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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Kids playing out

19 replies

PumpkinKlNG · 14/07/2021 19:26

I live on a main road in London, so kids don’t play out here, never seen any kids playing out where we live, earlier today we were down by their school (about a 20 minute walk away) and as we went a different way past an estate there was so many kids playing out with their bikes or playing football, I guess I just feel a bit sad they won’t get to have that experience, also nice for kids to go out and play independently rather than having to constantly supervise all the time. Though I know kids playing out is frowned upon on here and people usually complain so probably I am being unreasonable 😂 anyone else live on a main road so kids don’t play out?

OP posts:

Comedycook · 14/07/2021 19:28

Yeah we live in London too. It just doesn't happen does it. Sad really

Original poster

PumpkinKlNG · 14/07/2021 19:29

I guess I’m just hoping they aren’t missing out on the experience; it was nice seeing the community and all the kids playing together

OP posts:

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 14/07/2021 19:51

We live in a quiet place but mine didn’t play out as don’t like the children playing in the streets. I don’t feel they have missed out not doing that.

PurpleSproutingSomething · 14/07/2021 19:53

We have this initiative round our way, playingout.net/

It means that children who don't get the chance to play out with other children in their street or those very close, get the opportunity to.

CoalCraft · 14/07/2021 19:58

I loved playing out as a kid. I was essentially an only child and we lived in a remote rural spot, so playing out for me usually meant running around the neighbour's farm with his dog, but sometimes when I was up a friend's house, a whole group of us would run wild everywhere - quarries, forestries, quiet streets... Probably not 100% safe, but I absolutely loved it.

Now we live in a little suburban estate so the best DD is going to get is playing on the estate - which lots of kids do here! Better than nothing but I am sad she'll miss out on the feeling of freedom I had.

TheCanyon · 14/07/2021 20:05

Yanbu at all in my opinion, though I don't live in London so don't know how I'd parent there.

We were just talking about our reasons from moving from Glasgow the other day, there was nowhere bar the school playground across the road to play nearby. It just wouldn't have happened. By fuck do I miss the city but I think I made the right choice for my dc. I miss it every single day though and can't wait to go back.... I think.

We live in a lovely very small Scottish town, lots of similar aged dc about, they all play out here from a fairly young age. I.E 4/5ish? I couldn't imagine anything else.

Hankunamatata · 14/07/2021 20:09

We moved a small estate. I love it as kids now play out.

Poptart4 · 14/07/2021 20:10

We used to live on a main road, our children could never play out so I kept them busy with clubs and play dates. We moved to an estate 2 years ago and honestly its the best thing we did for our children.

They regularly play on the street with the rest of the neighbourhood kids. They've learned so much independence. How to make friends by themselves and how to resolve conflicts with their peers without adults stepping in. The freedom to go out and play whenever they like without me having to schedule it for them.

My now 13yr old daughter has commented afew times that she wishes we lived here when she was younger. She didn't have the same freedom as her younger siblings. I know she feels she missed out.

Original poster

PumpkinKlNG · 14/07/2021 20:13

CoalCraft that sounds very similar to my child hood that’s why I’m aware of what they are missing we lived on a big estate and all the kids from the estate would play out all day, we would play run outs, what’s the time mr wolf, we would go to the woods go fishing for tadpoles, There’s no independence now as I have to take them everywhere and they don’t get the experience of playing out alone, the playingout thing sounds good but there aren’t even many kids on the street, my next door neighbour is elderly, then next one down is a couple with teens and the other one seems to be a HMO, don’t know the other people.

OP posts:

Original poster

PumpkinKlNG · 14/07/2021 20:14

Yes also the freedom of being able to do it I know my mum use to love us playing out so she got a break for a few hours!

OP posts:

Glitterblue · 14/07/2021 20:17

We live on the outskirts of our town, almost in the country, a walkable distance to school but nobody else walks from here so we either walk DD down or take her in the car. What she's started doing recently is asking if she can walk home with her friends and they go to the park together near her friends house and generally just play outside and then we pick her up at the arranged time. DH meets her outside school to give her her phone. I was massively feeling she was missing out before she started doing this.

Original poster

PumpkinKlNG · 14/07/2021 21:31

That’s good at least it’s a compromise. Mine aren’t old enough to do that yet as their school is a bit of a walk and being London there is lots of main roads to cross etc

OP posts:

prawntoastie · 14/07/2021 21:54

As a kid from London I played out in the 90s a couple kids on my road do as well but it’s not common anymore

mswales · 14/07/2021 21:55

I live in a cul de sac in London where the kids play out all the time, I'm so thankful for it. Kids also play out in a couple of nearby residential streets though that is not common. Would you consider moving to a cul de sac or estate or is it not an option?

WorraLiberty · 14/07/2021 22:01

I grew up in London and always played out in the street, as did all the other kids.

I still live in London and my 3 kids played out in the street, the same as all the other kids.

We didn't/don't live on a main road though.

Original poster

PumpkinKlNG · 14/07/2021 22:07

Yes it’s the difference between a main road etc and not, where their school is is near an estate so was easy for kids to play out, can’t move unfortunately but would like to!

OP posts:

TigerBreath · 14/07/2021 22:13

My kids played out on our street in a city and then when we moved to the countryside they roamed further to the park, in and out of mates houses, to the woods, fields and farms. A lovely part of childhood and the foundation of building independence.

alittlefishy · 14/07/2021 22:14

I live in central London in a gated development. All the kids play out and love it.

ADadInDisguise · 23/08/2021 19:37

This is something I worry about. I enjoyed playing out all over my village as a kid in the 70s and 80s. My kids don't get this now and I feel they are missing out. Youngest is 9, oldest now 12.

We're trying to limit screen time and trying to convince them to go outside! Rubbish on YouTube is too easy and too accessible. Maybe I push this harder than my wife, but our own experiences are so different. Her parents were very protective and gave little freedom. My parents were a lot more easy going.

Do kids play out so much now? I don't see it so often. We live on the edge of town in an area of similar size to the village I grew up in with so much accessible wodland and open land to play in. But if my kids won't get out there to find friends, and any other groups that are already playing our are already in their friendship groups, it would seem hard. I don't think the pandemic has helped either. It knocked out socialising in the final year of so of his primary school.

Also in a more urban situation not everyone goes to the same school. Our area is served by 3 primary schools, our town 4 seconday schools. When I grew up everyone from the village went to the same schools. I think a lot of his peers are spending their summers in Holiday Clubs. We used after school club a lot with both working, where perhaps going to the park with friends would have been better.

Some mention estates. Maybe newer estates are good. Housing here is 1920s. Not too busy though a lot of parked cars on the roads.

It would be very difficult for us to move.

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