Dreading the summer holidays

[Crabby12345]

I feel like I am in the minority, but I am dreading the summer holidays.
I have a 5yo and a 2.5yo, contrary to what I was told when making the decision to have a second, they do not play happily together. The fights are relentless (usually deriving from the younger one breaking the older ones Lego, stealing toys, not letting them have their space etc.)
They enjoy such different activities and everytime we try to do something fun outside the house, it usually ends in disaster - for example, soft play (the older one wants me to go with them on the older section and the younger one can’t manage it) or the beach, older one got bored and started moaning about wanting to go on the rides on the pier and then whilst on the pier the younger one wanted to get out the pushchair and started screaming. Indoor activities can be just as tough as things like play doh and painting get ‘boring’ according to the older one after half an hour. When I try to play games with the 5yo, the younger one usually comes along and messes the game up erupting in a big argument between them both.
Feel terrible for thinking it, but it would be so much easier to only be catering for one, as the two of them together is such hard work. All I see on social media is how much they are looking forward to the time spent all together but all I foresee is squabbling and hard work.
I have a husband, but as I work part time, the majority of the childcare falls to me whilst he is working from home. Please tell me I’m not alone in feeling like this?

Awww bless...try spending six weeks listening to endless bickering, making food and clearing up the kitchen several times a day. Trying to run errands or do chores whilst kids moan, argue, don't leave you alone for a second. Try seeing how bloody expensive days out are. Try having zero time to yourself for six weeks. Try keeping them off screens and doing wholesome activities.

It sounds horrendous. I am wondering why people do it.

@Comedycook

I've never understood why so many other mums look forward to the summer holidays...for me it's an endurance course of bickering, mess, noise and endless food prep. Also dreading it

because even when you work ,it's not an endless juggle of school, wraparound care, homework, early nights, pack lunch, rushing everywhere,

and most of us get at least a couple of weeks off too at some point.

Crabby I'm not trying to bring anyone down. I agree it sounds draining and depressing. I have children to stay for one or two nights. It's a classic case of "I love it when they arrive and I love it when they leave".

It's hard with a toddler, but people need to chill.

You don't need to be involved with your child every 2 minutes, they need to learn to entertain themselves, in separate rooms if needed.
You are home, you get on with the chores, you sit down for a coffee.

Then you take them out for the day.

It's only 6 weeks. Not that difficult to plan some days and have lazy days when you just take them on a bike, to the local pool (they should be opened), to the park. Not every day must be a full on day, as long as you take them out of the house, it's fine.

Sorry I misread the tone of your message.

At 5yo and 2.5yo you need to be a lot kinder to yourself.

Plan one activity for the morning, and one for the afternoon. Each activity can range from 15mins-1 hour. The 15min activity could be arts and crafts, whereas the 1 hour activity could be a walk in the woods.

The rest of the time chuck on Cbeebies and give them the Cbeebies app on a cheap tablet.

Six weeks is too long. A month would be perfectly sufficient. And let's not forget our kids have hardly been in school this year...it's not like they're desperate for the break like in normal years

I started enjoying summer holidays from the ages around 8 years old. When they were little it was a relentless slog. One year sticks in my mind which I think was 2010. The jet stream got stuck and it pissed it down for the entire 6 weeks. How we all emerged sane in September was nothing short of a miracle.
I'm probably not giving you much confidence OP. Just a voice of solidarity. Please know it does get better.

Take photos of the actives in case the school asks the child what they did during the summer.

After last year’s months on end of homeschooling 6 weeks seems a breeze! Although this year mine have 7 weeks off. Plus we’ve been self isolating for the past week so actually they’ll have been off for 9 when they go back. Oh, and they don’t go back until the Wednesday so really it’s more like 10! Good grief!

My foster kids were 5 and 6 when they came to me and I was on my knees after the first summer holiday. They needed constant attention, they couldn’t play, you had to make sure they got equal turns in everything, they ran instead of walked everywhere etc. I was shattered! They’re now 12 and 13 and occupy themselves so life is much easier during holidays. So hang on in there - it gets easier!

