To worry about how young people feel about love island

getmetothebeachplease · 2021-07-12T20:28:12+00:00

Ok don't get me wrong I love love island, watch it every series. However I also feel quite crap about myself while watching it. I constantly think how bad I look compared to the women on there. I'm in my 30s and know that I don't look like that because of my own faults (I bloody love food! Haha) but it still makes me feel very insecure. But once I turn the programme off I don't think about it again and it doesn't affect me. But I suppose my point is that at 30 I feel like I compare myself constantly to these ladies and during the programme even daydream about Coming in to some money and being able to afford surgery to look better. But I also know that I can switch off from this and they don't represent the majority of people. What worries me is young people watching this and having the same thoughts but not being able to separate reality tv from real life. As a mother of a boy and girl I worry for both of them that people are being shown on tv to be 'perfect' and yet they still get judged on the programme for not being the most good looking ect. What does this message send? Like I say I do watch the programme so I will probably be roasted as a hypocrite but it just worries me for young people watching

SmashingBlouson · 12/07/2021 21:37

I think if you are concerned about this sort of thing affecting your kids it's probably best not to watch it with them around.

I agree it is a worrying time when 18 year olds are getting Botox and fillers.

I used to worry so much about how I looked and I wish I never wasted so much time worrying about it when I was actually in my physical prime.

As long as there is money to be made from young people's insecurities this sort of stuff will persist.

Original poster

getmetothebeachplease · 12/07/2021 21:40

@SmashingBlouson

I think if you are concerned about this sort of thing affecting your kids it's probably best not to watch it with them around.

I agree it is a worrying time when 18 year olds are getting Botox and fillers.

I used to worry so much about how I looked and I wish I never wasted so much time worrying about it when I was actually in my physical prime.

As long as there is money to be made from young people's insecurities this sort of stuff will persist.

Sorry I should have mentioned my DC are both under 5 so I never watch a programme like this around them! And never would, it just makes me worry for their future

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Macncheeseballs · 12/07/2021 21:40

No-one watches it in our house. Be a role model to you kids if that's how you feel about it

Scrunchies · 12/07/2021 21:42

Gosh I find this surprising. I watch it because I think they all look ridiculous and caricature like and that’s part of the fun.

Original poster

getmetothebeachplease · 12/07/2021 21:44

@Macncheeseballs

No-one watches it in our house. Be a role model to you kids if that's how you feel about it

Yes I agree I really should be. As ridiculous as it is I am quite invested in this series but this will be the last one I watch as my children will be at an age of staying up a bit later next year and I would never want to encourage them to watch anything like this

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NonShallot · 12/07/2021 21:45

I don't think the issue is how these men and women look and how it might affect the self esteem, its more about how it is a horrific exercise in objectifying misogyny. The gaslighting and bitchiness that goes on in this program is horrifying.

You cannot be a feminist and watch this programme. What sort of example is this setting to the younger generation? The only way to get a partner is to look and act a certain way, that performing sexual acts on TV is okay, that its alright for men to judge women and rate them according to their looks? Hard pass, thanks.

Original poster

getmetothebeachplease · 12/07/2021 21:46

@Scrunchies

Gosh I find this surprising. I watch it because I think they all look ridiculous and caricature like and that’s part of the fun.

Stupidly I actually comment to my husband that I don't like how fake most of them look but I still think they look a million times better than me with my mummy tummy and extra lockdown weight. Just my stupid insecurities

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goddessofmischief · 12/07/2021 21:47

Tbh it sounds like you're projecting. Why continue to watch it if you're comparing yourself to this extent?
It's not my thing so I wonder why anyone watches it, but what you describe feeling about it is beyond casual viewing.

helpmum2003 · 12/07/2021 21:48

These programmes are a worry. The best thing for your kids is for you to stop watching. Even if you don't watch with them it will become apparent to them that you do at some stage. Viewing figures support the advertising that supports the show.

Woodmarsh · 12/07/2021 21:48

You cannot be a feminist and watch this programme.

I don't want to be a feminist, I'm OK with that

Hyperion100 · 12/07/2021 21:48

Love Island is poison for young minds. That might sound dramatic but its really not.

Sciurus83 · 12/07/2021 21:49

You can break the cycle! Everything you said is right, and why are you so worried about young people watching it and being influenced when it is already hurting you, making you feel like you need surgery and aren't enough. Worry about the effect it's having on you too, you don't need something in your left that makes you feel like this even if it and you both pretend it's all just a bit of fun. It's just not that much fun really.

Original poster

getmetothebeachplease · 12/07/2021 21:49

@NonShallot

I don't think the issue is how these men and women look and how it might affect the self esteem, its more about how it is a horrific exercise in objectifying misogyny. The gaslighting and bitchiness that goes on in this program is horrifying.

You cannot be a feminist and watch this programme. What sort of example is this setting to the younger generation? The only way to get a partner is to look and act a certain way, that performing sexual acts on TV is okay, that its alright for men to judge women and rate them according to their looks? Hard pass, thanks.

