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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to just want some help from social services

63 replies

Geneticsbunny · 14/07/2021 13:44

I have a disabled son who, before covid, was in a mainstream school, was very sociable and was generally a happy chilled out boy who needed a bit of help with some things. Over the last year we have had all of our social care taken away because of covid restrictions. My DS has struggled so much with the changes that he is now unable to talk, incontinent, struggles to eat and has developed loads of repetitive behaviours. I have just found out that although we have been approved to have respite funded for this summer, there are no places available... I honestly don't know what we can do. He is far too disabled now to access a normal holiday club and requires 2 adults to be able to safely leave the house. We can't be the only people struggling with this? Why is noone reporting this and why is nothing being done?

OP posts:
Luckypoppy · 19/07/2021 23:02

His current school need to be raising an early help form so that you can access respite care. He needs to be assessed by the team on social services that deal with this. If you already have a social worker, they can fast track it. The school need to help, if they aren't try your GP for a referral to your paediatric disability team - again if already involved ask them. Try the special school. They may allow their staff to be PAs and will deal with this all the time.

Luckypoppy · 19/07/2021 23:04

Ask at any local special schools for PAs. TAs always want extra hours and are experienced. They can do his time in your home if you are worried about him out and about.

IncessantNameChanger · 19/07/2021 23:12

Your not alone. My respite stopped in February but after lots of complaints it turns out that was just my SW not doing his job.

I have asked for my sons direct payments to go back to panel and my LA to just approve a care agency. I was getting money for a PA but employing and fi doing a PA for four hours a week was worse than no help at all.

I have three kids with SEN. Two have EHCPs and both are in non state SEN schools. Getting the right school has removed 90% of our problems. My kids actually get therapy in school and went in during lockdown.

None of that was luck. I appealed to move them which I'm sure has taken a permanent toll on my mental and physical health. But the difference in no therapy and no staff during covid so no school really has never been more apparent.

I fear for these kids into adulthood

Original poster
Geneticsbunny · 20/07/2021 10:20

@Luckypoppy he moved schools 2 weeks ago. New school is amazing but obviously don't know him very well yet and are now closed for summer so I assume won't be able to help?

I am trying to get hold of the social worker today to see if we can get anywhere with that. He is now so distressed, wanting to be back at school, that he has started hitting us.

OP posts:
Luckypoppy · 20/07/2021 20:31

School may be able to help if you try to contact the safeguarding lead. If he's hurting you, you could try a police call. They won't take him away but may have access to areas of social service that can help you.

Use Ofsted if you are getting no where with social care.

Original poster
Geneticsbunny · 24/07/2021 16:05

Manager to get a social work referral via my counsellor and we now have a place at a holiday club. Thanks for all the moral support everyone. Hopefully the summer will be managable now

OP posts:
SomethingNastyInTheBallPool · 24/07/2021 17:10

Oh, that’s wonderful news! You must be feeling so relieved.

GingerAndTheBiscuits · 24/07/2021 18:22

Great news OP, here’s hoping for a good summer for you all

Essentialironingwater · 24/07/2021 23:44

@Geneticsbunny that's fab news!!!

AnnaBellaCruella · 24/07/2021 23:48

@0None0

You do know respite foster carers generally do the job at a loss, don’t you. You are saying it’s u fair that two adults are not prepared to volunteer their home and their free time to look after your son. Respite care is great when it’s available, but it’s not a right
You really are unpleasant aren’t you?
AnnaBellaCruella · 24/07/2021 23:49

@Geneticsbunny

Manager to get a social work referral via my counsellor and we now have a place at a holiday club. Thanks for all the moral support everyone. Hopefully the summer will be managable now
Brilliant news, hope everything goes well and good luck
Clydesider · 25/07/2021 00:26

People with disabilities have been all but forgotten in the pandemic. Like you say, barely a mention in the media either.

You have my sympathy, OP. I hope you can find some help.

Original poster
Geneticsbunny · 19/08/2021 15:27

For all you kind people who posted here before and want to help, a Mumsnet poster has started an open letter to the government to highlight exactly this problem. Please if you have a spare minute sign this for all the other people in the same situation as us support.disabledchildrenspartnership.org.uk/en-gb/sign-maureens-open-letter-disabled-children-and-families

OP posts:
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