What’s the most annoying person who’s encountered on public transport?

[zaraaraz]

On Friday I had a woman loudly demand a seat, the man sat at the table gave up his seat for her.

She then told the woman sitting there that she was glad as had studying to do, told her what she was studying (learning a language) and that she was so advanced she was taking her first and second year at the same time.

She then proceeded to talk into her phone loudly in the other language making voice notes on her phone.

Drunk man pissing himself on the bus on my first trip to London

The guy who was a "magician" who decided to do tricks up and down the carriage to lighten the mood on a delayed train. It did not lighten the mood.

If anyone is from Edinburgh you’ve probably met Mandy. She’s totally harmless but a bugger to be stuck with on a long journey. I’ve saved several tourists from Mandy😂

Group of women on the Inverness to London sleeper train, in the seated compartment. Behaved like a bunch of sugar-filled 9-year-olds on their first ever sleepover. Would not sit down, would not shut up, all changed into pyjamas and fluffy slippers which they argued about and then tried to get other passengers to weigh in on, then tried to get everyone to join in a 2am singalong, on and on and on.

I’ve been on trains with aggressive people and drunk people and once a weird bloke and his girlfriend who laughed at me for reading a book(?) and then threatened me with “I’ll fucking tear your hair out” for not laughing too(??). But at least none of them were dancing down the aisle at 3am singing Sex on the Beach out of tune.

Not so much annoying as utterly terrifying. Last January I had to get the train to London for work. On our last leg out to Brentford a man and his wife got on and she ODed on multiple substances unknown. He was screaming at her and shaking her, then threatening to beat up the poor doctor who happened to be on the train and gave her mouth to mouth if he fucking touched his wife again.

The paramedics came and she eventually walked off the train under her own steam but it was stopped for about an hour and was horrific.

The man who was rubbing his crotch against my thigh on the underground when I was a student.

Unfortunately for him I was wearing steel toe capped DMs (as was the fashion of the day). I looked him in the eye, smiled sweetly and kicked him hard in the shin. He hobbled off at the next stop.

Dirty bugger...

I have loads. A pervert who sat next to a much younger me and kept asking me questions about who I lived with. Next time he asked to sit next to me I said no and moved. There were empty seats in front and to the side of me he could have taken so no medical need to be next to me.

The woman who painted her nails on a 4 seater table on the train.

A lad from my old school who got into a fight with the bus driver and held us all up until a replacement bus came.

A woman who caused our coach to be late as she had lost her ticket (turned out she had put it in her shoe for safekeeping!)

Various noisy people and people eating hot smelly food.

Conversely the best ever fellow passenger was a dog who got onto the bus when the doors opened, walked up the aisle and down again and then got off. No owner in sight!

What is the matter with the people who play stuff out loud on their phones, or ring people up for long pointless conversations at top volume? Where did they get the idea this was ok? Why can they not tell that everyone else in the carriage thinks they are an absolute arsehole?

What is the purpose of going through life deliberately making people dislike you?

I really wonder about this sometimes. They must want to be hated. But why? What do they get out of it?

@Macncheeseballs

Anyone who doesn't wear headphones when playing something

And

people who don't wear earphones, parents who let their children watch videos with the sound on / no earphones.

Wh6 do people do this? Why? It has become more common over the past year.

It is always men, in my experience: men old enough to know better. Dare to ask them to use headphones and you’ll get a mouthful.

There’s a high correlation with people who won’t wear masks on short journeys (I don’t believe that they are exempt) or wear their masks under their chins. What happens when you challenge them? Oh yes, you get a mouthful!

I assume that it is a pathetic attempt at ‘sticking it to the man’. Tragic.

I don't go on public transport or go to the cinema because I would kill people.
You can be damned sure on the odd occasion I have gone on the bus the mad/drunk/weird person has decided I am their best friend.

@lokomojo

What is the matter with the people who play stuff out loud on their phones, or ring people up for long pointless conversations at top volume? Where did they get the idea this was ok? Why can they not tell that everyone else in the carriage thinks they are an absolute arsehole?

