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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

HAVENT HAD JAB YET

16 replies

Ariadneslostthread · 12/07/2021 20:07

I've Been really really ill for a couple of years, and it was found out recently that my illness was down to chronic gluten intolerance. It's actually resulted in me not being able to walk, and in consequence although I gave up gluten I'm having to do lots of exercise to learn to walk again. My Mum died in lockdown last year, I have a sister who is 16 years older than me and we have been left mums property which is in a warden supervised retirement block. Because my sister is utterly hopeless ( has always been looked after by her husband never done anything for herself) I'm dealing with selling the flat, I have just finished negotiating a new lease hold for it, it's now on the market. My sister knows that I haven't been jabbed because of my condition ( my consultant is worried about my reaction to the jab as I'm anaphylactically reactive to gluten). Anyway my sister wants to come and see me on a Sunday, Which would be fine but my husband is very concerned because although she has been jabbed, I haven't, and he is worried about the risk of transmitting any infection to me. It would be fine if I knew that the day would be dry and we could stay in the garden. We live in a small semi Rural village where there isn't much to do on a Sunday, and it would be easier if she came during the week or on a Saturday - if it was sunny we could stay in our garden, but If it rains we can go to a Starbucks which has a covered outdoor area. My husband has no issue with her coming as long as we will be outside, but he is worried in case it rains !. I asked if she could come on a different day, but she is adamant she babysits her grandchild every Saturday, and won't actually explain why she won't come during the week. My husband says she is bullying me and always has ever since he's known me. AIBU or his he or what here ?. I feel torn between my husband and my sister :((

OP posts:
Northernlurker · 12/07/2021 20:09

Never mind what she wants or what he wants.

What do YOU want to do? If you want to see your sister, see your sister.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 12/07/2021 20:09

Take your husbands opinion out the equation, yes he’s fine to care and share an opinion but it’s not his decision- it’s your health, mental and physical, if you want to see your sister do it. Why not ask her take a lateral flow test before coming?

mediumbrownmug · 12/07/2021 20:11

Your choice, nobody else’s. Not your sister’s and not your husband’s. Talk to your GP about your situation and then decide what you are comfortable with. Good luck. Flowers

NoMoreCovidPlease · 12/07/2021 20:35

Can you afford to buy one of those big umbrellas for the Garden? Starbucks, even if outside, doesn't sound like the safest place anyway

DeflatedGinDrinker · 12/07/2021 23:08

Your husbands the one that sounds a bit of a bully

Taliskerskye · 12/07/2021 23:29

Are you in the U.K.
it’s going to be sunny
But your life sounds extremely odd

Hobnobsandbroomstick · 12/07/2021 23:46

"My consultant is worried about my reaction to the jab as I'm anaphylactically reactive to gluten."

...but neither vaccines contain gluten Confused. My colleague has had several unknown anaphylaxis reactions, she was she initially advised not to have the jab, but then the advice changed and she had the Pfizer one a few months ago. Maybe your consultants advice is out of date now?

plumdeplum · 12/07/2021 23:47

I am very very reactive to gluten and was extremely sick when I was diagnosed Coeliac. The jabbing team knew of my condition and I had Pfizer and was absolutely fine. Are you sure you can't have it?

Hobnobsandbroomstick · 12/07/2021 23:51

But yeah, do whatever you feel comfortable with.
Stay outside and if it rains have a big umbrella each to sit under? Buy a gazebo for the garden? Argos sell one for £25.

If you feel comfortable with having her inside then open a window, sit far apart, ask her to do a lateral flow test beforehand, ask her to wear a mask. Whatever you're comfortable with.

CharlotteRose90 · 13/07/2021 00:04

I have gluten intolerance and was given the Astra Zeneca and also have anaphylaxis reactions. You can have a vaccine none of them have gluten in. I think it’s your husband that’s bullying you. You have to take the risk sometimes unless you plan on staying home for the rest of your life. It’s scary but you need to do it.

EileenGC · 13/07/2021 00:08

What would you like to do? What do YOU feel comfortable with?

I know of several people who are severely intolerant to gluten and/or Coeliac, all had Pfizer without any issues. I would get a second opinion on whether you can have the vaccine.

CJsGoldfish · 13/07/2021 00:16

Your husband sounds like the problem here.
It doesn't matter why Sunday is the only day she can come. Not up to you or your husband to question it. If she says Sunday is the only day she's free you can then choose to see her or not. No need for the drama.

ShaneTheThird · 13/07/2021 00:20

Your husband sounds like the bully who has it in for your sister. She has made it clear she looks after her grandchildren some days and has set out what day she is free. Respect that. Your husband sounds like he hates her and is trying to keep you two apart. You are an adult who should be making your own decision when you see your sister and where.

INeedNewShoes · 13/07/2021 00:22

As far as I'm aware the miniscule number of anaphylactic reactions to the Covid vaccine have been a reaction to a specific (non-food) component in the vaccines. They don't contain gluten.

I have severe, life-threatening food allergies and the available info on the vaccine made me feel quite confident to have it.

I don't think having a serious gluten allergy is a reason not to have the vaccination. If you catch Covid and have to go to hospital you'll be at far greater risk of being exposed to gluten than having a vaccination which I'm pretty sure doesn't contain gluten. Hospital food is very difficult to navigate with allergies.

I'd discuss this with your consultant again as the risk Vs benefit here should easily tip the balance towards having the vaccine.

hellsbells99 · 13/07/2021 00:36

Starbucks is open on a Sunday

EileenGC · 13/07/2021 00:39

@hellsbells99

Starbucks is open on a Sunday
It definitely isn’t where I live.
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