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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Picking up children from nursery at finish time

108 replies

Crowtooyo · 15/07/2021 14:54

I saw a video on tik tok. It's a jokey account from a lady who works in a nursery (or used to... can't quite remember!)
Anyway, she made a video about parents turning up in the car park but then sitting there for 45 mins to collect their child on the dot at 6pm and then expecting a 10 minute handover.
I wondered what people's opinions are on this?

I'll start by saying I work in childcare and am paid X- X and I feel that if a parent wants a full blown handover then they need to have that within the time frame that they pay for.

I am not bothered about parents waiting outside, they probably have work calls, etc... to catch up on. And they are paying for their child to be in the nursery. So that isn't the question.

The question is specifically about whether the parent should collect at closing time and then expect a 10-15 min handover.

Voting:

YABU - a handover should not be paid for
YANBU - parent should collect within time frame and handover included in that.

I can link the tik tok if people want. Not sure whether allowed?

OP posts:

Spekoppar · 15/07/2021 15:37

Our nursery closes at 6, you can arrive any time up until 6, but their policy is that they only do full handovers if you get there by 550. Perfectly welcome to not have a handover though.

gillysSong · 15/07/2021 15:45

There's a nursery on our street and come closing time they are in the hall, and the door shut, keys in hand, sometimes they are in the garden with the door locked.
I don't blame them, pick kids up on time or early, they have families to get home to as well.

Frazzled2207 · 15/07/2021 15:47

wow people are extremely unreasonable. on the very rare occasion I picked up my child at or near closing time it was always a very quick 'right let's go thanks bye'

Lettuceforlunch · 15/07/2021 15:52

Too many nurseries expect staff to work for free in the 6-6:15 slot. If they paid staff properly, the odd latecomer wouldn’t be an issue.

Heathofhares · 15/07/2021 15:53

I might arrive a bit early - traffic is very irratic on my commute - 20 minutes one day 45 the next, si I leave work a bit earlier and catch up in the car if I have some time.

The reason I do this is so I am not late and I can make sure I can collect and be off the premises by closing time - YANBU - nursery staff aren’t paid to stay and chat after hours.

Radio4ordie · 15/07/2021 15:56

Neither. Nurseries should pay their staff beyond the last time for pick up. It’s a bizarre thing they are trying to do and unfair on staff and parents.

ememem84 · 15/07/2021 15:56

I have both ds and dd in the same nursery. depending on which one i pick up first (have to go through two separate doors to get each) i get full handover for that child. they both eat the same food so when i go and get the other one, the staff can see i have one with me already so don't bother to list the menu off - they just say dd/ds ate well today. or didnt.

i think nursery closes at 615. i have an appointment at 5 which will go until 6. luckily literally across the road from nursery. but its likely my two will be the last ones left. i usually get them anytime between 515 and 530 depending on what time i finish in the office though so 6pm isn't a usual thing for me. nursery are aware today though that i'll be later than usual.

quizqueen · 15/07/2021 15:56

There are always those parents who think staff want to chat about their children after paid daily working hours of up to 10 hours. Don't be that parent. Usually, they are the ones in the car park early too, to nab their parking space.

jwilf · 15/07/2021 15:59

I voted YANBU. If parents are sitting in the car for 45 minutes then expecting a 10 minute handover after closing time, yes they are being unreasonable.

If they are also sitting in their car for 45 minutes with the engine running right outside a kids nursery, they are being unreasonable as well as thoughtless, selfish twats who are harming kids health.

Sorry, just can't stand idling drivers and I see them a lot when picking up DS. Just had to get that off my chest.

Radio4ordie · 15/07/2021 16:02

If staff are only paid until 6pm then the nursery isn’t open until 6pm. It’s open until 5.30pm and then 5.30-6pm is shut down time when you ensure customers are out of the building and everything is tidied up.
I really think it’s a communication/CF thing for day care nurseries to claim to be open to 6pm but not pay staff beyond that. Very unfair to staff as they will no doubt often need to stay later, or to parents if staff get annoyed with them for picking up at pick up time.

BabyFartsDoStink · 15/07/2021 16:05

Ours has that as a rule. You want a detailed handover, you allow time for it.