What is the purpose of going through life deliberately making people dislike you?

I really wonder about this sometimes. They must want to be hated. But why? What do they get out of it?

I hate it. Just shut up

The man who got on the tube the other day with his kid, then gave his kid a pad to watch videos on with no headphones ranks right up there. I immediately got up and moved, as did a couple of other people because it was so loud. Normally I’d just ask them to turn it down or use headphones but I just wasn’t up for being told to fuck off that morning.

People doing Duolingo on the train too. So. Fucking. Annoying. Ping. Ping. Ping. Ping. Ping.

Any of the numerous hipsters who get on the long distance bus with their acoustic guitar/ukulele and presume everyone on the bus wants to hear their tuneless strumming. Bonus points if they sit on the aisle seat leaning out into the aisle so that more people can hear their musical gift.

Yes I am specifically looking at you, trilby-hatted twonk on the Glasgow > St Andrews bus.

Was on the train once when a drunk guy lit a cigarette and then was wrestled to the ground by another man when he refused to put it out...that was good

Just remembered this one. An Australian woman on a bus, sitting near the back, loudly telling someone she was on a bus in England.

More scarily, a creepy drunk who kept wandering up and down while the bus was in traffic. It was unnerving because I didn't know how long I would have to avoid looking at him.

@GetTaeFuck

7:30am

A man gets on the tram with an actual book box and proceeds to rap. Badly.

I used to take the Northern Line to uni. One day I saw something out of the corner of my eye, looked up and saw a man giving himself a wank. He wasn’t watching anything on his phone. Just looked straight ahead whilst doing it. Needless to say it was weird and disgusting.

I've come across a few drunken sports fans now and again - but the one which I remember was the man on the tube who sung Liverpool songs to himself for about twenty minutes.

A man shouting across the aisle of a long distance train to his mum in the aisle seat across and behind him. So Loud. So aggressive when (after about an hour) someone politely asked him to stop it. Turned on me when I backed up the original asker (I’m an experienced commuter, was travelling by without kids, and I figured he could use the back up). Carried on shouting (this time about how fucking rude we were) all the way to Paddington.

Something about his insistent wankishness on many levels was worse than all the drunks, shouters and no-headphones people I’ve met.

Though I still have hatred in my heart for the guy who shoved his hand in my crotch in a packed Piccadilly line, as I was on my way to a funeral.

There have been a couple on my Birmingham bus commute over the years. The most memorable two are:

The guy who got on the bus with a bag full of weapons, armed police stopped us and spent ages trying to get him off the bus which made me really late

The other guy, it's really sad actually, and I felt terrible for him, but he smelled horrifically of urine - so much so that the whole double decker bus wreaked of it to the point it made me heave and my eyes water, poor chap.

On a plane
Before take off
Lady & her adult son
Lady made a huge, loud speech about being too ill to fly after an operation, that she needed a free upgrade to first class & that she could not sit next to other people
People next to her were made to feel uncomfortable
Everyone sitting close, felt embarrassed
To cut a long story short, the air hostess went away & came back & stated some huge price for the upgrade to first class
Lady sat down
We all smiled

@Sexnotgender

If anyone is from Edinburgh you’ve probably met Mandy. She’s totally harmless but a bugger to be stuck with on a long journey. I’ve saved several tourists from Mandy😂

Awww ‘I’m Mandy, what’s your name?’ I used to love her 😂 Haven’t seen her in years

I work for TfL and there are too many to recount, but a parent using her two year old to block a set of tube train doors so she could get on must be up there. The boy suffered a minor head injury. Parent then accused the train operator of closing the doors too quickly. I was on the platform and saw her do it.

Oh I just remembered the guy on the First Great Western from Paddington who sat in the bin thinking it was a chair and then preceded to "self-complete" all the way to Chipping Norton.

Putting your bag on your lap whilst you rub one out doesn't make it okay, sir.

Man talking loudly on his phone without coming up for air the whole journey on the train