Is my Dad being brainwashed by alt-right anti vaxxers?

[AbitSceptical]

I'm not sure if this is really an AIBU but I don't know where else to post and maybe IABU for being worried about this...

My Dad, in his 70s, lives alone, has always been free-market right (socially he's more liberal).

He subscribes to e-news sites and gets update emails from right wing media sources, which are all anti-lockdown, anti-vax, anti-woke. He often sends us (his children, sometimes his siblings) long ranty emails, forwarding 'The Truth' about 'Covid lies'.

He uses terms like 'face nappy' for mask, 'sheeple' for anyone who doesn't agree with him, and talks about 'that commie on sage' - not sure if he means Whitty or Valence or someone else.

He is convinced that his grandchildren are in grave danger of hospitalisation if we have them vaccinated.

He doesn't listen to reason - I've tried telling him that no-one has offered to vaccinate my children yet, that all his children and their spouses are double vacc'ed (we did think long and hard about accepting the vaccine, we're not idiots, and we are all fine.)

He went through a similar phase around the time of Brexit - he was an ardent Leaver.

What can I (we - my siblings have the same problem) do? I don't have the energy to engage with his nonsense. We've already told him not to send on these emails, but he sent 3 just last night. If you argue back he gets very aggressive.

I'm worried about his mental health. Has anyone experienced anything similar / got any ideas about what to do to help him?

FYI so as not to drip feed - 2 of his 4 kids live abroad, myself and one other in the UK, we have our own families / jobs / school aged kids and live 2-3 hours drive from him, so are not in a position to check up on him in person on a frequent basis.

@Emilyontmoor

I won’t debate you here but let’s just say the experts have failed us badly. I think all sides can at least agree upon that.

Good grief, and people with no scientific expertise, like the lonely man next door who sits at his kitchen table in a ketchup stained t shirt leaning over his computer or the deranged attention seeking ex nurse who scared her 11 year old son witless with tales of genocide that never materialised would have served us better? Or indeed Heneghen, Gupta, the Fat Emperor etc who have never published any data to back up their theories (and have suspicious finding links to Trump supporting organisations in the US). Far more sinister than membership of a now irrelevant (in spite of the ridiculous right wing Hoover type US rhetoric you get on these websites) U.K. Communist Party.

The Scientists have responded to a novel virus to try to fill the knowledge gap from the start. From the Wuhan doctors who risked their livelihood and lives to get the information they had gathered in the virus’s DNA, infectiousness and death rates to the rest of the world including publishing then in the Lancet in mid January when Xi had not yet owned up. Right to the people who delivered vaccines in record time, not because they cut corners, or were acting for Bill Gates to implant us with chips or change our DNA but because they had the funding to implement the existing vaccine science. (I didn’t get this from a website I spoke to a vaccine expert back in May 2020 about the amazing progress being made.

I have a family member who has spent two hours each end of long days commuting in London to make their contribution, starting to deliver testing to London hospitals in March 2020 when Dido’s operation was still a complete shambles, catching Covid and giving it to me in the process. They have made amazing leaps in research into treatments and understanding of the disease compressed into such a short time, and in some countries where political ideology did not trump science they kept case and death rates low.

They did not understand the true nature and origins of SARS for 10 years but countries who put those lessons into practise have done far better than countries who thought they were exceptional.

Look at the map of death rates - the experts are worldwide but the countries that have done worst are where right wing ideology and western exceptionalism were most prevalent. We have been failed by right wing populism and croneyism not the experts.

thank you. people who spout 'experts have failed us' have a gross misunderstanding of how science and research works, people with vast education and experience responding to an ever changing situation with remarkable effort and results. They are not omnipotent. But of course, dumb and dumber with zero education or experience of public health, virology, etc, know exactly how this should have played out. Just had the woman (60s?) working at the counter to sell moving boxes explain to me that vaccines don't work and she wont get covid as she is so healthy. Refuses to wear mask. Thanks for the tip box lady, I will now ignore Professor of medicine in charge here, with her 30 years background of epidemiology, public health and experience of various epidemics around the world.

To this day nobody can explain what Dominic Cummings was doing in Russia for years before coming back to infiltrate our government to cause chaos. People like him and that Marjorie Taylor Greene in America are working to destroy our way of life through confusing and radicalising susceptible people.

Arguing with your dad or blanking him will not work. You have to cancel the negative with the positive.

