DD with ADHD and the football

[ADHDgirl]

So as the title says my 12yr old DD has ADHD and is not currently medicated. She wants to stay outside and watch the football on the big screen with the other kids on our estate, if it was kick off at 6pm I wouldn’t have an issue, the problem is if she doesn’t have enough sleep our lives are absolute hell because she get so so bad, her usual bedtime is 8.30pm and I just know if I let her stay up tomorrow will be torture.

She’s begged all day even after a firm no. I do feel a bit bad because she’s missing out but I suppose the thought of having an awful day tomorrow is putting me off. We don’t watch football in general as a family and we won’t be watching tonight either.

AIBU?

Id let her watch it. Would you not go to a family party/wedding because of this? What about sleepovers with friends? I get she has a medical condition but you need to have some flexibility in life.

I would let her and mentally prepare for a bad day tomorrow. I totally understand where you are coming from but it is a one off.

Thanks for all your replies.

Usually we have to stick to strict routines and times otherwise the house is in complete chaos, and life’s very very stressful/she’s uncontrollable. I’ve given the benefit of the doubt for sleepovers etc before and it’s been awful the next day.

But I suppose you’re all right in that this is a once in a lifetime thing so I’m going to make an allowance this once, I’ve made it clear to her there will be consequences if she’s really bad tomorrow. Fingers crossed and wish me luck for tomorrow 😂

I’d let her watch it and put up with one hellish day. She’s 12 and everyone will be talking about it at school, she’ll feel as if she’s being treated like a toddler if you make her go to bed.

Cross post, glad you’ve decided to let her watch it.

So glad your letting her and she knows what the consequences will be if she is a nightmare tomorrow and that you won’t be so nice next time something crops up!

I think you’ve made the right decision.

@77kidsandcounting my son has ADHD (among other things). Younger than the OP’s DD. He’s staying up - it’s likely once in a lifetime event. My son misses out on so much due to his disabilities, there is no way we would say he had to miss out on watching the match.

Well done OP.

I'm up with my 3 year old.. She is rigidly in bed by 7pm, and I'm up at 5am in the morning.. I don't care, I don't even like football but I'm joining in and not being a misery even though I'm going to feel bloody terrible tomorrow. Its 1 day op.

Aww just read your update. Good on you x

Let her watch it she deserves it.
Give her clear instructions of expectations for tomorrow, if she is hyped horribly she needs to time out a lone, say it nicely like she is making the decision.
Let her have some calming time afterwards before sleep.

@RikkiTikkiTavvi yeah im not disputing that, my son also has adhd but....hes also never had a long lie in his life and a late night would massively effect him the next day. The op isnt being unreasonable by thinking ahead

I understand your concerns op, I have a ds with asd and adhd, it’s exhausting and we do anything to limit the disruption. however we also want them to fit in, enjoy things with their peers and make memories, so in this case I’d allow it.

@77kidsandcounting same here, but is he (and we) going to remember that in 15 years time? No, he will more likely remember missing out on the biggest match of our lives.
We’ve both taken the next few days off in anticipation of a bad few days ahead, but absolutely worth it for him not to miss out.
You pick your battles.

Half eight is a really early bedtime for a 12 year old. Even with adhd will one a one off missing two hours sleep really matter

Sometimes we have to just deal with the fallout and let our kids be “normal”.

I think you’ve made the right decision OP and she will remember this forever and how you let her watch it instead of didn’t and she’ll be really thankful to you when she’s older.
Good luck tomorrow remember you’ve done the right thing even if it doesn’t feel like it tomorrow!

My 10 yo with ADHD is up.
If hasn't even started yet and we have had to tell him to calm down a gazillion times. He hasn't stopped moving or talking.

It's gonna be a long night.