Wedding invite

[peachcherries]

My partners cousin is getting married at the end of August, which I'm his plus one for. The wedding is being organised with no covid restrictions and 90 guests invited.
I'm CEV and although I've been double vaccinated, I'm really worried about attending and being in that kind of environment. As it's relative, I feel like I have to go.
AIBU not wanting to go?

I would be a bit of a PITA and call bride/groom and say that the only way you can attend is if you can be guaranteed to be seated at the very edge of the room, in a well ventilated spot, on a table with people with only low risk of exposure (not with eg HCPS)

I don’t think that’s a good idea. I think a plus one making such requests would be bothersome and like mentioned above no one is going to care if a cousin’s girlfriend doesn’t come.

You’re a plus one...he can go alone...or take someone else...its fine...no one will be botheted

I'd keep an eye on local cases and decide nearer the time if possible.
after the hosts have paid for OP's place? sounds unfair unless partner will substitute another 'plus one'. If you don't want/feel comfortable about going, say so now.

@MimiDaisy11

I would be a bit of a PITA and call bride/groom and say that the only way you can attend is if you can be guaranteed to be seated at the very edge of the room, in a well ventilated spot, on a table with people with only low risk of exposure (not with eg HCPS)

I don’t think that’s a good idea. I think a plus one making such requests would be bothersome and like mentioned above no one is going to care if a cousin’s girlfriend doesn’t come.

Yes, that's why I acknowledge it was being a PITA

Only OP can decide if that course of action would go down OK. It's the sort of decision the immune-compromised CEV have to make frequently, and it's definitely not much fun, and can feel all kinds of wrong. But sometimes you just want to join in.

Just don’t go.

Thank you all so much for your replies. It's such a split in responses.

Sadly life is nowhere near normal for me and life consists of going to work and that's it. The effectiveness or duration of effectiveness of the vaccine is not know, which is huge concern to me.
I've decide I can't risk it and will be declining.

Why won’t it go down well if you don’t go? Don’t go if you don’t want to….no need for any angst.

@nether

I would be a bit of a PITA and call bride/groom and say that the only way you can attend is if you can be guaranteed to be seated at the very edge of the room, in a well ventilated spot, on a table with people with only low risk of exposure (not with eg HCPS)

Or decide that is too much of a faff, and that it could all go wrong on the day (as did one of our recent assured table in the garden pub booking, they'd kept one indoors for us and couldn't understand why no we're not OK with that) and just not go.

Please don't do this. The bride and groom won't be bothered if you attend or not, when they're likely paying £££ for you to attend all it will likely do is get their back up.

You aren't obliged to go, but whether it's reasonable will depend a bit on what precautions you are currently taking eg if you are shopping, eating inside etc refusing a wedding seems a bit rude whereas if you are barely leaving the house except for outdoor exercise it's entirely reasonable

You've made a sensible decision IMO, OP.

Some members of Mumsnet believe the world will end if you don't go to someone else's wedding. No matter what the trouble, inconvenience and on this occasion, even personal risk to yourself.

It really won't.