AIBU? Mansplaining (light- hearted)

[SolasDearg]

So, after much lockdowns we are finally able to visit family overseas (Not in UK, both vaccinated etc). It's lovely.

However, this morning my otherwise lovely brother in law explained to me that I should go on the pill to help as I am struggling today with my period.

Seriously?! I'm mid 40s and don't need any suggestions from anyone other than my treating practitioners thanks.

Funny thing is he's generally lovely, considerate and very pro feminist. He'd probably be quite embarrassed to realise.

Anyone else experienced this kind of thing?

Background: mid 40s, bad endometriosis, fertility issues and lots of gynae treatment so well aware that the pill is no help to me!

Why are you discussing your periods with your brother in law anyway?

Yes why on earth are you discussing your menstrual cycle with your brother in law?

I was looking for panadol and struggling to stand upright. Doubled up in pain so he asked what was wrong.

I don't think it's mansplainimg. If you were telling me about bad period i would also mention trying a pill. I would probably be more specific with a brand since I tried them.

'Gosh, tell me about the medical degree and gynaeological specialism you clearly crammed in since last we met, BIL -- how impressive of you.'

Tell him he needs a vasectomy as he is full of bollocks...

Wow! He’s lucky to have survived that gem of wisdom with both testicles intact!

I wouldn’t set any store by anything my BIL said regarding my menstrual cycle. I wouldn’t be likely to be discussing it with him anyway.

Yours I’m sure meant well, and just came across you in your search for pain relief. I’d just have said that your doctor and gynaecologist had already explored that option and ruled it out.

I agree though, it could be seen as mansplaining, but would just eyeroll a bit and let it slide once backs were turned. 🙄

I don't think it's necessarily mansplaining. I've had comments like that from women. One asked if I was going to have more children (had an only at that time who was about 7 or 8). I said I hoped so and had been trying for several years but I had fertility problems. She said "oh, you should see the doctor" as if that might never have occurred to me! At this stage I'd had every investigation under the sun, nhs and private, various treatments and surgeries UK and abroad ...

Another one. Mentioned to a colleague (junior to me, no children) that is been invited to a no kids wedding and I didn't think I could go because my baby was breastfed (yes I did eventually have a second baby!) She said "oh you can buy this thing called a breast pump" as if I'd never have heard of it. I told her that I did have one and it actually required me to make numerous short expressions over 24 hours just to get enough milk for a single feed. To get enough for a whole day wou I d mean me barely being able to leave the house for 4 days in advance. She was gobsmacked. I think if someone has never experienced something they think the solution must be easier than it often is!

I agree with you OP. Not sure why people are surprised you mentioned your period to him, if I am in pain with mine I am not precious about hiding the reason from male relatives. You weren't asking for his advice, and it's not his place to offer suggestions other than where to find the painkillers in this instance!

Thanks everyone for your comments!

I'm looking forward to getting home, really not enjoying feeling this rotten in someone else's house.