AIBU to think this isn't a joke.....

[Blessedbethefruit01]

I hate when people say something and then follow it with " ah I'm just joking" when the other person doesn't find it funny/takes offense to it.
My abusive ex always used to do this to me and eventually when I got upset he would tell me I'm too sensitive.
My now current partner goes on about me "doing nothing" and she works really hard. But apparently that's a joke. I'm a full time student so currently I have 4 months off. I have a small business too and look after my DS and home.
I've told her it's beginning to grate on me and it's not funny. She said sorry but this morning she done it again. Said she's on her way to work and bets I'm still in bed. This was at 7am! Not like I'm in bed until 1pm.
It's not a "joke" and I dont find it funny.

Said she's on her way to work and bets I'm still in bed

Text a reply at 11am:

You bet right, how clever! Aren't you so bloody wonderfully clever, wow! I am truly amazed and astounded!

I bet you only made this "joke" comment because you're so jealous about me lounging around all morning aren't ya?? You can't bear the thought of me enjoying soooo much leisure time while you're stuck @ the office.

I bet I will block you after i've sent this text, and we shall never speak again!

Ta ra!

I was once in a similar position with a housemate. I paid my share of everything. But being a full time student meant that I was lazy (in her eyes). I also worked three days a week and would often work seven during breaks from uni (she hated that because then she couldn't be the hardest worker, like it's a competition). Now I'm working full time in the profession I trained for, guess who she asks to borrow money from.

Ditch the gf. You can do better. Uni is hard work and too many people don't realise that. And enjoy the better life that your education gives you. X

@Tlollj

Perhaps she means it. If she keeps saying it perhaps she does think you’re lazy. Then when questioned she tries to turn it into a joke. You need to have this out with her one way or another it’s going to fester.

I think her level of not being lazy is working all hours of the day and not sitting down. Her DF has this mentality and still works hard at the age of 70. I just want her to realise that not everyone does this and it's not normal to do it all the time. I shouldn't be made to feel bad for having a 4 month break and doing my own business from home

@OhEff

I was once in a similar position with a housemate. I paid my share of everything. But being a full time student meant that I was lazy (in her eyes). I also worked three days a week and would often work seven during breaks from uni (she hated that because then she couldn't be the hardest worker, like it's a competition). Now I'm working full time in the profession I trained for, guess who she asks to borrow money from.

Ditch the gf. You can do better. Uni is hard work and too many people don't realise that. And enjoy the better life that your education gives you. X

She got a degree and retrained a couple years before I met her so I would have thought she would have been more understanding. The career I want to go into is also sitting on a chair most of the day listening to people. Where as hers is up and about and very active. No doubt I'll probably end up being lazy because of that and she will tell me how much more tough her job is 🙄

Generally we are fine. No issues other than these "jokes". Although sometimes I feel like she's judging me if I sit down for a break.

I agree it's not nice. She's is irritating and the fact that she has ignored how you feel doesn't reflect well on her. Is she usually so tone deaf?

She's having digs. This will get worse over time.

It doesn't matter what time she gets up, she resents you being in bed for one minute longer. She resents you for sitting down.
This isnt something you can fix as it isn't you that has the problem. The 'jokes' aren't the problem; her resentment of you is the problem..

I hate this competitive "I'm so much busier and more important than you" attitude.. which is what it smacks of to me..

She does sound jealous and I'm not surprised really. You say your business is seasonal and busy at Christmas which suggests it's not busy now. In which case you have 4 months of looking after your dc and home - something most people do while working full time.
But if you're not living together/not sharing finances then it's not really her business. And she definitely shouldn't keep going on about it when you've said it upsets you.

You have spoken to her, she continues to do it.
It's not about the "joke" now, it's about her continuing to do something that she knows pisses you off.

I used to have a very elderly and wise school teacher who whenever someone was unkind to someone and passed it off as a joke would stand, hand on hips and say "If you have to tell people it was a joke, then it wasn't one!" She had 'a look' that could kill too!

It has often come back into my mind, particularly with my ex who was a bully!

It grinds you down after a while, OP jump on it and certainly don't put up with it. Nobody should make you feel bad about you or what you do!

@user1471457751

She does sound jealous and I'm not surprised really. You say your business is seasonal and busy at Christmas which suggests it's not busy now. In which case you have 4 months of looking after your dc and home - something most people do while working full time. But if you're not living together/not sharing finances then it's not really her business. And she definitely shouldn't keep going on about it when you've said it upsets you.

We dont live together or share finances. My business isnt crazy busy like in the winter but i still have orders to fufill and i am still busy doing things.

She sounds awful. She's chosen to do her busy job and is behaving as though she thinks little of you. Id be ditching her passive aggressive arse.