Background: Split with now ExH when DD was 2, she’s now 7. He has her for 1 night EOW and 1 extra night over Christmas (so 27 nights per year). I’ve offered him more but he never takes it. We split due to his violence and control.
DD has some SN, which according to ExH are all my fault and it’s my parenting that’s caused it if she was with him she’d be absolutely fine 
Last week I had a meeting with DDs Year 2 teacher and her new teacher for Year 3 who is also the SENCo about how to support DD. She has an EHCP so this was the review (school set it like that deliberately but we do also have a short term review at October Half Term and if needs be at Easter.
It was at 5pm and I’d told the teachers when booking it I’d have DD with me as I’m a single parent they said it was fine.
I took DD with me, along with some snacks and her ipad. The snacks included a packet of crisps and a box/carton of ribena.
ExH has bought DD back to me and said I am disgusting but he’s grateful I’ve “finally shown my true colours to school” he’s saying that 1 of the members of staff there the other night is “on his side” and he cannot wait to prove me wrong.
Neither of the teachers said anything negative about the snacks, the SENCo connected the ipad to the schools wifi so DD could watch Netflix while we talked (her words to DD not mine), the year 2 teacher stole a crisp off DD in the jokey way people do.
DD usually has a packed lunch but I’ve been told by several members of staff that her meals are healthy – they always include a least 1 fruit or vegetable, she usually only drinks water while there (but will have squash if offered it with special meals like the Christmas meal). She’s a healthy weight, small in height but that’s caused by her SN and another medical issue not through me not feeding her.
Headteacher has told me multiple times that DD is polite, kind and happy at school. Same HT has said several of the other parents in the class have told her I’m a good parent and she doesn’t disagree (it was relevant to the context of the conversation we were having but also relevant here).
I actually hate being complimented because of him. I am not and never will be the perfect parent, actually I feel like I’m treading water most days and counting down the –seconds—minutes until bedtime.
For even more added context school finished on Friday for the summer, meeting was last Monday (12th July), I’m certain by now I’d know if school were reporting me to SS for giving my child crisps and a carton of squash!
I’m not worried. Just think it’s hilarious that after 4 and a half years ExH is still trying to bring me down. He’s told me several times he hates me and one day DD will “open her eyes” and hate me too.
AIBU to roll my eyes and move on?