Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask about your relationship with your step-siblings?

34 replies

CornishGem1975 · 11/07/2021 21:04

Just that really - as a stepmother (brave move, outing myself as one, I know) with SDC and my own DC I'm just curious about how step-sibling relationships develop throughout life?

Ie if you became step-siblings as young children or teens, were you close? And if so, did you remain close as adults?

OP posts:
shouldistop · 11/07/2021 21:05

I have 2 younger step brothers. Met when I was a teenager and they were kids. I barely know them tbh.

funinthesun19 · 11/07/2021 21:09

I have a stepbrother who I met when I was 18 and he was 17. Never really seen each other that often really due to us both being the ages that we were when our parents met, but we’ve always got on very well when we’ve been in each other’s company.

Oneborneverydecade · 11/07/2021 21:12

I would have been introduced to my SS when I was 3ish and she was 7ish. She spent most weekends with us and we were close even when she married and had her children quite young. I couldn't tell you why but over the past 10 years or so we've drifted and I see her a couple of times a year.
My SB was a teen when we met, I was 10 years older. He has almost never lived locally and I see him even less frequently.

Fairyliz · 11/07/2021 21:38

Got a stepbrother when I was in my teens. Met him about three times and haven’t seen him for the last forty years.
Stepmother made sure she cut my dad off from his first family so I barely saw him for 30 years. It was my aunt who actually let me know when he died.
About par for the course with step families from what I can see.

Summertime21 · 11/07/2021 21:45

Met SS as late teens, occasionally comment on each others FB but haven't seen her in person for years. Didn't get invited to each others weddings

Aimee1987 · 11/07/2021 21:47

I have stepsister who I met when I was in my teens, never really knew her. I had a crap relationship with my dad so was never really at his house. His wife is lovely and I think she is really good for him but my stepsister is very troubled and a relationship with her now is completly out of the question.

Beamur · 11/07/2021 21:47

My DD has 2 step siblings. She's 14 they're in their 20's. They're really sweet with each other. DD and DSD are probably closest and DD is going to stay with her in the holidays.

baddaughter2021 · 11/07/2021 21:48

I met my step siblings on my mums side when I was in my teens (now late 30s) and we exchange pleasantries when we see each other (once or twice a year) but we are definitely not close. Don’t have each other’s phone numbers and only have one on Facebook.

Step siblings on my (now late) dads side, honestly couldn’t even tell you their names besides one and that’s only because I used to work with them. Wouldn’t know them in the street and only met most of them at my dads funeral. They were already adults when my dad met their mum, never lived with him or came to visit his house.

Justwalkyourfineassoutthedoor · 11/07/2021 21:49

I have a step brother and two step sisters, I met them when I was 8 and they were 3,6 & 9. We spent every other weekend together and went on holiday twice a year. We are close and I think of them the same as I do my full siblings and speak to them just as much though I see them slightly less as they live further away. Now we all have children and they all get on as cousins and have sleepovers etc

VariantL1130 · 11/07/2021 21:51

Lived with step brother from aged 11 till 19. DF and DSM still together, but I moved far away and have barely seen SB in last twenty years. I could get in touch with him via FB if needed but don't have his mobile number. We were never close and I never felt the need to keep in touch. We're civil at the odd family event etc, there's no animosity or anything, I just think neither of us can be bothered with the other. DB and SB do see each other occasionally.

Also have a SS from DSF. Never lived with her. Haven't seen her in about a decade. Wasn't invited to her wedding. Probably wouldn't recognise her on the street.

DeflatedGinDrinker · 11/07/2021 23:11

Obviously close as kids but not spoken as adults. Well, I say happy bday on fb but that's it.

M0nstermunch · 11/07/2021 23:19

Got a step brother on my father's side, 20 years age difference in us. I have no interest in maintaining a relationship with him. Been years since we have spoken, but I'm not close to my dad.

Had various step brothers and sisters on my mums side, she has been married
quite a few times. Currently have 1 step brother there I guess but we have never spoken.

CornishGem1975 · 12/07/2021 11:01

Interesting, thank you. So it seems that the majority don't have much of a relationship as adults.

My DC and my SC are super close, they al love each other so was just thinking ahead and wondering what it might be like one day.

OP posts:
GetTaeFuck · 12/07/2021 11:02

I’m closer to my step sister than I am my actual siblings. She’s 10 years younger than me but we’ve always been close.

lastqueenofscotland · 12/07/2021 11:09

My DP has a really big blended family with lots of step and half siblings.
He literally only speaks to his brother (same parents) and one step sister. The rest he sees at Christmas and that’s their only interaction.

lompolo · 12/07/2021 11:20

I have two step brothers. I met one of them a few times shortly after our parents married. Not sure if I ever actually met the other one. If they walked into a room I wouldn't recognise them!

Coronawireless · 12/07/2021 11:25

@CornishGem1975

Interesting, thank you. So it seems that the majority don't have much of a relationship as adults.

My DC and my SC are super close, they al love each other so was just thinking ahead and wondering what it might be like one day.

I imagine a lot depends upon the parents and their interactions with each other and with all the children involved. Also how much the children see each other growing up and whether any of them feel favoured or excluded or whether the parents treat them differently.
Coronawireless · 12/07/2021 11:27

The step parents who try to take only their own children on holiday...the children will never have that bonding experience and will inevitably drift apart. I don’t understand it at all!

CornishGem1975 · 12/07/2021 11:30

@Coronawireless We both have our kids 50/50 at the same time for the most part, so they spend a lot of time together, share bedrooms, go on holiday, do activities together at weekends etc. They're not the same ages but get along well.

OP posts:
BillyRaywasapreachersson · 12/07/2021 11:31

I got 2 stepsisters as an adult, we have no contact, I have no reason to try and have a relationship with them. My dd had a stepsibling but for her it was just a random child she was made to hang out with if she wanted to see her dad.

supercritter · 12/07/2021 11:32

My half sister has ghosted me since our dad died. Was fine before then

scater · 12/07/2021 11:32

I've just spent a couple of days with my step sister. She was an adult when our parents got together and I was a teen. She's amazing, currently doing all the care for both our parents as I live three hours away and have young kids. I adore and love her very much.

forpeeetssake · 12/07/2021 11:36

2 older step siblings - they were grown up with their own families when our parents got together, one lives abroad. I was a teen. Probably met both of them maybe 10 times, get on well, I like them both and I've met up with the non-local one when they've come home and been in my area, but there isn't really any kind of sibling or familial relationship as such.

jasminoide · 12/07/2021 11:54

OP I was close to my 3 step siblings growing up. Sadly we only have a very formal relationship now and see each other at events, despite living close to each other. Nothing bad happened, I can only conclude that we were close growing up because we were in the same household, but the reality is that we don't see each other as family now 😢

Thehop · 12/07/2021 11:56

I’m
No contact with my full brother but incredibly close to my half brothers and half sister. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for them x

Swipe left for the next trending thread