the gap. My kids are grown and gone so don’t have these issues but I do have a close family member who is seriously ill and the work stress is getting to me such that my health has taken a hit. My deputy is meant to support me but it seems entirely the other way around. They never say thank you or sorry about the situation. They are very good at their job WHEN they are there so I hesitate to take it further. AIBU to feel that while I am sympathetic, this isn’t on?Any suggestions for dealing with this in a way that would be fair to all?