Children at different preps

[Jadefeather7]

Hi,

Does anyone with children at prep schools have them at two different ones? Because we have a boy and girl and the co-Ed options are limited and not very academic this is looking increasingly likely but it’s making me nervous. The schools seem pretty aligned in terms of holidays and they are a 5 min drive from each other (without traffic). We are both working parents so convenience is a consideration. DH is pretty insistent on going down the private route but I’m wondering whether I need to push him towards looking to move to an area with a good state option where they could both go together instead or is it not that bad to have them at different schools?

Lots of siblings go to different schools for one reason or another. Eg where there are seperate infants and junior schools.
I expect there will other parents at the school with the same issue. Assuming that will be in after school care I cant see that it's an issue.

Just go to the local primary, what's the worst that could happen

If its a boys school and girls school a few minutes drive away from each other, there will probably be lots of cross over between parents

DD went to a girl's prep (our local primary was under special measures) and loads of kids had brothers in the local boys prep. It's completely normal. If you've mapped out pick up and drop off times there shouldn't be any issue and you might find mums in a similar position who you can eventually lift share etc with.

Given that they are 5 minutes from each other and a girls and boys school I would bet good money that there will be dozens of families with 1 child at each school. It wouldn't surprise me at all if the schools had some level of formal or informal cooperation in setting their term dates and activities to avoid anything too massively inconvenient for multi-school families. Inevitably there will be some unavoidable clashes but I think if the schools are the best suited for the two children then go for it.

If convenience is a consideration, I would be looking at a good state with a breakfast and afterschool clubs. Remember the private holidays are much longer too....

It happens in state schools too. The town I live in has 4 grammar schools and 2 comps that are single sex.

Totally doable if they are close by. Both will probably have good breakfast club and after school club too.
I had both mine In a co-Ed and it was a huge mistake as the school suited one but not the other . Wish we had move them earlier.
At my kids current schools, they can both be there from 8.20 and school starts at 8.45 so we drop one for 8.20 and the other is at school for 8.35. For pick up there is a 10 minute difference in coming out time, but when we have been a few minutes late, the school keep the children together in reception. If you’re not there after 10 mins, they put the child in after school club for an extra 15 mins for free before you get charged.
As others have said, if they are single sex and close by, lots will be doing the same so don’t worry

It's a non issue if they are 5 minutes apart. DS went to a prep in the opposite direction to dd when he was 8. I used to leave to drop him 10 minutes away at about 8.10 and get back at 8.35 to drop her at 8.45. I committed always to take them to school. It did mean I worked locally always and we had an au-pair.

@Grimbelina

If convenience is a consideration, I would be looking at a good state with a breakfast and afterschool clubs. Remember the private holidays are much longer too....

I think this depends on the school. Two of mine are in private prep and one in a state primary. The prep school is set up for working parents. Drop off any time from 8am and plenty of after school clubs or option to stay till 5pm and do homework. Generally anything parents are invited to is set up at the start or end of the day so as to be easier for working parents. For school holidays, lots of children in clubs so we coordinate so they are with their friends.

The state school is 9am to 3pm with less options for after school clubs and shorter holidays but most children only go to holiday clubs for odd days so not so much fun for the DC if they aren’t with friends. But it is only a 5 min walk from the house when the prep is a 20 min drive.

Thanks for the responses. I have heard from the schools that there are parents sending their children to both. Wish there was a way to actually speak to current parents and find out about their experiences. Both schools have good after school provision and they have transport services that go from near our home but unfortunately the transport timings aren’t aligned so it will probably involve some running around on our part probably for the pick ups. The parking seems to be a nightmare around both schools!

What do you think about the private route OP? You only mention your husbands view.

I don’t feel strongly either way. Just want them to go to good schools whether they are state or private. I like both prep schools that we have seen but want to make sure we aren’t feeling constantly stressed and rushed off our feet if they are in different schools.

You are definitely BU

Or maybe YANBU

Who knows

Mine did. Are teens now, still at different schools. 1 girls only, 1 co-ed. It’s easy enough (obviously one drop off, one sports day, one Christmas Fair etc would be easier, but it’s honestly fine), it it hadn’t been, DD would have gone to the co-ed too.

Wish there was a way to actually speak to current parents and find out about their experiences.

It might be worth asking the school if they can put you in touch with current parents. Our PTA try to be helpful to new and prospective parents.

Also I often see questions posted on local social media about local schools and people’s experiences. Maybe a local site you could try.

@karmakameleon thanks, I was wondering if about that but I wasn’t sure if it was a silly ask! These schools invest a lot in marketing but I think the option to speak to some current parents would be so much more helpful. I’ve tried local social media but not had much of a response so will ask the school about their PTA.

@Jadefeather7

If you don't feel strongly then state primary is a much better choice. More diverse, balanced, less chance of your falling into financial hardship

That five minutes definitely isn't going to be five minutes at school run time!

That said, I would think a lot of people do it. Generally one gets dropped off a bit early and one just before the bell. Pick up is a bit harder, but there'll be an after school club. If they're a couple of years apart you might have an easier time when one is in pre-prep/infants and the other in juniors if they have different finish times.

Yeah I just don’t know what the 5 mins is like in school run traffic. I’ll probably have to give it a go and see what it’s like. Having said that I think we would probably try to use the bus in the morning and use the after school club for a few evenings so pick up could be around 4/5/6pm I think.