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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Why do I feel guilty ringing in sick?

26 replies

MakeMineALarge1 · 18/07/2021 17:17

I am due in work tomorrow, I have a genuine reason for not going in, but I can't ring in, I feel guilty as I know they are short staffed and this will add to it.
Why do some people ring in at the drop of a hat for very small issues, yet when I have a genuine issue I don't.
I accept I am probably a bit of a martyr.

OP posts:

Derrymum123 · 18/07/2021 17:19

Because you have a conscience and are probably a team player who doesn't take the Mickey.

GreyhoundG1rl · 18/07/2021 17:19

No, you have a decent work ethic. Just ring in if it's genuine and unavoidable.

CliftonGreenYork · 18/07/2021 17:46

"Genuine Reason"? Are you sick?

TakeYourFinalPosition · 18/07/2021 17:56

Is the genuine reason sickness? Or something else that means you have to miss work for a good reason, but maybe is making you feel a bit bad about phoning in sick?

I hate it too, I think it’s a work ethic thing, but it’s not too bad when I’m genuinely too ill to go. I’ve always found if I really deliberate the phone call and don’t want to do it, I’m probably not poorly enough to be off, but that’s very likely to be a me thing!

Make the call, if you have to be off. It’s one of those things. Unavoidable, and therefore any chaos it causes is unavoidable too, but at least they’ll be able to plan if you call as soon as you’re able.

Original poster

MakeMineALarge1 · 18/07/2021 18:03

@CliftonGreenYork
I don't feel physically sick or poorly but I have an open wound that cannot be covered and I work in a clinical environment

OP posts:

CliftonGreenYork · 18/07/2021 18:08

Then you can't go into work and just need to call in. I totally understand how you feel and would feel the same. Few years ago I has sepsis and was in intensive care on hospital ward - even then I felt really bad calling in sick to work. Some people have no issue with it and even take lots of fake sickies, you are genuine and should feel no guilt.

girlmom21 · 18/07/2021 18:11

Some people just don't have a good work ethic.
You do which is why you feel guilty!

MrsMonkeyBear · 18/07/2021 18:25

I hate phoning in sick, I work in a really small team and I'm often the first person in. If I'm out that fucks the whole team for the day.

I start work at 6am so it also involves 4.30am phone calls if I am ill, unless I'm ill the day before.

I've been know to drag myself in and do what I can to help set up and then go home again, just so I don't feel so guilty.

Elsielouise13 · 18/07/2021 18:46

I’ll be calling in sick tomorrow, have CV symptoms and a positive LF. Waiting for PCR. It is illegal for me to go to work and I’m one of the Directors but I still felt guilty texting my deputy an hour ago.

I also know there will be several people also off sick for a whole range of reasons that most of us would raise an eyebrow with. People are just different.

Stuckhere2021 · 18/07/2021 18:49

[quote MakeMineALarge1]@CliftonGreenYork
I don't feel physically sick or poorly but I have an open wound that cannot be covered and I work in a clinical environment[/quote]
YABU if you don’t phone in sick if you genuinely can’t cover an open wound in a clinical environment. If the wound gets infected you could be off much longer eventually.

AlaskaThunderfuckHiiiiiiiii · 18/07/2021 19:32

I know what you mean OP. I’ve never been off sick for myself but have had to take time off lots with the children. I always feel so guilty as I work for the NHS in the community and know what a pain it can be moving visits around last minute but it can’t be helped. I keep some AL days back for such times

HeyDemonsItsYaGirl · 18/07/2021 19:36

For me I'm sure it goes back to school where I would fake being ill to get a day off sometimes. Now I only call in sick when I actually am, but I still get that guilty going-to-be-found-out feeling.

3scape · 18/07/2021 19:38

I've felt particularly bad when I've felt ok but I've had to go along with policy before. I hope you're healed up soon

DeflatedGinDrinker · 19/07/2021 01:11

I hate calling in sick. My colleague calls in sick with a migraine while I'm at my desk with a migraine and having to go to the toilet to be sick.

upthekyber · 19/07/2021 02:10

What makes you think every other person who phones in isn't genuine? that is you answer because it's not that you feel guilty (it is, you do, as does almost everyone else who phones in) but that you realise you are as genuine as everyone else but who will believe? you as you think everyone else is skiving.
Take this as a lesson that people do get ill abs some more than others.

