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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be confused by this compliment?

39 replies

iknowimcoming · 15/07/2021 20:44

So I'm wandering round Tesco this evening, and I vaguely register a man I've passed several times in the aisles looking at me (because he had no trolley/basket/shopping in his hands I assumed he was some kind of plain clothes store detective) so I turn the corner into the cleaning aisle and he's stood still right in the middle, so I say sorry, step to one side and wait for him to move and he hesitates for a moment then walks away and says 'by the way, if you don't mind me saying, that's a very pretty dress you're wearing'. I say 'oh thank you' laughing slightly and continue down the aisle thinking blimey, 50, fat, menopausal and I got a compliment from a stranger - go me! Then I thought but he complimented my dress, not me, so maybe he's a cross-dresser and wondered where I got the dress from - lol! And no I have nothing better to think about this evening, I'm home alone Grin

OP posts:
XenoBitch · 15/07/2021 20:49

You have good taste in dresses. That is how I would take it, but only after several hours had passed and had spent every damn one looking for a negative.

Chickenyhead · 15/07/2021 20:53

Yup, good taste it is.

Mrstamborineman · 15/07/2021 20:55

accept the compliment at face value. What is the point of assuming he lied for shits and giggles,

PumpkinKlNG · 15/07/2021 20:56

I think he was checking you out and meant it as a compliment but does sound a bit creepy!

GreyhoundG1rl · 15/07/2021 21:00

Very creepy.

LaurieSchafferIsAllBitterNow · 15/07/2021 21:03

I think it's pretty neutral to offer a compliment on clothes/style...much more intrusive to pass comment on your figure/beauty/attractiveness.

Ponoka7 · 15/07/2021 21:03

It's creepy, he wanted to unnerve you.

Tal45 · 15/07/2021 21:03

I remember someone telling me if a man says he likes something you're wearing, he actually likes what's in it.

Notimeforaname · 15/07/2021 21:05

I'd like to see the dress to see if he is BU Grin

Shamoo · 15/07/2021 21:05

It’s a polite way of saying he likes you. Because he isn’t making you the object of the complement, it is less creepy than saying YOU look nice. So it’s actually polite. Or so I was taught on a training course!

amission · 15/07/2021 21:08

Creepy AF

I had a guy 'offer me advice' on wine in the wine aisle once.

Thought he was just a bit odd. Later it hit me that he was trying to chat me up - I had a couple of miniature wine bottles in my basket and he probably thought I was single and not just someone with very poor impulse control.

GreyhoundG1rl · 15/07/2021 21:10

@Shamoo

It’s a polite way of saying he likes you. Because he isn’t making you the object of the complement, it is less creepy than saying YOU look nice. So it’s actually polite. Or so I was taught on a training course!
What in the name of God were you being trained in?! 😬
WeepingKitten · 15/07/2021 21:24

I have a tendency to compliment random strangers. I hope I'm not creepy.

Original poster
iknowimcoming · 15/07/2021 22:32

@WeepingKitten - I have also complimented other women on a nice dress or handbag before, but (and I'm not sure if this is pc now) it does seem different somehow from one woman to another to me. I don't recall ever complimenting a male stranger on his clothing (At least not since Ive been married)

OP posts:
Sillawithans · 15/07/2021 22:36

The people commenting it's creepy are probably just jealous.
I once said to a woman walking towards me that she was beautiful and she double backed and told me I had not just made her day but her year.

Whatabouttery · 15/07/2021 22:38

I had a woman run after me to ask where I got my jeans. She said my butt looked great in them!!!

Was a bit odd but we had a laugh about it and I think she was genuinely after a flattering pair of jeans.

Not sure how I'd have felt if it was a guy!

GreyhoundG1rl · 15/07/2021 22:39

There's that "just jealous" thing again

Ethelfromnumber73 · 15/07/2021 22:43

@Sillawithans

The people commenting it's creepy are probably just jealous. I once said to a woman walking towards me that she was beautiful and she double backed and told me I had not just made her day but her year.
Cool story bro. Yes, it's creepy. The fact she'd seen him a few times and he had no shopping, alongside the apparent compliment is just a bizarre way to behave. Some men really don't give a shit about possibly unnerving women, do they?
cheesecrackerz · 15/07/2021 22:47

I would have found this extremely creepy, he was definitely lurking and waiting for you if he wasn't actually doing any shopping

And definitely not jealous - I get creepy comments from men fairly regularly and bloody hate it Confused

GordonsAlive85 · 15/07/2021 22:48

I just thought of this lovely man reading this thread

To be confused by this compliment?
Moonface123 · 15/07/2021 23:04

It sounds like he's just trying to make conversation, l work in a supermarket and l see quite a lot of flirting etc, going on. It can be hard for people to meet others in real life, so maybe he's just trying to make more effort ?
I would simp!y take it as the compliment intended.

amission · 15/07/2021 23:06

@Moonface123

It sounds like he's just trying to make conversation, l work in a supermarket and l see quite a lot of flirting etc, going on. It can be hard for people to meet others in real life, so maybe he's just trying to make more effort ? I would simp!y take it as the compliment intended.
Ugh
pigsDOfly · 15/07/2021 23:15

I've had compliments on clothes in the past but usually from women.

I was asked not long ago, by a woman, if I was a dancer, she told me she thought I was because I walked with such grace.

I'd never assume they were trying to chat me up though.

I also given strange women compliments on things they've been wearing.

Original poster
iknowimcoming · 15/07/2021 23:37

I must admit I did check when I was walking back to my car that no one was following me (although I wasn't paying any attention to the man and wouldn't have recognised him again) Blush

OP posts:
Barwell76 · 16/07/2021 00:12

Sounds creepy to me.