Kanaloa · 15/07/2021 16:07

You absolutely shouldn’t expect a handover if you show up after the end of your child’s session. Parents often used to say if I had to tell them they had a late charge ‘but I pay until six!’ Yes, and that handover is part of what you pay for and should be done before six. People don’t expect to be served in a shop after it’s shut, or to stay chatting to the doctor after their appointment slot so I don’t know why they think nurseries want to be chatting to them after closing time. It’s very annoying as in many nurseries the staff shifts are ridiculous, so you might be on shift from 9am-6pm but the nursery closes at 6pm. Of course you’re never going to get out on time.

cindarellasbelly · 15/07/2021 16:07

In our creche, you pick up at x time, then staff do tidy up after. So if one staff member is spending five minutes saying 'they actually didn't sleep/eat their food today' its not a big thing. They've currently shortened their times to enable 'covid deep cleaning' and so with working hours I am just there five minutes before pick up. I don't think I've ever had a 10-15 minute handover, the wriggly toddler wouldn't allow it, but I think its a bit disingenuous to act like at 6pm everyone goes home. There will be a buffer time built in. But yes, if someone wants a discussion more than the basics I think they should be told to make an appointment.

Kanaloa · 15/07/2021 16:08

And it’s rarely the odd latecomer, it’s usually the same parents who show up at 6pm on the dot and want to have a chat.

Lunde · 15/07/2021 16:13

The nursery that my children attended had the policy that you had to be out of the door (or on your way) at collection time. So if you wanted a handover, chat or to look in the spare clothing bag etc - you needed to arrive earlier to account for this,

Kokosrieksts · 15/07/2021 16:15

I quite often sit in the car park, because I can get stuff done without being disturbed, but also don’t have to worry about being late for picking up my child.
I think 6 pm is closing time though so staff should not be expected to stay after.

20viona · 15/07/2021 16:16

That's crazy. I turn up get my kid and get a 2 minute handover at best. That's fine by me I don't need a verse on what she's done, as long as she's alive and fed that pretty much means she's had a great day.

wineandcheeseplease · 15/07/2021 16:18

I work in childcare and we have had parents rock up at 6pm then moan when they don't get given a proper handover. It's crazy.

BabyFartsDoStink · 15/07/2021 16:19

I really just want to know if he's had a poo or not (he's somewhat infrequent) and do they need anything from me.

Marmite27 · 15/07/2021 16:19

Look at from the flip side. The kids that are picked up at closing time, in my experience aren’t allowed to play with the toys as ‘they’re set up for tomorrow’, not allowed to make a mess because ‘it has to be tidy for tomorrow’ and are pretty much sat there with their coats and bags while the staff watch the clock down to pick up time.

IMO the last collection time shouldn’t be closing time. There should be at least 15 minutes after last pick up to tidy up, and sort out. The hand over would be possible in that time.

HumunaHey · 15/07/2021 16:20

I personally think it's silly for a nursery to close at 6pm if staff are only paid until 6pm. I can understand parents collecting at 6pm if that's what they pay for.

It's not really on for parents to want a 15min handover though! What is there to even say that would last 15mins! I assume the tiktoker is exaggerating.

Marmite27 · 15/07/2021 16:20

@cindarellasbelly

Yours sounds fab!

sotiredofthislonelylife · 15/07/2021 16:21

@UrAWizHarry

Yeah, that's really dickish, but then I don't understand why parents want to spend 15 minutes hearing the tedious details of the kid's day. If the kid is still alive and relatively unscathed that's good enough for me.

🤣🤣🤣

Mansplainee · 15/07/2021 16:21

Is it usually the parents asking for or expecting a lengthy handover though? IME it’s the nursery that does that. I’m not sure I really need to stand every day and listen to a detailed description of my child’s bowel movements.

Chubbychubkins · 15/07/2021 16:21

@SilverOak

Why would you sit in the car park for 45 minutes? Why not just collect your child and go home?

I do it sometimes. I leave work on time so I don't get stuck in traffic and risk being late but then if I get there early I may respond to a few emails or make some work calls. It's much easier pre-collection than once we get home.

I don't wait until 6pm though. Or expect a handover of any description unless it's particularly noteworthy.

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