HollaHolla · 19/07/2021 02:25

@DeflatedGinDrinker

I hate calling in sick. My colleague calls in sick with a migraine while I'm at my desk with a migraine and having to go to the toilet to be sick.

Illness isn’t competitive. Some might say ‘more fool you’, for not calling in sick yourself. It’s all about what each of us can manage. For example, my colleague took 8 weeks off with a broken ankle, when I thought she’d have been able to work perfectly fine from home. However, she felt she couldn’t do that, and called in sick. Had to respect her choice, whether I agreed with it, or not.

Jent13c · 19/07/2021 02:46

I went to work12 w after having my baby due to a redundancy and my work scheduled me to finish night shift on the Monday morning and be back in on Tuesday at 0700. I thought it was normal being new until I spoke to the other staff and realised that no other nurse would have accepted that and they wouldn't have scheduled it. I thought I could manage and gave myself mastitis trying to time pumps from night to day shift and was still trying to get in to cover my shift as I didn't want to leave the team short even though I had a fever of 40 degrees and was sat in the bath with hot flannels 90% of the time. My DH put his foot down and told me not to be ridiculous.

I was very apologetic until they made me sign a form on return about 'the impact of calling in sick and how it affects the team'. I made it incredibly clear that it wouldn't have happened if they had taken into account my health as a nursing mother when scheduling shifts.

There are obviously some people thst take advantage of sick leave policies but thats up to their manager to deal with, not for the team to gossip about. Theres a reason why we self certify...if you are not fit to work you are not fit and you should not be made to feel guilty about that. Hopefully covid has made us see that people shouldn't be made out to be heros for coming in when they should be recovering at home.

AngeloMysterioso · 19/07/2021 03:10

You feel bad because the UK as a whole has this ridiculous you-must-go-in-to-work-unless-you’re-literally-on-your-death-bed culture. If the last year has taught us anything it’s that presenteeism at the expense of our health is absolute bullshit.

bluetongue · 19/07/2021 03:40

I feel guilty too.

Off sick today as had my second Pfizer jab yesterday and woke up with chills at 2am. Feel okayish after taking paracetamol and could probably have made it in but likely would have ended up going home early. Don’t think going to work with a fever is good look at the moment.

JesusIsAnyNameFree · 19/07/2021 03:53

@DeflatedGinDrinker

I hate calling in sick. My colleague calls in sick with a migraine while I'm at my desk with a migraine and having to go to the toilet to be sick.

Don't we all? However, migraines can vary massively. Sometimes I just have little spots in my vision or zigzag patterns combined with a fairly bad headache and needing to vomit and can definitely work with that, though I won't be able to see everything on the computer, while other times I feel like I have an actual ice pick stuck in my eye and can't see 15 cm infront of my face. Luckily I haven't had one of those on a weekday in many, many years, but if I did, I simply could not stay at work and I certainly couldn't drive into work.

Orf1abc · 19/07/2021 09:13

Why do some people ring in at the drop of a hat for very small issues, yet when I have a genuine issue I don't.

Is it because you're worried others are as judgmental as you?

Snog · 19/07/2021 09:17

I agree it's more than likely that because you are sceptical about other people being genuinely sick you assume others will be sceptical of you.

This could also be the culture where you work, a culture of mistrust and suspicion.

pinatastick · 19/07/2021 09:39

I always feel like this.

I've seen the way others are talked about when they ring in sick- management question how genuine it is (behind their backs of course!) moan about how hard it is to arrange cover etc. If people go to them during the day to say they're not well and need to leave they're told no- even if they have covid symptoms!

Wjevtvha · 19/07/2021 09:44

I feel like like this and I think it’s from when I was a child I could only miss school if I was really ill (mainly because my parents couldn’t miss work) so I have that mindset that I shouldn’t call in sick.

Couldhavebeenme2 · 19/07/2021 09:46

I've genuinely knackered my back, buzzing on drugs prescribed by A&E doctor, can't sit/stand/lie comfortably, can't drive, can barely see straight when the drugs kick in. I know it's a mental week at work, and I also know 2 other team members are off with completely genuine illnesses.

There is zero chance I can face a full day of my regular duties, and no chance of light duties even if could get there. I'm heading for a sick note tomorrow, first one in 35 years working. Fortunate to have incredibly healthy kids who had keyworker places in school throughout covid.

Feel guilty as fuck. Mad isn't it?

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