Out of control dog disturbing baby in garden - help?!

[soirritating]

I'll keep it as brief as possible. Basically I have a 3 month old baby and we are often out in the garden in the pram in the nice weather. Sometimes she falls asleep whilst out there (obviously I put her in the shade and stay with her just rocking her etc).

My issue is that next door have a small noisy dog which seems to have some sort of motion sensor on it. Literally every time there's any sort of movement, like me standing to rock her from sitting, the dog runs to the fence (I can see through the small slats) and starts yapping very loudly. And it's constant, continual yapping, until the neighbour eventually comes and retrieves it and what I would describe as half heartedly tells it off, eg. "stop it, come inside". Dog ignores her and continues. By this time my baby is wide awake and crying. This is every single time we are in the garden and make any sort of movement. Her "tellings off" are also few and far between - sometimes she just leaves the dog to yap at us through the fence.

As well as waking her sometimes when she's asleep it has also given her a shock and made her cry her on one occasion when we were out in the garden on her playmat - the best shaded area is right by my garden fence so that's where I was sitting with her lying on her mat. Next thing the dogs comes bounding over and is yapping inches from where we are. She startled and cried instantly. I was so upset on this occasion I just went back inside.

I know dogs bark. I get that. But i have owned a dog previously and if it was barking through the fence every single time a neighbour and her small baby were out there I'd be taking it inside. She doesn't seem to do that. So often we just end up back inside so baby isn't upset and can sleep, which I don't think is fair.

I don't expect silence in my garden by any means. But a dog constantly up at the fence, inches from where you know there's a small baby?? I just wouldn't let this continue. I'm starting to feel like I can't use my garden.

AIBU?

@junebirthdaygirl

I haven't read everything so this may be suggested already. You can buy a little zapper and every time the dog barks you press it and it gives the dog a very tiny shock which will gradually stop him from barking as he will associate barking with the little shock. It's so annoying a dog barking like that every time you are in the garden even if there was no baby involved. You have my sympathy. Get the zapper. I don't know what it's called but should be easy to find online.

Great. Now animal abuse is being advocated. Perhaps the neighbours could get a zapper to use on the baby when it cries? No?

@bongbigboobingbongbing

I wonder if playing music or the radio would mask the sound of you/baby in the garden so that the dog doesn't pick up on every tiny little noise. Just some quiet Radio 4 or something. (If your neighbours notice it and ask you to turn it off I think you could just explain why you've felt the need to try it!)

Ooh not a bad idea - will try this today. Thank you

@thecognoscenti

Why post in AIBU if you don't think you're unreasonable, OP? I mean you're absolutely convinced that you aren't being, and that your baby should be your neighbour's top priority (spoiler alert: it isn't).

Being convinced that answer to AIBU is "yes" , is not a prerequisite for posting. That's why I posted.

I wish I could post a picture of the garden to illustrate just how little space there really is to "move away from the fence". But I don't want my property to be identified... otherwise I would.

Put a fence on your side.

Genius, why didn't I think of that.
Perhaps because 1) there already is one. And 2) I don't own the property so cannot modify the fence.

@bongbigboobingbongbing

I'm going to try the radio thing today, however I'm convinced it's our movement not the sound that the dog is responding to. As an example, OH and I were sat there yesterday on garden chairs a little way from the fence (baby was asleep in pram), and OH got up from his chair to go inside for a drink (no sound made). Dog instantly barked and ran towards fence.

How on earth would she be able to “zap” the neighbours dog through a fence anyway?!

I won't be zapping any dogs, don't worry. That doesn't sit comfortably at all.

I have a dog like this - he was badly treated before we had him and now he is extremely anxious about any noise or movement.

We ARE training him, we even pay for a dog therapist (who knew such things even existed) .

But in reality chances are he’s never going to be a relaxed, happy dog - he a wonderful pet cuddly and great with our kids etc but he’s constantly on edge and alert.

I don’t leave him outside barking, I bring him in when he starts barking but I suppose by then he would have already woken your baby.

Training an anxious dog never involves punishing them or shouting at them that the opposite of what they need and Will just make it even worse.

I’m not really sure what else I can do with him that would be acceptable to people who don’t want him barking! The alternative would be never allowing him outside or getting rid of him altogether.

@Makinganewthinghappen

I have a dog like this - he was badly treated before we had him and now he is extremely anxious about any noise or movement.

We ARE training him, we even pay for a dog therapist (who knew such things even existed) .

But in reality chances are he’s never going to be a relaxed, happy dog - he a wonderful pet cuddly and great with our kids etc but he’s constantly on edge and alert.

I don’t leave him outside barking, I bring him in when he starts barking but I suppose by then he would have already woken your baby.

Training an anxious dog never involves punishing them or shouting at them that the opposite of what they need and Will just make it even worse.

I’m not really sure what else I can do with him that would be acceptable to people who don’t want him barking! The alternative would be never allowing him outside or getting rid of him altogether.