@AbitSceptical

I'm not sure if this is really an AIBU but I don't know where else to post and maybe IABU for being worried about this...

My Dad, in his 70s, lives alone, has always been free-market right (socially he's more liberal).

He subscribes to e-news sites and gets update emails from right wing media sources, which are all anti-lockdown, anti-vax, anti-woke. He often sends us (his children, sometimes his siblings) long ranty emails, forwarding 'The Truth' about 'Covid lies'.

He uses terms like 'face nappy' for mask, 'sheeple' for anyone who doesn't agree with him, and talks about 'that commie on sage' - not sure if he means Whitty or Valence or someone else.

He is convinced that his grandchildren are in grave danger of hospitalisation if we have them vaccinated.

He doesn't listen to reason - I've tried telling him that no-one has offered to vaccinate my children yet, that all his children and their spouses are double vacc'ed (we did think long and hard about accepting the vaccine, we're not idiots, and we are all fine.)

He went through a similar phase around the time of Brexit - he was an ardent Leaver.

What can I (we - my siblings have the same problem) do? I don't have the energy to engage with his nonsense. We've already told him not to send on these emails, but he sent 3 just last night. If you argue back he gets very aggressive.

I'm worried about his mental health. Has anyone experienced anything similar / got any ideas about what to do to help him?

FYI so as not to drip feed - 2 of his 4 kids live abroad, myself and one other in the UK, we have our own families / jobs / school aged kids and live 2-3 hours drive from him, so are not in a position to check up on him in person on a frequent basis.

i am sorry about your dad. since brexit came upon the scene it appears many people refuse to acknowledge how complex situations are - like the EU/trade deals, regulation between countries etc, are very complicated. As is science. Its a desire for everything to be reduced to a simple solution without the effort of thought. Thats why they don't like 'experts'. They genuinely think trading internationally is like just setting up a market stall in the local market, unaware of the many barriers between countries and other trading blocs.. And science - I have gone past a anti marks/vaccine protest - crackpot signs/jesus/anti abortion. Maybe only engage in topics like gardening etc.

And we have outright 'muh russia' and brexit, this is a thread to appeal to a crowd.

This is why MN has been wrong on every major political decision for well over a decade, I remember when MN was waxing lyrical over Macron, outraged about kids in cages in America etc etc, it's all memory holed, and some still seem to think MN is infested with right leaning daily mail readers or pretend it is full of highly educated critical thinkers, it's becoming nothing more than twitter hot takes without the likes.

@Valeriekat

How very totalitarian of you!

ODFOD

My sister’s ex husband is like this OP. It’a not just a difference of opinion in how govt etc have managed covid - it’s following that down the rabbit hole of plandemic, bill gates, new reality or whatever, all this vague stuff, possibly involving the Illuminati and implants, who knows. To me it seems illogical that a collection of disparate governments who are all different degrees of incompetent, are capable of collaborative working to orchestrate a conspiracy of a never seen before scale. Her ex is like many people who get pulled into this way of thinking - lonely, isolated, general stuff under the heading of “other issues”. OP I second the comments about not engaging with your dad in any of these topics - the advice to foster his engagement with other interests is very good.

junebirthdaygirl: I think your advice works. Don't respond or engage and just delete the emails as soon as they arrive - reading them will just enrage you. Reply when you're calmer with something totally unrelated. I've pretty much followed this path with a similar problem and I don't get the emails anymore.

I suppose you could discover in yourself a passion for something unexpected, I don't know, seventeenth century century lyric poetry (does that even exist? never mind), or the interesting effects of colour on mood with reference to room decoration and music, or gymnastics as an art form, or something, and bang on about it in long emails back... I'm sure there must be things on the internet you could lift whole and send, which have nothing to do with covid or brexit or anything political at all.

At best it might serve to confuse his focus and make him argue against you about something that is not so dangerous and silly.

Don't engage with his rants, either try to steer the conversation elsewhere or just end the conversation. A differing of opinion is fine but ranting and raving at people is not.
One of my friends has fallen down the same rabbit hole, intelligent 30 something woman, but is very isolated in many ways. I tried to argue with her once but it just made it worse. I've since decided to disengage, and ignore it. She is becoming worse and worse but there is nothing anyone can do as she isn't interested in hearing anyone else's opinion but thinks the world should listen to hers