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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Choir practice

19 replies

Rizzoli123 · 16/07/2021 17:52

My choir is opening again on the 30th July. I am so excited but my husband is refusing to let me go. He is worried about covid. He has been double jabbed and I have my second in August. His mum hasnt as she is getting over shingles. We lives with mother and father law. Fil has had 2nd jab.

He thinks I will bring covid back and everyone will catch it. I have told him. His father in law work has the same risk but he won't listen. He is worried about his mum as she hasn't had her jab due to shingles and she hasn't made an effort to book getting one either.

My choir master has sent out documentation to say we will be social distancing, wearing masks, and washing hands. We also have to provide a vaccine passport to prove we have had our vaccination.

Everyone else is going back apart from me. Its once a week within walking distance so I won't be near anyone else. I always wear my mask and I am always very careful about distance (I play netball I know how far 3ft is 😂)

Is there anything to do to help me

OP posts:
Rizzoli123 · 16/07/2021 18:02

I will add I live in an area with a high infection rate

OP posts:
NeverDropYourMoonCup · 16/07/2021 18:38

He's got no right to dictate what you do when it's perfectly legal.

pinkcircustop · 16/07/2021 18:48

I would just go. He doesn’t get to stop you.

Zarene · 16/07/2021 18:50

Go. Absolutely go, you’ve missed out enough!

LubaLuca · 16/07/2021 18:53

He isn't going to stop you so please yourself, but won't you have to wait until you're fully vaccinated if the choir is demanding a 'passport'?

NoYOUbekind · 16/07/2021 18:56

The compromise is maybe waiting until you've had the second jab and taking reasonable precautions when you come home - ie, straight into the shower and clothes straight in the washing machine, as some people did at the start of the pandemic.

I'm in a choir and I know they'll be taking it really seriously - can't wait to get back so you have my sympathies.

At the end of the day though, no adult gets to dictate what another adult can and cannot do.

Rizzoli123 · 16/07/2021 18:57

@LubaLuca

He isn't going to stop you so please yourself, but won't you have to wait until you're fully vaccinated if the choir is demanding a 'passport'?
He said a lateral flow test would be acceptable on the day of choir with proof of a negitive result
OP posts:
Rizzoli123 · 16/07/2021 18:59

@NoYOUbekind

The compromise is maybe waiting until you've had the second jab and taking reasonable precautions when you come home - ie, straight into the shower and clothes straight in the washing machine, as some people did at the start of the pandemic.

I'm in a choir and I know they'll be taking it really seriously - can't wait to get back so you have my sympathies.

At the end of the day though, no adult gets to dictate what another adult can and cannot do.

I have said this to him and he said being double jabbed dosent stop you getting the infection.

He is just worried about me passing it on to his mum

OP posts:
amission · 16/07/2021 19:01

He can't not 'let' you as he doesn't make decisions for you.

You make your own mind up and deal with the consequences.

Rizzoli123 · 16/07/2021 19:06

@amission

He can't not 'let' you as he doesn't make decisions for you.

You make your own mind up and deal with the consequences.

I want to go. Its one night a week and I have been in this house for more then 18 months missing my hobbies. I just want to go and see people. I know we can't control the spread but I just want to get back to normal
OP posts:
JoanOgden · 16/07/2021 19:08

I think taking a lateral flow test before/after going is a good compromise - my choir has just started up again and we have to take an LFT 24 hours in advance.

quizqueen · 16/07/2021 19:09

Your husband is not your boss; do what you like. He could walk past people with covid every day at work and not know.

amission · 16/07/2021 19:11

@Rizzoli123
Then you should go!

Hope you enjoy Smile

Heronwatcher · 16/07/2021 19:54

Who died and made him god of free time?
Would it be the end of the world if you didn’t see his mum until after you’ve got your second jab?
He does realise though that unless she’s isolating she’ll be coming into contact with people who aren’t double jabbed and could be doing many many things which he wouldn’t “allow” Hmm

Rizzoli123 · 16/07/2021 20:05

@Heronwatcher

Who died and made him god of free time? Would it be the end of the world if you didn’t see his mum until after you’ve got your second jab? He does realise though that unless she’s isolating she’ll be coming into contact with people who aren’t double jabbed and could be doing many many things which he wouldn’t “allow” Hmm
I wouldn't like to see her all together sometimes. Which is hard as well all live in the same house 😳
OP posts:
Dishwashersaurous · 16/07/2021 20:09

When is she MIL getting the second jab?

Does she ever leave the house?

mollythemeerkat · 16/07/2021 20:14

Our choir has been back singing for a while. YANBU.

Rizzoli123 · 17/07/2021 17:41

@Dishwashersaurous

When is she MIL getting the second jab?

Does she ever leave the house?

She hasn't has her first yet. No only to drive around which she hasn't done since having shingles
OP posts:
Dishwashersaurous · 22/07/2021 10:04

Why isn't she getting jabbed?

She needs to get the vaccine

And you need to try and move out

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