To be upset about this

[TeaDrinker98]

So long story short, I think I suffer from PTSD due to a poor childhood where I seen a lot of violence between DM and boyfriends.

Anyway, I've told DP this a few times, as sudden loud choices frighten me and upset me more than they maybe should. He's jumped out on me several times and thinks it's funny. I have told him to stop many times, and told him why it needs to stop.

He seems to forget himself, as he done it again today. I got really angry, I was holding something in my hand and I whacked him with it (I think it was a clothe or something). He laughed at me, but I couldn't laugh, I just felt so angry.

I feel ridiculous, like such a drama queen. I honestly feel like crying whilst writing this because he just doesn't seem to understand what it does to me.

Am I being unreasonable? He means no harm, which makes me feel like I am.

YANBU. Not one bit.

I don't know anyone who does this - certainly not adults. Repetitively too? And after you've told him about your experience and sensitivity?

I also smell a big fat rat, as PPs.

It’s funny if you’re a child. If you’re an adult it’s a big red flag. He’s abusing you, not because he has anger issues, not because he’s a drunk. He’s abusing you because he thinks it’s funny.

This is cruel and you need to get rid of him. It’s pathetic that some people think this type of thing is funny when they know that it upsets someone.
I had a ‘friend’ in high school who thought it was hilarious to pull someone’s chair from under them so they fell on the ground. She did it to me a couple of times . I didn’t make a huge fuss the first time she did it to me but said don’t do that. The second time I caught my back on another chair as I fell and was hurt. She realised what she’d done as I took myself off to the school nurse. It was near the end of the day and I got sent home. I refused to see her when she called round and told my parents I was done with the friendship which was awkward as our parents were friends but I knew she wasn’t really sorry, just worried about the repercussions. She was that kind of person, laughing at someone else’s distress and I’d had enough.

He enjoys triggering your PTSD.
What does that tell you?

I've got very little to add that hasn't already been excellently explained already.

I will just say that I think you should ditch this abusive bastard, and don't fall for any sobbing and claims of he won't do it again. Because he will.

He'll do it every few months (or something like that), and says he "forgets himself".

He's not forgetting anything you've told him. He is simply leaving long enough gaps to: a) try and be plausible when he claims to have forgotten, and b) leaving it long enough for you to relax so he can get the maximum impact and reaction from you.

He's a weapons grade arsehole.