To not even know where to start with divorce/ finances

[itsadandylions]

Just wondering if anyone can help point me in the right direction.

DH and I, together for 10 years, young dcs.

Separated recently and both wanting to proceed with divorce/separating finances.

He's said he will sign his 50% share of the property over to me which is worth about 90k plus pay me more than the basic in child maintenance as he's due to get some inheritance shortly which is worth about 50k that he can use as a deposit on a new property.

But when I've done the calculations online with the bank it says that I'll fall short of about 50k with what they'd be prepared to lend me.

Is there ever any leeway with this? I feel like I'm getting a good deal with the property being mine completely but currently on a low income in a part time job as studying for a new career path.

Just utterly overwhelmed and confused with what's normal and what usually happens?

Get advice from a solicitor. A sensible one who won't push you to go after the max but advise you what would be considered fair.
An hour of advice for £350 would be well spent.
You need to start afresh on an equal footing.
Also he could keep his name on the mortgage (having signed it over to you) and still buy a new house. This is what we did as I could easily meet the mortgage payments but couldn't get a mortgage.

Thanks for your reply.

I'll make an appointment with a solicitor this week and go from there.

How does it work with regards to signing the house over but still staying on the mortgage. Am I being really stupid in understanding the logic in this?

How does someone stay on a mortgage if they don't have any capital in it? Also he will want to get a mortgage elsewhere so would that restrict him from doing this?

What's the pension situation?

Have you got someone else who will go on the mortgage if you can afford the repayments? This happened to a friend of mine when she got divorced, she was working full time but in a public sector practitioner role so not brilliantly paid, she was also studying for a qualification with guaranteed promotion. Her mum was already mortgage free but still working, she went on as a joint applicant because even though it would've cost my friend more in rent than her mortgage the bank wouldn't lend her all of it on her own. They fixed for 3 years, when that ended my friend had paid down a chunk by making over payments (they said she couldn't afford) so reduced LTV and had her promotion and higher salary, so now has the mortgage in her name alone. I wouldn't advise this unless you have a very good relationship with the person you ask to do this.

As far as I am aware, you can book a half hour appt with a solicitor for free. You can get a really good idea of how to progress in that time. Good luck.

Pleased you plan to speak to a solicitor.

Your ex is trying to appear generous by giving you "his 50%", but he isn't really. No court would probably award him 50% if you earn considerably less and do most of the childcare. It isn't his to gift.

50/50 is the starting point, but the person who does more childcare and earns less tends to get much more than 50%.

So put all the equity, all savings, cars, inheritances and pensions together.

50% of all that is your starting point.

Then the courts will think about the children and who will care for them, where they will live. They don't like to make them move from the family home. They will want to make sure they are OK.

Then they will look at your future earning potential, and the sacrifices you have made for the family in terms of career.

Depending on your situation and your ex partner's, you could end up with the house plus some of his inheritance, pensions and even be entitled to spousal maintenance.

Only a solicitor can advise you.

Make sure you get everything you can. You won't get a chance to renegotiate years later.

@MindfullWWer

As far as I am aware, you can book a half hour appt with a solicitor for free. You can get a really good idea of how to progress in that time. Good luck.

This is one of the great MN myths. Yes done solicitors might do a meeting of up to half an hour to assess what they could do for you and if you would like to instruct them.

But it isn’t a given and they won’t give you detailed advice.

BUT you could get an indication of what you should be entitled to.

But best get a solicitor anyway.

If you are housing the kids as main resident parent you could easily get awarded more than 50% of the house.

All your assets are taken into consideration as part of the settlement: pensions, savings etc.

So if he was earning and racking up pension contributions while you were a SAHM for example, you would be entitled to a share of his pension.

Or could trade that for more equity in the house.

List all your shared and individual assets (including respective levels of pension) and see a solicitor.

It doesn’t mean the divorce has to be any more acrimonious.

@MindfullWWer

As far as I am aware, you can book a half hour appt with a solicitor for free. You can get a really good idea of how to progress in that time. Good luck.

Actual solicitors post on threads like these all the time to say this isn’t generally true (though you might get it from a no-win no-fee firm, but they don’t do divorces). I don’t work the first half hour of my day for free, so why should they? But a couple of hundred pounds is a small amount compared to what you stand to gain from a paid consultation.

Go and see a solicitor before you agree to your DH's 'generous' offer.

Thanks all for your comments. Will definitely take them on board and speak to a solicitor ASAP.

Sorry only just spotted your response. For us it works as follows

We put in an application to the mortgage company (Santander) for their permission to allow my ex to transfer his ownership to me. They granted this.

We paid a solicitor to fill in the form to Land Registry to file the transfer.

Title deeds now in my name.
Ex stayed on the mortgage. He is liable for payments if I don't pay but doesn't own the house.
On our financial agreement it states I agree to meet all the payments and indemnify him against any charges.
He used a broker and was able to get a mortgage where they didn't count the Santander mortgage. Its referred to as a charge and that meant he didn't pay 2nd home stamp duty etc.
I gave up my claim on his pension, spousal, business etc. Our rough split was 70/30 overall to reflect my being a sahm and having kids with SEN.