Partners ex wife having parcels delivered here

[MissEleaneous]

I'm not personally in this situation, but my partner's ex, the mother of his son, (we will call her Sophie) is having this problem with the ex-wife (Jade) of her partner (Adam).

For context of the situation, Sophie lives with her partner and they have just recently had a baby together. Adam has children with his ex Jade and so they do need to maintain contact. Jade previously lived with Adam in the house he and Sophie now live in together, but of course she moved out after they broke up.

So the problem is that ex wife Jade keeps having parcels delivered to the home Sophie and Adam now share. This is not a one off but happens regularly. These parcels often have Jade's married name on too.

This is really getting to Sophie and she is beginning to think its being done intentionally. I think, even if its not being done on purpose, Jade is still being completely selfish and self absorbed to not have considered why this might be upsetting for Sophie.

Would is be unreasonable if she put her foot down and said no more? And then refused to accept any future parcels or returned them to sender?

Jade also calls Adam pretty much every day (supposedly children related but not really), turns up at the house without warning and has done a few other things that suggest she's trying to maintain her presence and I can understand why Sophie is not dealing with it well. She, like so many of us, struggles with her mental health at times and this situation is really affecting her. I'm pretty worried about her, especially since she only gave birth a couple of months ago and so of course she's feeling especially vulnerable. Thoughts?

Wow op you're getting some stick here jeezo

Can Sophie and Adam refuse the packages?
Does Jade stop by unannounced to collect the parcels? If so, she knows there going there so what's her actual reason for this happening? She needs to update Amazon or what?

Adam doesn't seem to be doing much to support Sophie. She's struggling with her mental health and after having a baby he should be doing something if this is worrying her not leaving it to you. What an arse.

Sounds like Adam needs to cut the cord with his ex.

@MissEleaneous

No, it isn't. She uses her maiden name as most women do after divorce.

Most of the divorced women I know kept married names

@MissEleaneous

No, it isn't. She uses her maiden name as most women do after divorce.

No, most women don't use their maiden name after divorce.

@OoglyMoogly

Thoughts? Not your circus.

This. Or your monkeys.

Adam should sort this out.

He has to man up.

I’d be more concerned that the address the parcels are being delivered to may also be the address her banking is still registered at.

Anyways it’s up to him to sort his shit out. If he doesn’t your friend should walk as he is in thrall to his ex.

Sophies partner Adam needs to talk to his ex wife Jane and tell her to stop doing this.

Sophie needs to talk to Adam about how she feels - he should be stepping in to support her , anything that will make her feel better

If Jane continues sending parcels, either refuse them at the door if addressed to her or if they are left on porch , then you won't be able to return to sender without going to post office, so keep them/ dispose of them/ deny getting them whatever option Adam and Sophie choose

Fair enough, my mistake. That was based on my personal experience as I know only a handful who have kept their married name - the vast majority of divorced women I know have reverted to their maiden name but appreciate thats entirely anecdotal.

I'd advise Sophie to open the parcel , use whatever's inside and deny all knowledge that anything was delivered.

Totally dishonest, but it would stop the parcel deliveries.

If you leave out irrelevant details it makes things easier to follow. It wasn’t necessary to the question to include thats is your partners ex and stepsons mum, your close friend would do, same as the fake names.

She has a DP problem and shouldn’t have accepted after the 1st one. Refuse to accept or return to sender

I'd tell her what I tell my kids: if they're doing it to upset you, then don't give them what they want, and if they're not, then there's no need to worry.

She can refuse delivery, tell the ex she can't take any more parcels and then ignore.

Or she could start commenting on how hard it is for non tech savvy people to master the Internet, refer to all the older people that struggle with online and try and persuade the ex that she's just making herself look silly and incompetent by persisting with this 'game'.

Keep well out of it, it’s not remotely any of your business.

Nobody is unreasonable to refuse parcels for someone who doesn’t live at their address

Her husband needs to sort it, however, if she is so upset and seeking your support, could it be that he has refused? Be a supportive listening ear but don't get actively involved. Does she need encouragement to seek support for her mental health? If she was emotionally well it might not be such a big deal.

Stay out of it. It's none of your business. It's up to the ex-husband to sort this out.

And every single divorced woman I know has kept their married name.

I would either refuse the parcels or just open them and keep the contents myself.

Is the main issue that Sophie is extra pissed off about getting parcels addressed to Mrs Adam because she has had a child with Adam but he hasn't married her. Jade is doing it to rub salt in the wound maybe? Was Sophie the OW?

Wow some people lead such complicated lives !
Why are you even remotely interested in the problems that your partners ex is having with her new partners ex ??
If this isn’t a reverse you need to stay out of it and get on with your own life

Jade can use whatever name she wants.
Adam needs to tell her to stop having post sent to his house.