To want my brother to stay with us?

[zeolitic]

My brother is 15, my parents are going on holiday on Monday morning, in the uk but he doesn't want to go, especially as it'd be just the 3 of them as me and our other 2 siblings are adults and have moved out. He also doesn't finish school until Wednesday.

He can't stay home alone so I've offered for him to stay here as I'll be home anyway looking after DD and DS.

My DH has said he can't stay and he should be forced to go on the holiday as it's ungrateful, but I probably wouldn't want to go on holiday with just my parents at 15 either!

He's also said I shouldn't be made to look after him (he won't need looking after much) and he's a bad influence on DD (she's 3) and she's copy his behaviour as they're close (he's usually well behaved).

My DH is also ‘worried’ in case my brother has to isolate as most of his friends are due to close contacts at school, but our parents have told him he doesn't have to go to school for the last 3 days if he doesn't want to.

Aibu here?

Maybe your DH should go with them, and you and your DB stay at home together!

@drpet49

As long as you look after him etc. Don’t expect your husband to help if he isn’t on board with it all.

Look after him?? He's 15, doesn't exactly require a massive amount of looking after.

Hi we really need help guidance on our 12 year old daughter , she’s been out of school for 4 months due to anxiety issues , and never ever leaves the house , we have a family support worker which she won’t see and hides in her room , CAHMS are useless ,

No, my brother told them he didn't want to go originally but they booked a place with 2 rooms in case he changed his mind but they asked him again recently and he still doesn't want to go and they've said that it's fine.

What were your parents plans until you offered to have him?

I'm kind of with DH in the sense that this should be a decision for both of you.

I think you are being very reasonable. Your DHs reasons do seem silly, is the real reason that he just doesn't want a guest to stay for (how long?). If yes I do see his point, I don't like having guests to stay either.

How long is it for and what is your bedroom situation. One week and you have a spare room - fair enough. A month and he sleeps in the living room - too much to ask.

@Chris100000

Hi we really need help guidance on our 12 year old daughter , she’s been out of school for 4 months due to anxiety issues , and never ever leaves the house , we have a family support worker which she won’t see and hides in her room , CAHMS are useless ,

You need to start a thread on this in the appropriate place. Maybe in Teens, I know your child is not quite a teen but the most relevant experiences may be on there Or ask for this to be moved

YANBU. Have you asked your DH why he’s behaving like a prick and inventing objections?

How long are his parents going away? I can't really see a problem with a 15 year old able to stay at home on his own, since you can legally leave home at 16. If it's only for a weekend or even a week surely it should be ok. He's 15, not 5. YANBU though for wanting him to stay with you though, your DH sounds like a thoroughly nasty piece of work and I'd be worried about his attitude of forcing a 15 year old teenage boy to go on a holiday he doesn't want to go on, would he have the same attitude with your daughter? Would he not respect her agency, her right to spend holiday time how she wants? Your DH's attitude about dictating and forcing a teenager and saying they are 'ungrateful' for daring to have tastes/opinions/wants of their own would disturb me.

Why can he not stay home alone, with regular contact. Does he not want to?