Yes this is kind of what I am feeling and why I am feeling so disappointed in myself for watching. I have never really thought of myself as a feminist until recently and the way that the programme objectifies women does make me feel uncomfortable. Equally it makes me feel uncomfortable as a mother of a son that men are also treated like pieces of meat in this programme. Like I said in my op I'm a hypocrite because I've actually watched all the series so far but it's only recently that it's actually made me feel very uncomfortably. Maybe it's a maturity thing as I've got older. But I definitely hope this is the last series. Especially because of the deaths caused by the programme

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NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 12/07/2021 21:49

I don't like it, I wouldnt want my kids watching it

So... no. I don't watch it

Sciurus83 · 12/07/2021 21:50

*life!

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 12/07/2021 21:50

I feel a bit smug now. I've had this username for years.

Haudyourwheesht · 12/07/2021 21:51

I agree. I don't watch it, as I think it looks a crock of shite but I do think the media have an awesome power to influence people, particularly young ones, and they're doing it with no sense of responsibility whatsoever. Yes, of course parents should be keeping an eye on what their children are watching but there are limits to what they can police, particularly as they get older, and a lot of young people are very easily influenced.

lolacola77 · 12/07/2021 21:52

It's toxic. Pure poison. A feminist would not watch this. It's horrible towards men and women and promotes a very unhealthy attitude towards self image and sex.

Sciurus83 · 12/07/2021 21:53

When I first heard about Love Island I thought it was a kind of reality survival show on a tropical island that had a romantic angle. Imagine my disappointment.

Youdiditanyway · 12/07/2021 21:54

Awful programme, I would rather spoon my own eyes out than watch it. Absolute drivel.

Original poster

getmetothebeachplease · 12/07/2021 21:55

@Sciurus83

You can break the cycle! Everything you said is right, and why are you so worried about young people watching it and being influenced when it is already hurting you, making you feel like you need surgery and aren't enough. Worry about the effect it's having on you too, you don't need something in your left that makes you feel like this even if it and you both pretend it's all just a bit of fun. It's just not that much fun really.

I know, I feel so silly for feeling like this! I have actually turned off now and told my hubby I don't want to watch it again. I suppose I'm just feeling very insecure after lockdown and not looking after myself. To be honest writing down how I feel has actually made me see that it is ridiculous to still watch it and has also doubled down on my feeling that it is very dangerous for young people to watch something like this. I absolutely love my life in terms of having a loving hubby and two very much longed for (fertility treatment) children. So I shouldn't be putting myself down by comparing me self to in realistic standards. Don't get me wrong I know I still have things on my body that I need to work on but I know I don't need to look like these women. I just hope that they come out of this and learn that they don't need to depend on their looks and can enjoy their life

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malteserheist · 12/07/2021 21:55

I love love island, watch it every series. However I also feel quite crap about myself while watching it

You love feeling crap about yourself? Why? That's curious.

Maybe you need to do some work on your own self-esteem and how you treat and care for yourself, so that you can support your children to learn the same skills as they grow?

For instance, not to put themselves down the way you are just on this thread. To learn how to manage unhelpful thoughts that make them feel shit and to think in more helpful ways.

Your insecurities as you call them aren't an inevitable fact of life. You can learn to change how you feel by changing how you think, how you talk to yourself and how you behave (e.g. Not continuing to watch something that makes you feel shit!).

NonShallot · 12/07/2021 21:56

@getmetothebeachplease You don't have to watch this series to the end you know. If you're not enjoying it then just switch it off. It will probably do wonders for your mental health and self esteem

malteserheist · 12/07/2021 22:00

So I shouldn't be putting myself down by comparing me self to in realistic standards. Don't get me wrong I know I still have things on my body that I need to work on but I know I don't need to look like these women.

"I shouldn't put myself down." Followed by immediately putting yourself down.

You know that when you put yourself down it has the same effect on your central nervous system as if another person had put you down?

And when you're kind to yourself, the same applies...

Original poster

getmetothebeachplease · 12/07/2021 22:01

@malteserheist

I love love island, watch it every series. However I also feel quite crap about myself while watching it

You love feeling crap about yourself? Why? That's curious.

Maybe you need to do some work on your own self-esteem and how you treat and care for yourself, so that you can support your children to learn the same skills as they grow?

For instance, not to put themselves down the way you are just on this thread. To learn how to manage unhelpful thoughts that make them feel shit and to think in more helpful ways.

Your insecurities as you call them aren't an inevitable fact of life. You can learn to change how you feel by changing how you think, how you talk to yourself and how you behave (e.g. Not continuing to watch something that makes you feel shit!).

First off, apologies for any spelling mistakes, my phone is broken at the moment thanks to toddler throwing water on it!

Thank you for your comment. I agree I have a lot of work I can do on myself first. I want to be the best role model I can for my children. Not sure if it's relevant but I had a very difficult sexual past, I was sexually abused by my father. Then went on to just be used by lots of men in my teens, including being forced to have sex with a 25 year old whilst I was in school and then being sexually abused when I turned 16. My life is completely different now thank goodness. But it has always made me very insecure and I grew up with a feeling of needing to please men otherwise I wouldn't be worthy.
I hate that about myself but since being married and having my amazing children (and finally getting the courage to report my father to the police) I finally feel like I'm almost coming out of the other side of it. Still obviously got some work to do in myself thoug

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