@Comedycook

Six weeks is too long. A month would be perfectly sufficient. And let's not forget our kids have hardly been in school this year...it's not like they're desperate for the break like in normal years

of FFS, talk for yourself.

Plenty of kids have worked hard even this year, and a month off is nowhere near enough,. They need to have a life out of school, they NEED a break.

They need their social life, they've had enough of school. Or homeschool.

And a 2.5 months old is not in the school system anyway!

Plenty of kids have worked hard even this year, and a month off is nowhere near enough,. They need to have a life out of school, they NEED a break.

They need their social life

But school is a huge part of my DC's social life. They see more of their friends whilst in school than they do in school holidays

@Comedycook

Six weeks is too long. A month would be perfectly sufficient. And let's not forget our kids have hardly been in school this year...it's not like they're desperate for the break like in normal years

Agreed but all the staff at schools need it

@Comedycook

Plenty of kids have worked hard even this year, and a month off is nowhere near enough,. They need to have a life out of school, they NEED a break.

They need their social life

But school is a huge part of my DC's social life. They see more of their friends whilst in school than they do in school holidays

then put them in a summer club or other.

I do agree that homeschooling was a disaster and they are much better at school, but the academic part is over now, as it should be.

They need a break, apart from the few bits of summer homework some of us give, but depending on age.

There are other ways to meet friends than school.

Nowadays it's much harder for kids to socialise in school holidays. They don't play out or go out alone unless secondary age so you have to know other parents to arrange to meet up. Often they're working so the kids are in childcare or with family members. My DC love school...they see their friends every day...they don't ever see their friends every day in the school holidays. Yes I may try to find a summer holiday club for them.

Get out of the house as much as possible.
They may improve in terms of how they get on. I have four years between mine but they do play well together (with the odd scream!). The younger one will soon understand interaction better.
Picnic dinners are great. Saves cleaning mess at home and kids are always more willing to do anything with food!
Get yourself a decent thermal mug. Sitting in a park is so much better if you can have a nice cup of tea. The reality small folding chairs are also great if you have a buggy to chuck in under

Well that age gap at that age won’t play together yet!
At 4 and 6 you will start seeing some proper playing together and you can finally relax a bit!!
Your 5 yo needs to learn to play alone more I guess. No reason to be bored in the beach. Or if they just won’t play alone, you’ll have to do something with them whilst you do some stuff with the 2yo, then put peppa or whatever on for 2yo and do something nice with 5yo.
Try and have a structured day. Small bit of tv, out for the morning, lunch, but of tv. Activity for 5yo, 2yo plays with their stuff. Activity for 2yo, 5yo does own thing. Bit of tv, dinner, bed. And then a couple of whole day trips out a week maybe.

I’m not looking forward to it but then I’m a fully lone parent (so no ex and no family help) it means I won’t get a break at all in 6 weeks and I have 4 age 10 and under.. don’t agree with people saying when they get older they will play together, not necessarily my 9 and 7 year old hate each other and fight daily, gonna be a fun 6 weeks 😣

This is why many of us from the older generation look back and realise how lucky we were to play out with pals from 9am - teatime all through the holidays with a quick paste sandwich, beaker of squash and a Wagon Wheel to keep us going.
It never rained either.

Agree you need to lower your standards. Get out of the house for a bit every day. A walk, park trip, something like that. Then for the rest of the day leave them to play with their toys. They’ll whinge they’re bored but eventually will get the message and find something to do. Then later in the afternoon put the tv on.
It gets easier when they’re older and they have longer attention spans.

Tough age as they are too young for summer clubs.

nurseries and preschools don't tend to shut during the summer months, it's only schools. Obviously there's a cost, but there is childcare for little ones available.

It's when they start school that it becomes tricky.

I'd recommend a YouTube channel called Hapa Family. They have a 2 year old and 4 year old and she has done some good videos about managing sibling relationships.