Totally understand. We spent hundreds on dog trainers to try and help our anxious dog. She used to bark intermittently at people (usually just men who walked close to me when I was alone with her). It was hard work, expensive and Bert stressful! But we at least tried (like it sounds you are doing), and we were attentive to her needs, and apologetic to those who she barked at. She wouldn't have been left in the garden barking at all and sundry. And if I'd heard a baby cry suddenly in response to her barking through a fence I'd be mortified and very apologetic.

*very, not Bert. Not sure who Bert is 😂

I think because you have mentioned the dog waking your baby everyone has jumped in and said yabu. The dog barking and the owners leaving it are unreasonable. I would speak to them. We had a dog that barked when I was younger we had a tin with a lid on put stones in, when they bark you shake it. If the owners don’t do anything about the barking you could try that. It would wake the baby but the issue is not the baby waking it’s the fact the dog barks every time you move in the garden.

I think because you have mentioned the dog waking your baby everyone has jumped in and said yabu.

Yes. So I see.

I find it a little strange, though, that "I'm really pissed off by my barking neighbour's dog - it's ruining my sunbathing session and disturbing my peace" would garner more empathy on MUMSnet, than "I'm upset that my barking neighbour's dog is making my baby cry".

What's the difference? If anything, I'd personally have far more empathy for the latter.

Bizarre.

Don’t you know the Mumsnet rules OP? You must endlessly tolerate all noise made by your neighbours whilst ensuring that you never, ever make a sound in your own garden.

@LadyCatStark

Don’t you know the Mumsnet rules OP? You must endlessly tolerate all noise made by your neighbours whilst ensuring that you never, ever make a sound in your own garden.

Oh dear. Well I'm about to break those rules today I'm afraid with a little blast of Smooth Radio 😂

I love dogs have two little ones that would be considered a yappy breed. Luckily they're not that bothered by much and too old to care. Let's not blame the dog here, the owner is being completely inconsiderate to everyone who has to listen to that go on. Apart from having a word which isn't easy understandably maybe try a water pistol!

Try the stop barking thing from Amazon that only dogs can hear. Get the bird house looking one not the egg. YES it uses up batteries but stops the barking. Just put it in the garden and switch it on high. I lived in an garden apartment (up and down with a. patio on the back) a guy moved in with a huge dog that started barking about 1pm until his guy came home at 6. I got one and set it in my patio and the barking stopped, immediately. Once in a while he would woof to see if it was on. That was all.

OP chances are the dog is barking out of alert/fear reaction rather than attention so you could try chucking cubes of cheese over the fence when you move outdoors, doesn't matter if dog is already barking, if the barking is out of fear it is not possible to reward that emotional state (probably loads of people will crowd in to say never reward a dog for barking but this doesn't take account of the emotional state behind the reaction). Worth a go anyway if neighbour won't desensitise their dog. When you're out in your garden and dog is, chuck a handful of cheese cubes or sausage every time you move. If owner complains about the unauthorised feeding then tell them to train their dog themselves!

Dogs yap, babies cry - I’m sure when baby cries in the early hours you expect neighbours to put up with it.
If she’s sleeping anyway, just wheel her in so that she g do orange get woken? This stage will soon pass. The dog is just doing what dogs do.

Scaring the dog by squirting water or making a scary noise in response like rattle can etc might also work (positive punishment) but it has a chance of making it worse and is nowadays not thought of a very good way of training as it subjects the dog to punishment without changing their underlying emotional state. If it were me, I'd just chuck cheese and make my presence in the garden the world's best thing to that dog. It's not the dogs fault, their owner isn't training it.

I get it I had a neighbour who would sit drinking all night with her mates in her garden under my sons window and then she would let her yapping dog out all night! Have you tried be friending your and maybe dropping in a conversation how the dog startles your baby ! But with all the neighbours I have had if I have complained then it's up to me to avoid the situation ridiculous I know but maybe your neighbours will be understanding also its good to have neighbours you get along with.

I understand ppl have there own views but when you first have a baby it's hard enough lack of sleep etc doesn't help maybe you could buy the dog a cheap chewy rope friendly neighbourly thing I'd drop in your so yappy little cutie would you like this toy lol ! Just ideas xx goodluck

Wow! Op getting a hard time here.
Forget the baby, forget the fact that Op has another child. Do some of you really think that a dog should be left to bark at a neighbour when she is in her own garden? I say this as a lifelong dog lover and owner - it is not acceptable. Nobody should own a dog if they are not prepared to train it properly and Op's neighbour should be more pro-active in socialising her pet. Why shouldn't Op sit in the shade or peg out her washing in peace?
Having said that the situation is what it is and as the neighbour probably won't do anything then the suggestions re. screening and garden umbrella are surely the way forward.

Dogs yap, babies cry - I’m sure when baby cries in the early hours you expect neighbours to put up with it.

I wish people were able to rtft.

I live in a detached house. No one has to "put up with" my baby crying except the members of our household.

@HeyDemonsItsYaGirl

They have to listen to your baby crying all the time, including at night, so I wouldn't quibble about occasional barking.

It's not occasional it's all the time!

@Toomuchtrouble4me ‘The dog is just doing what dogs do’ - generally only badly behaved, untrained, bored or badly treated dogs with crap owners.

To be clear.