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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to go into CF neighbours bedroom

104 replies

Gardenwoe · 17/07/2021 15:42

Am I going mad or is my neighbour a CF?

Background: We live in a terraced house, and our bedroom is on the ground floor (recently converted/redone) and a patch of wet appeared near the skirting board on the wall. Couldn’t work out where it’s coming from as we know there are no pipes there, wondered if it might be coming through from next door as they have a disused shower room against that wall. Always got on Ok with neighbours (we have been here for 18 years, they have even longer) so asked if he could take a look his side. There’s so much junk there we couldn’t even get close to where the possible water leak could be coming from, so left it at that and realized we would have to investigate from our side.

So we asked our builder to pop in and take a look at some point. He’s also a close family friend, so when he turned up yesterday just as we were leaving for work, we let him in and left him to it. We knew he was going to have to take the skirting of and make some noise knocking out some of the bricks to try and see if the damp course had been breached.

Our front door was open so the builder could go in and out to his van parked on the drive immediately outside. Cheeky neighbour hears the banging, arrives at the front door, rings the Ring doorbell. No answer. Peers through the open door. Checks up the stairs (townhouse) Then wanders into to hallway…opens bedroom door where builder is working , goes into bedroom and demands to know why he’s making all this noise! (11am btw, not unsociable hours) Builder explained what he was doing, neighbour moaned obviously unhappy and left.

DH went round this morning to ask what he was playing at, entering into our house/bedroom uninvited. On not getting an answer when he knocked on the door he should have turned around and waited for us to get home or rang us. His answer was that we should have let him know we were going to be making noise. (Builder was finished in under an hour)

AIBU in thinking the next time I see his front or back door open I should go round and go into his bedroom?

OP posts:
Aprilx · 17/07/2021 15:49

Well no obviously you should not do that. But I am not surprised oh are furious with your neighbour.

Looubylou · 17/07/2021 15:58

No scrap that idea, no good can come from it. You won't get on well after that, it's salvageable at present.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 17/07/2021 15:58

Obviously not, but what a CF

Comeondoit · 17/07/2021 16:01

I don't see what the neighbour did wrong tbh.

He wanted to know where the noise was coming from, probably sounded like someone was breaking in to his house.

Door was open, no one answering so he investigated. Fair enough I'd say.

Bargebill19 · 17/07/2021 16:06

@Comeondoit
But the builders van was parked directly outside on the drive. Plus neighbours knew there was some damp issue already.
I call cf neighbour. Totally get why op is annoyed.

Comeondoit · 17/07/2021 16:11

[quote Bargebill19]@Comeondoit
But the builders van was parked directly outside on the drive. Plus neighbours knew there was some damp issue already.
I call cf neighbour. Totally get why op is annoyed.[/quote]
Meh I'd want to know what was going on, must have sounded atrocious his end.

Bargebill19 · 17/07/2021 16:15

Hen they should have a) called the homeowner op says they have a number b) the waited.
Had there been a burglary in progress, they could have been seriously hurt. Far better if they had though that, to dial 999 and wait, whilst noting as much detail as possible.
Entering, uninvited or without very good reason (seeing someone obviously in need of assistance) someone else’s private space a huge no no.

Comeondoit · 17/07/2021 16:18

I just don't think it was that big a deal.

They were just investigating the noise and disruption not pillaging the place

OP is over reacting imo

Ideasplease322 · 17/07/2021 16:18

I would never walk into a neighbours home uninvited, and my good not into their bedroom.

Awful behaviour.

Comeondoit · 17/07/2021 16:19

If they were that precious about it they could have made sure the door was locked

Original poster
Gardenwoe · 17/07/2021 16:22

@Comeondoit you sound about as nosey as him then!

He's your typical curtain twitcher bless him, I call him our own personal neighborhood watch - he's at the window the moment someone new is in the road! There have been numerous other things over the years, but we tolerate it because 1) it's good to keep good neighbourly relations and 2) it's reassuring to know that should anything untoward happen he will be watching!

And the noise wasn't atrocious - it was hammering out of 2 bricks and the removing by hand a load of rubble that had been dumped by previous builders in the cavity wall. There was no industrial machinery/power tools being used.

I just feel it was an enormous intrusion, and I would never dream of entering someone else's house uninvited, so rude!

