bugged by neighbour

[twinkle22]

my neighbours both work and untill recently they had a childminder .but she gave it up with about 3 months notice.anyway neighbour told me the ins and out of how she was going to manage now that shes gone(i dont ask but she informs me)she says her and hubby are taking turns and one going in early the other coming home early to collect kids from school but tow of the days are a bit tricky .i told her out straight i had had a enought my own kids with all the after school things.anyway last week was the third time they have asked me to mind the kids for an hour witch turned into 3 .i had to out so i had to bring all the kids with.
my problem is i dont like saying no because one day i might be stuck and i would help anyone to mind the kids if there stuck if the have an appiontment or were sick.but to me there not stuck they are going to work
and they havent made any new childcare arangements.i think they think because i,m here all day with my kids they just as me.
but i us to work as a childminder and i dont want to go back in to it at the moment.i dont want to offent them but i dont want to mind there kids either any advice

If you told her out straight that you had enough with your own kids then you can politely tell her that she needs to find a permanent childminder or get her kids into an afterschool club. do it now before she starts to rely on you.

Next time they ask smile and say "no, I'm sorry, I can't" or "no, I'm sorry, it's just not convenient today". Repeat for as long as it takes for them to get the message. DO NOT get into that whole palaver of making up convoluted excuses - why should you. If you are ever stuck and they won't help you remind them of all the times you helped out when you could.

twinkle no advice to give you i'm afraid - just wanted to say I completely and utterly sympathise with you I have a "friend" like this too.

YANBU.....no way....if it was an emergency and they needed a minder at short notice (i donot consider work an emergency) then I am sure you would oblige.

You have given up a chance of a career and extra income for you family to stay at home and they want you to fund thier working lifestyle.....No I would not do it.

Dont feel guilty just tell them plainly that you would consider helping in say a family or medical emergnecy but as for work no.

thanks for your replys .i feel very stuck that if a spell it out to them i,ll fall out with and i dont want that,i want to be there for them for when there stuck .but like u said beeper i dont want to fund there working lifestyle .

Write then a short note, saying I know you are having a hard time, I thought I would help you by passing on some numbers of some childminders I know...or ive seen adverstised to get you started. That should give them the hint without having to say a bit NO.

I really sympathise its so difficult to say no, but the longer you leave it the harder it gets and eventually it will become expected that you will care for the children and you will be an unpaid childminder.

I would do as sunny said say no you cant do it any, dont give a reason or excuse because that gives them an opening to say oh ok how about tomorrow etc. If pushed I would say you realised they were stuck for childcare and didnt mind helping out on a short term basis, but you can no longer do this and dont want it to become a permanent arrangement.