OP posts:
AllyBama · 17/07/2021 16:23

Yeah that would have pissed me right off. He didn’t enter the house under the guise of investigating a burglar, he was annoyed at the noise (at a perfectly reasonable time) and decided to enter your property without permission. He knew you had a damp patch you were trying to sort out so it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to work out why there would be a bit of noise coming from that wall, plus the builders van out the front. He was bang out of order and I’d be telling him exactly that.

Comeondoit · 17/07/2021 16:23

[quote Gardenwoe]@Comeondoit you sound about as nosey as him then!

He's your typical curtain twitcher bless him, I call him our own personal neighborhood watch - he's at the window the moment someone new is in the road! There have been numerous other things over the years, but we tolerate it because 1) it's good to keep good neighbourly relations and 2) it's reassuring to know that should anything untoward happen he will be watching!

And the noise wasn't atrocious - it was hammering out of 2 bricks and the removing by hand a load of rubble that had been dumped by previous builders in the cavity wall. There was no industrial machinery/power tools being used.

I just feel it was an enormous intrusion, and I would never dream of entering someone else's house uninvited, so rude! [/quote]
Well he obviously felt the noise was an intrusion so you could just call it quits.

Original poster
Gardenwoe · 17/07/2021 16:24

@Comeondoit

If they were that precious about it they could have made sure the door was locked
I don't understand what's precious about not wanting someone to enter your property uninvited?

As explained the builder was in and out to get tools, carry buckets of rubble out so left the door open for easy access

OP posts:
Comeondoit · 17/07/2021 16:26

I just think you're overreacting

Original poster
Gardenwoe · 17/07/2021 16:27

@Comeondoit Are you my neighbour?

Oh no you can't be - he's currently mowing the lawn, i find that noise an intrusion while I'm trying to MN in peace. Right I'm off into his kitchen via his back door to demand to his wife that he stops right now! Hmm

OP posts:
Comeondoit · 17/07/2021 16:28

[quote Gardenwoe]@Comeondoit Are you my neighbour?

Oh no you can't be - he's currently mowing the lawn, i find that noise an intrusion while I'm trying to MN in peace. Right I'm off into his kitchen via his back door to demand to his wife that he stops right now! Hmm[/quote]
Cool story bro

Original poster
Gardenwoe · 17/07/2021 16:30

Oh god - you're only 14 years old - sorry

OP posts:
Flowers500 · 17/07/2021 16:30

I don’t get what he did wrong? The door was open, he tried to get the bullder’s attention (clealry knew he was there from the noise), walked in to talk to him. Perfectly reasonable to want to know how long he should be expecting it to last, perfectly reasonable to talk to the builder. It’s not like he went snooping, he went into what was at that time the builder s place of work. I doubt he could care less about your bedroom or your kitchen or whatever

Bargebill19 · 17/07/2021 16:30

The noise wouldn’t have been caught hat great. Two bricks to be removed takes minutes. No more than if the op was putting up some shelving.
Op your neighbour was being a massive cf. Now you know and can plan accordingly.

ThatsNicePet · 17/07/2021 16:30

@Comeondoit

I don't see what the neighbour did wrong tbh.

He wanted to know where the noise was coming from, probably sounded like someone was breaking in to his house.

Door was open, no one answering so he investigated. Fair enough I'd say.

The builders’ van and the hammering didn’t suggest to this man that there was a builder in the property, at 11am, which is a reasonable time to have a tradesman in? And then even when he saw an actual builder, he asked what the noise was?

YANBU OP. He sounds super nosey

Comeondoit · 17/07/2021 16:31

@Flowers500

I don’t get what he did wrong? The door was open, he tried to get the bullder’s attention (clealry knew he was there from the noise), walked in to talk to him. Perfectly reasonable to want to know how long he should be expecting it to last, perfectly reasonable to talk to the builder. It’s not like he went snooping, he went into what was at that time the builder s place of work. I doubt he could care less about your bedroom or your kitchen or whatever
THANK YOU!
Flowers500 · 17/07/2021 16:32

More than likely he probably also wanted to talk to the builder to see what was found, as you had raised the issue with him, possibly also see the issue on your wall—as you had wanted to do on his.

5475878237NC · 17/07/2021 16:33

Pretty obvious you were having building work done. Just wanted a moan about the noise. Unreasonably so at 11am.

AntiWorkBrigade · 17/07/2021 16:37

I have noisy neighbours. Good to know that the next time they annoy me I can just try the front door, and if it’s open I have a green light to ‘investigate’. Ridiculous.

OP, no wonder you’re annoyed. He’s definitely overstepped the mark and I’d be fantasising about giving him a little taster of what it feels like to be on the receiving end too.